Memories
by Fabius Maximus
Summary: If memories are our soul... does that mean the soul can change?  Chapter 21 the Prodigal Daughter.
1. Default Chapter

_Author's notes:_

Well, after having recieved email from the "why do you hate KP?" Club, I felt the need to discuss this story. See, for those of you who yet to enjoy the process, I'm writing an MA thesis. Those of you who have enjoyed the process understand why, this sometimes makes me...cranky. After my fifth reading of British minutes of the House of Common's, I shall probably have to write a story where Ron gets rabies and Kim has to shoot him, otherwise known as Kim Possible: Old Yeller.

Unfortunately, the two currently incomplete stories (not counting KP/farscape, which is waiting until I can find time to rewatch season four), require a certain mindset so in the spirit of trying to get back into the swing of things, I'm going to start updating on the following pattern: Memories, Noir, and Senior Yearat least one chapter every two weeks, although it might be short. Memories is plotted for four chapter, so it will probably be finished first.

Oh, and one note about Memories: All characters are from the KP cartoon...there are no new characters... of course, reconciling that with what you read... ah, well there's the mystery!

_Memories.

* * *

_

Shelly Lu stood at the entrance to Middleton High School. The dark haired girl sighed. How many schools was this? It was hard to remember, they kept fading into the past. Hell, she barely remembered any names from her last school.

"Hi!" The voice interrupted her thoughts and Shelly turned to see an attractive African-American girl, standing smiling at her.

"You must be Shelly."

"Yeah…that's me." She said uncertainly.

"Hi, I'm Monique… I'm here to show you around the school." She grinned, "Sometimes things can get a little weird around here."

"I've heard." Shelly said, thinking about the news stories. Monique's face grew set.

"Yeah…about that. You might not want to, well…you'll understand." She said. Than, with class list in her hands, she and Shelly went exploring for Shelly's first day as a Junior at Middleton High.

The day went pretty well. Shelly was a good student, and while her times at schools were very short, she was able to fit in easily with the class work. The students… well they were just students. Some tried to hit on her, her dark hair and curvy figure attracting them, others ignored her…just like every other school. Still, the student body was friendlier than most, she figured. Monique had proven to be a fun girl to be around.

"So, what now?" She asked. Monique grinned back at here.

"Well, I'm meeting some friends at Bueno Nacho….you want to come along." She paused.

"You eat there all the time?" Shelly asked. A Shadow passed over Monique's face.

"Not all the time, no…" Then she looked behind Shelly and her eyes widened. Shelly blinked, both at her look and the odd clicking sound she heard.

"Why is _she_ here?" Monique wondered.

"What?"

"Uh, nothing, Shelly, hang on, I need to talk to someone." Shelly turned as Monique hurried past her. There was a redheaded girl, hair in a pony tail, wearing a large sweater and long pants, coming down the corridor…slowly. The reason for that was clear, as the two crutches she used to support her body made the clicking noise as she moved. More than that, her body was…hunched, was the only word Shelly could think of, moving slowly as if she was in a wind. Monique stalked towards her and Shelly quickly looked somewhere else. However she could hear fragments of their conversation.

"…warned you about this."

"…Just had to….something."

"…don't need….stop babying…"

"…acting like it." The girl finally gave Monique a glare, and spun around, obviously trying to end the conversation…but the gesture was ruined as she lost balance and Monique was the only one who saved her from taking a trip to the floor. Shelly looked around to see if anyone else was going to help, and noticed something. Every other student was deliberately not noticing anything out of the ordinary…and in fact her attention garnered her a few glares. She turned back to her locker and busied herself with the combination.

"Hey KP." A cheerful voice came as a blond haired student came around the corner with a wheelchair. Now the girl was glaring at him.

"I didn't need…" She started.

"Uh-huh…did I ask you a question? Monique, did I ask KP a question?" He said. There was a…naked rodent on his shoulder? Shelly blinked at that. Then she blinked again, and couldn't tear her eyes away from him... or rather his face. One side was normal…but the other side…an eyepatch covered his left eye, and a network of new scars lined that side of his face, pulling his mouth up in a lopsided smile. The girl tried to glare, but ended up looking at the floor and obediently sitting down in the wheel chair. Shelly didn't say anything as the boy looked at Monique.

"Thanks Monique, I'll take it from here."

"'Kay Ron—are you going to Bueno Nacho?"

"We've…had a long day." Ron said, and behind the girl, where she couldn't see him, his one good eye dipped meaningfully. Monique nodded.

"Well, see you tomorrow, than."

"Who was that?" Shelly asked when Monique came over.

"Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable…" Monique said, and Shelly suddenly realized that Monique had tears in her eyes.

"Oh My God…" Shelly said in horror. "But…they…the website…"

"That's over, Shelly." Monique paused, "Don't ask me why or how…it's not my story to tell." Shelly nodded.

"So, uh…ready for Bueno Nacho?" Monique said, forcing cheer into her voice. Shelly nodded, uncertainly, her eyes fixed on the two figures receding down the corridor.

To be continued.


	2. Chapter II

_Authors notes: _This was supposed to be in the first chapter, but I truncated and didn't look at the previewsmy bad.

Lunchtime:

_"Pride goeth before a Fall and a Haughty spirit before destruction"_ Prov 16:18.

Bueno Nacho

At Bueno Nacho, Monique was back to her old self, except for an odd look at one booth. The place was full of kids from the school, enjoying the afternoon. Monique and Shelly, after getting their order, headed to a large corner booth where one other student sat, a kid in a hi-tech wheelchair.

"Hey Felix—how's life?" Monique said, Felix grinned back.

"Cool—not only have I survived the day at school, but I'm gonna be the greatest zombie slayer of them all tonight!"

"Heh." Monique laughed, "Felix, this is Shelly, Shelly, this is Felix, so if you ever need zombies slain, you know where to go." Shelly laughed.

"What if zombies need people slain?"

"Oh, I do that too." Felix assured her.

"Well… what pays better?" Shelly asked.

"Oh, Zombies, most definitely zombies." Felix said, "Being life impaired, they always pay well…before they try to eat your brains." He looked at Shelly.

"So, what brings you to Middleton—and why didn't you fight to stay away?" Felix said grinning. Shelly blinked.

"Well…my mom died last year, and I've kinda been bounced back and forth between families." She said. "My aunt decided she didn't want me around…so she sent me here and got an apartment."

"You live alone?" Felix said, and then, apparently trying to change the subject from her family, grinned. "Hey Monique—you were asking where you could have that party."

"Get out, Felix." Monique said, "You'd all just come in and leave her apartment hip deep in take out."

"We would?"

"Well, I might…leave a little." Monique said. She paused, "What's it like? I mean, living alone." Shelly shrugged.

"About the same as living with family—mom and I…were never close." She paused, "Sometimes I don't even remember what her face looked like." She continued, trying to lift the mood, "But hey, what do you do at Middleton?"

"The mall—I work at Club Banana, movies," Felix broke in,

"Video games."

"Laughing at the teachers." All three students burst out in laughter at that most ancient of pastimes, shared with students of Sumar and Ur.

"Well, when they aren't handing out homework." Felix said. "At least it's better as Juniors." Shelly smiled at that.

"Does the school have a cheerleading team? I was going to try out at my old school, but…"

The door opened and a group of cheerleaders came in laughing and chatting, evidently new from practice.

"Speak the devil's name and he shall appear." Felix said.

One, a brown haired girl who was evidently the focus of the group, paused by the table.

"Who is this?" She asked, looking down her nose at Shelly.

"I'm Shelly Lu… How are-"

"So not interested." She cut Shelly off. "I just wanted to know, could you be any more out of date in those clothes?"

"Huh?" Shelly said, surprised. "These are good clothes!"

"For Neanderthal man, maybe." The girl frowned, "Try not to make the school look even worse than it is."

"Shelly, Bonnie. Bonnie, Shelly." Felix said, "Bonnie's our official greeter, spreading sunshine and joy with her happy attitude. When she isn't working as our head cheerleader."

"Hmph." Bonnie said and swept off.

"What's her problem?" Shelly asked.

"Maybe she isn't walking right." Monique said viciously. "I mean, servicing the entire football team probably makes you sore."

"Monique." Felix said in a lower tone, "That's not true."

"What? It doesn't make her sore?"

"She's never done that. It wasn't her _fault_, Monique."

"Well she certainly wasn't slow to take advantage…"

"Kim asked her." Now Shelly was feeling completely out of her depth, as Felix and Monique glared at each other.

"Um…" Shelly said. "What am I missing?"

"Nothing." They both said, and Shelly sighed, brushing back some of her obsidian hair.

"Look, um guys." She said, "Don't get pissed, but when Kim and Ron were at school today, you acted weird Monique, they look like _nothing_ I've ever heard, and people glared at me because I noticed." She paused, "and now, you hate the head cheerleader and Felix says 'Kim asked her.'" Shelly looked at them for a moment, and then continued, "I'm sorry, but could you at least give me enough back story so I don't piss people off by accident?" The two of them looked at each other and nodded.

"OK…" Monique said, "A little—but I can't tell you everything, anything like it. That's the first rule. What happened to Kim and Ron is off limits—guys who get pushy get a visit from Brick and the football team…girls, well, get ostracized." Shelly nodded.

"OK."

"You know that Team Possible used to do missions, right?" Shelly nodded.

"One of them went wrong…really, really wrong, and they both got hurt real bad." She paused, "They've only just started back to school…but…" She shook her head, "Like I said, that's off limits."

"And you're Kim's friend." Shelly said.

"Both actually." She smiled, and Shelly noticed again, there was a little moisture pooling in Monique's eyes. "They're just students now, Shelly—no more Team Possible…or anything like it." She shook her head, "And that's all I can say about it." Felix looked like he was about to say something, but the door to the restaurant opened, and Ron and Kim entered, Ron pushing the girl in her wheelchair, crutches racked behind it.

Felix and Monique shut up, and Shelly noticed a brief pause in the conversations of the store—even the workers paused and looked over, before starting work again. Ron didn't notice, but Kim got a blush on her cheeks, as he wheeled her over to the table.

"Mind if we join?" Ron asked.

"I thought…" Monique said.

"I couldn't resist the call of the Naco!" Ron said. Kim snorted and Shelly abruptly realized that Ron was here because he wanted _Kim_ to be here. Monique scooted over to make room, and Kim grabbed the edge of the table, daring anyone to make a comment, and levered herself into the booth. Shelly wasn't saying anything, when one of Kim's arms caught her gaze. The long sleeve had pulled back, revealing the ugly new scars at the wrist, like someone had dragged broken glass across the wrist. Kim didn't seem to notice that _Shelly_ had seen, but she pulled the sleeve down in an often practiced reflex. Ron plunked himself down beside Kim, his lopsided grin matched, both sides of his face smiling.

_Death might beat him…nothing else will and he'd laugh even at death._ Shelly suddenly shook her head at the thought. But it wasn't silly. There was an unconquerable humor in that eye, one that refused to take the world—or himself, seriously. Monique abruptly got up and grinned.

"Well, Why don't you two get to know Shelly while I get some more food."

"Want some money?" Ron asked,

"Nah, remember I still owe you from last lunch." Monique said and headed off.

"So, you're…" Ron started.

"Shelly Lu." Shelly said, Ron grinned back.

"Oh, I bet you got teased over that name."

"Yeah."

"Well, join the club—Ron Stoppable at your service." He said and his pet leaped out. "And of course, the amazing Rufus!" Shelly laughed at the rodent made a bow. Ron looked down and waited, but Kim was staring at the table.

"And Kim Possible."

"Hi." Kim's voice was soft, and her eyes were dark. She shook her head. "Sorry, I'm a little random today…ah, there are like, um…cheerleading tryouts tomorrow." Felix broke the brief silence that followed.

"Shelly was going to try out for the team at her old school, Kim…think you can get her into tomorrows try outs."

"Oh, I mean I was thinking about it, but-" Kim looked up, directly at Shelly, and she suddenly felt an electricity in the air as their eyes locked briefly.

"Yeah…yeah." Kim said with a little more energy, "We don't have a lot of good prospects…so yeah, why don't you come tomorrow, after school…I'll let them know you're a new arrival." Shelly almost said no, but the others had taking on an almost imperceptible attitude, like they desperately wanted her to say yes.

"OK…" Shelly said, "I'll give it a try." Then Monique was back with a platter of food. Ron held out his hand for everyone to stop.

"We must first, see if these are true The rodent jumped into one dish, and moments later there was an empty dish with a stuffed Rufus by it.

"Well?"

"Oh yeah!" The rodent replied.

"Very well… we may dine." And with that he dove in and Shelly realized that they'd _better_ dine—or Ron would get it all. They all ate, and Shelly noticed that for all of his loud joking, Ron didn't take his eyes off Kim and made her eat a full plate.

"Gah." Monique said as Ron put another dollop of hot sauce on his food. "You using that for food or rocket fuel?"

"Hey, it works for both—and it cleans my dentures!" Ron laughed back, "beats taking them out to get cleaned every night." Both Monique and Felix winced. Ron laughed, "Don't be so horrified guys—Remember, they're just temporary." Kim closed her eyes. For a brief second Ron winced himself and put a hand on her shoulder, giving it a quick squeeze.

"Um…yeah." Monique said. Ron looked at his watch.

"Oh man…" He said, "we're going to be late for Phys-Therapy. You ready KP?" Kim looked rebellious, but Shelly saw that Ron wasn't going to back down and Kim evidently knew it.

"Yeah." She said. Ron pulled the wheelchair up and got Kim into it, heading out. As they passed by Bonnie's group, Bonnie turned.

"Kim, remember the Cheerleading tryouts, and _try_ not to be late."

"OK…" Kim said.

"Oh that does it." Monique hissed, getting up, "Let's see how Bon-Bon looks without _teeth_."

"_Monique!"_ Felix grabbed her as she tried to pass him. "Look at Kim—she's not angry because Bonnie's treating her like nothing happened."

"Oh, and you're going to say it's because of her great humanity?"

"I don't care why—but she's about the only one who can pull it off, so don't screw it up by making a scene in the middle of the restaurant." Shelly wasn't watching them, as she saw Ron and Kim in the parking lot, getting into a van. Ron opened the door for Kim and helped her in and then folded the wheelchair, putting it in the back before getting into the drivers seat. They didn't leave, and Shelly, ignored by Felix and Monique who were having a low conversation, watched as Kim said something, angrily, her finger pointing towards the school. Ron shook his head, and then Kim was evidently shouting at him. Ron shook his head again, and Kim suddenly had her face in her hands. Ron pulled her into his embrace and held her for a few moments, before starting the van and driving out of the parking lot.

To be continued.


	3. Locker room chats

Locker Room Chats

* * *

The next morning, Shelly was ready for school. As usual, she'd gone to the apartment, sat down, watched TV, wondered around it's sterile confines, surfed on the internet, and then gone to bed. A typical day in her life, she supposed. Shelly sighed as she lay down in the bed. Maybe this school would be different. Maybe she would at least stay here long enough to remember some of the people. She was always forgetting their faces.

At the entrance to the school, she found Felix, not Monique. Shelly blinked.

"Did I?" she started, trying to remember if she'd done anything wrong.

"Nah, I have classes with you." Felix shrugged, "I was helping a friend yesterday, so I took a sick day."

"Oh."

Felix grinned, "So, shall we?" His chair whirred forward.

"That's… a weird, um… chair." Shelly said, looking at the wheelchair.

"Yeah, well Mom's a cyberneticists, so she tricked the chair out—that's what I'm going to do, cybernetic augmentations." He grinned, "She started when I was five years old." Shelly blinked at that.

"You've." She bit her lip before the idiotic words escaped. Felix didn't seem annoyed.

"Yep—hit by a car when I was four, severed the lower spine cleanly." He shrugged, "Unfortunately, nerve tissue doesn't regenerate."

_So idiot, why don't you ask if he's had any agonizing infections recently?_

"Still, it has it's advantages—who else gets the official right to have something in the school that can fly and go from zero to one hundred in ten seconds." Felix grinned at her. Shelly realized that he'd known _exactly_ what she was going to say.

The unease passed as the day continued. Shelly found that most of the kids liked Felix and Monique (who showed up later) and were perfectly happy to talk with shelly. She avoided the subject of her (lack of a) home, and kept to generalities. Most of those added up to the fact that she was nuts to try and join the cheerleading team, since Bonnie was a dragon queen. That often led to remembering the days of the maddog mascot, which resulted in everyone getting uncomfortable and changing the subject. At the end of the day, after a brief science class, which ended when the teacher unexpectedly found out that Nigerian dancing weasels really didn't like his toupee, Felix and Shelly found themselves sitting in the gym, waiting for the cheerleaders to show up.

"Oh." Bonnie said, "You made it." She sighed. "Well, given that there isn't anyone else I can think of who would be worse…why don't you try it?" Shelly paused.

"What about Kim?"

"Well," Bonnie frowned, "I _Guess_ we can wait." She consulted her watch, but there was no Kim. Finally, she frowned and then spoke. "OK…we'll delay the tryouts until _after_ practice." There were groans at that, but Bonnie glared at them. "You want to be cheerleaders, you expect some sacrifices. This is one of them." Felix shrugged and grinned.

"So… I'd better go- I have lab, but I figured I could wait until the tryouts were over…" Shelly shrugged. "Don't worry about it." She said. As Felix left she watched after him. He was cute…maybe she should ask… Then, over the sound of the cheerleaders, she heard something…or maybe not. It was more a feeling than anything else.

Ignored by everyone else, Shelly went into the girls locker room. She heard something.

"Hello?" Nothing. She walked past the lockers, and than heard it again. Shelly turned the corner and saw, crutches leaning up against the wall, Kim Possible. Holding a cheerleader outfit on her lap.

Crying.

"Hello?" Shelly paused, "Kim? Are you ok?" _stupid__ question._ Felix and Monique would probably say that she should leave her alone.

Screw that.

"Hey, Kim…what's wrong?" Kim suddenly noticed her and looked over at her, her tear streaked face wan.

"Oh, Hi, um…"

"Shelly."

"Shelly." She paused, "When are the tryouts?"

"At the end of practice." Kim looked up and blinked.

"Ohmigod…" She said, "I'm late…late again…can't I do _anything_ right?"

"Whose uniform?" Shelly asked.

"Mine… I, uh…decided to clean things out after today." She sighed and closed her eyes. "It doesn't' really matter anymore, not after yesterday."

"Yesterday?"

"The physical therapist…said that I'm slowing up in improvement… they don't know, but I may need these…" She indicated the crutches, "forever." She shook her head, "Not that I don't deserve it."

"Deserve it…why?" Shelly shook her head. "I'm new here, remember? So you had an accident—that happens."

"It wasn't an accident." Kim said. "It was…well it was Shego's trap, but my fault. My fault all the way."

"It was my fault." Kim repeated softly. "We'd been getting so many calls, so many places, and were so…tired. Every place there were goons, and even when we beat them, there was always another call." She said, "Ron wanted to hold back—but I couldn't. Even if GJ would cover it, what would it look like for the "girl who can do anything" to flake. Her face twisted, self loathing in it. "And so we kept getting beaten up, more tired…I flunked my first test… and then…then we found out why."

"Why?"

"Shego." Kim said, and Shelly had never heard such a depth of hate. "All of it had been Shego…getting us tired, getting us beaten up…and when she showed…we were captured." Shelly looked at Kim. The cheerleading outfit was twisted in her hands.

"She wanted to beat you up?"

"No. She wanted to break us. And she did break me."

_Why is she telling me this?_ Shelly wondered. But then, looking at Kim, she realized why. Shelly _didn't _know her. Maybe she could talk to Shelly in a way she couldn't talk to her friends. Kim closed her eyes, as if she was remembering something else.

* * *

"_All you have to do is say "uncle" Ronnie." Shego said, grinning. "Of course, then the boys will take out any left over energy on Kimmie there." Kim struggled, trying to free herself. The bonds were tight. Then Shego continued talking. They'd been captured, but there were no death traps, no Drakken… in fact just this room, with a few cells, barely more than kennels, where Kim and Ron had woken up, unable to even stand upright in them. Now they were out of them, Kim tied to a post and Ron with his hands bound, standing in the middle of the room, surrounded by goons…but scarier goons then she'd ever seen before. _

_"But I think that'd be too bad—I have other plans for Kimmie. Still, if you consider her pain less important then yours…like I said, all you have to do is call out…one word, Ronnie."_

_"Ron, I can take it!" Kim shouted through her exhaustion and pain. Those guys were built like dump trucks and Ron was covered with bruises, and neither one of them had slept in a week. He gave her a grin. _

_"Don't worry, KP… I'll handle it." And then they fell on him. Ron might have been able to win…but for the fact that his hands were still bound…and even so, he did good. But one of the goons got him from behind and held him, while another started punching away. Ron gasped and sagged, before a blow snapped his head back._

_"Ron!" Kim screamed, "Say it! They'll kill you!" Ron didn't say anything, just kept struggling. Kept struggling until he fell to the ground, curled up, as the men kicked him again and again and again, Kim's screams ringing in the room. _

_Finally, Shego called them off and strolled over to Ron, slapping him once or twice. The semi conscious boy groaned._

_"Gee, Kimmie, he's alive…who would have thought…" Kim started to curse Shego, then shut up as Shego hauled back and kicked Ron._

_"Very good, Kimmie… you're beginning to understand… not completely…but don't worry, we have a **lot** more time to learn…"

* * *

_

_"_Kim?" Shelly asked. Kim had zoned, and when she'd touched her, suddenly the red heads eyes had snapped open and she'd almost fallen off the bench. She shook her head.

"It's…nothing." Kim said. "Let's go see how you do on the trials… if anyone's left still." She had difficulty hauling herself up, but Shelly didn't offer to help. If Kim was torn up about her physical condition she didn't need to be reminded of it. Outside, they found Ron waiting for them.

"Hey KP…Bonnie's about ready to have a melt down."

"Oh…" Kim said. Shelly frowned.

"A meltdown…why, it's only ten minutes since I went in?"

"Ah, you do not know our Bonnie." Ron said, "You will get to know her if you join the team…"

"Is that a good thing?"

"Sure!" Ron paused, "Well…depending on your definition of good." She said, winking at her from his one eye.

To be continued.


	4. Doctor's Consultations

Doctor's consultations

* * *

Back in the gym, Kim made her slow way to the table set up where two other girls, Bonnie and someone named Tara, were sitting in their cheerleader outfits. Shelly wondered for a moment—if Kim wasn't on the team, why was she making decisions. Ron caught her look.

"Kim used to be the team captain…and she's still better than anyone about judging." He shrugged, "Bonnie knows talent." Shelly nodded. The routine that they put her through was more adhoc then it would have been otherwise, but Shelly quickly found herself moving to the time of the music. Bonnie and Kim were both putting down marks while Tara just watched. Then the music ended and Shelly waited for their judgment.

"Well…that was pretty weak." Bonnie said. "Compared to everyone else."

"Everyone else had a week to study the routine, Bonnie." Kim said, "Shelly just saw it today." Bonnie looked over at Kim and sighed.

"OK, but _you_ get her up to speed, by next week, or she's out." Kim gave a grin—a ghost of her former confident smile, but still a grin.

"I'll-"

"Ms. Possible?" The voice came from the door, and Shelly turned and saw an older woman looking at Kim, with…not annoyance, but firmness on her face.

"Oh, um, Hi, Doctor Peterson." The woman looked at Kim and frowned slightly.

"Can I have a moment?" Kim looked around and nodded. She grabbed her crutches, and frowned at Ron when he moved towards the wheelchair. Ron subsided.

"OK… um, Shelly, we need to start putting together some times to practice."

Kim walked out of the room, following the blonde doctor.

"What's that…" Ron shook his head.

"She's one of Kim's doctors." His tone didn't invite any more questions, so Shelly shut up, running her hands through her black hair, green eyes concerned.

* * *

Once outside, and away from any other students, Peterson frowned at Kim. Kim paused, bracing her self on the crutches.

"I thought we had agreed that you would tell me if there was any major change in your condition."

"There wasn't." Kim said, "The doctors just gave me some news."

"Unlikely to ever regain full function…is not 'just news', Kim." The teen shook her head, and Peterson watched her, brown eyes worried. "Kim… I'm your psychologist, and credit me with enough brains to see the nose on my face. You are a _very_ physical girl—yes you can do math and you are, or were, an "A" student, but your joy was in what you could physically do. And now you've just been told that may never be again." While she had been talking, she'd been leading Kim outside the school, to the outdoor lounge area, now deserted. They found a low, concrete bench and Cindy sat on it, indicating the other spot for Kim. The former cheerleader carefully lowered herself to the bench, sighing as the weight was taken off her legs. The crutches were placed to her side, Kim unable to disguise the glare on her face at them.

"Yeah…well it was pretty… Um…" Kim looked away, blinking rapidly. "But it's not for certain, I mean they said, "unlikely" not impossible." She grinned and said, "And nothing is impossible for a Possible." The humor didn't last and her smile didn't either.

_And you're the daughter of a doctor, so you know that doctors _never_ flat out say impossible. They use 'unlikely' instead._ Cindy shook her head.

"Kim…" She paused, "You also were in the locker room. Alone."

"Ron was outside."

"And that's very nice, but the terms of your agreement with the school board don't allow for you to be alone at _any_ time." Kim glared.

"And so I'm supposed to ask for someone to come to me when I go to the bathroom."

"If you want to continue to come here? Yes." She paused, "By rights, the school board shouldn't have let you back in, and even if they had, you should be forced to have a teacher or aide with you, not a student. Fortunately." She smiled, "Mr. Barkin can be very persuasive… and so can I." Then she stopped smiling, "But if you don't hold up your end of the bargain, we won't be able—no." She paused, "We won't have the _right_ to try and keep you here."

Kim shook her head.

"Thanks for keeping my welfare in mind." Cindy's hand lashed out and pulled one of Kim's hands to her, pushing back the sleeve, revealing the ugly scars on her wrist.

"I _am_ keeping your welfare in mind. You do remember how you got these, don't you? Trying to commit suicide in the girls bathroom? I have to give you credit for knowing how to go about it—if Monique and Zita hadn't been passing by, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now." Kim tried, but couldn't meet the older woman's face.

"And today," Cindy said, "I find that you just have discovered that something you've done all your life may be impossible, and you than go, alone, to the locker room, to 'clean out your stuff'." She shrugged, "Do we need to go over the main signs of suicide…again?"

"I'm over that." Kim said, pulling her hand back.

"_No you are not!"_ Cindy's voice rose. "You are not near being 'over it', because I know soldiers from past wars who have had forty years to get 'over it' and they aren't." She paused, "You may feel that you are for a time, but depression—even suicidal depression, is a very real danger….and if you are not going to abide by the rules that have been put on you, _for your own good, _then I have no choice but to inform Mr. Barkin of that fact." Cindy looked at Kim's face, "And if you were so...over it, why have you beencrying?" She reached out and took Kim's hands in her own, more gently this time, both of them sitting on the bench.

"Kim, the reason we don't want you to be alone isn't just so someone can spy on you. Other people, friends, they are your _lifeline_… not just Ron, because it's unfair to put that on him." Kim yanked her hands out from Cindy's.

"I _Know that." _She said, "But he's the only one who understands…"

"You haven't given the others much of a chance. They've come to me."

"I can't tell them." Kim said, looking at the floor. "I can't do that."

"Why?" Kim looked around, unable to meet Cindy's eyes.

"Because…" Her voice fell to a whisper, "Because they'll hate me. They'll know what a coward I was."

"I think you're wrong, Kim." Cindy paused, and went on to another subject. "So, what's Shelly like." Kim blinked at the tangent.

"She's nice… I mean, she really doesn't talk about her past much, but she's nice. She wants to join the cheer squad."

"Oh? And I heard you were going to help her?"

"Yeah. You know just how much slack Bonnie will give her."

"Ah yes, the mathematical numbers 'zip' and 'none'." She shrugged, "So how are you going to help her?"

"Run through some routines, show her how things go…" Kim got an almost involuntary grin, "Let her know what causes Bonnie to blow a gasket…."

"So she can avoid it?"

"Um, yeah, that too." Kim blinked at her expression. "Dr. Peterson, Bonnie _likes_ to blow a gasket. She's not happy except when she's explaining why she should be furious."

"And that's…. A truth that no shrink will ever explain." Cindy looked at Kim. "Good luck with Shelly than, Kim—you've only got a week, remember."

"I know…" Kim said.

"Don't worry." Shelly replied, "I think you can do it."

"Thanks." Kim said, "I'd better get back to Ron….he's taking me home." She paused, "Oh, doctor?"

"Yes?"

"I'm…sorry. I really wasn't thinking about… you know."

"I know Kim…but it had to be said." Kim left, and Cindy watched her as she made it to the door, where Ron was. Somehow he had a sixth sense about where Kim could be, and yes, there was her wheelchair, ready to go. Kim didn't argue this time—tired out from the day and the news. The two teens vanished into the school..

Cindy sighed. Kim was doing better…but they could not make a break through. Not yet. Not until…

_Lord give me strength…and give your Daughter, Kim Possible, and her friends, Strength to see what must be done._ Short prayer over, Cindy headed out to her office. There was a lot of paperwork that didn't do itself.

To be continued


	5. Conversations

_Training and revelations.

* * *

_

The next day was Saturday, Shelly didn't really know what she'd do, but then her doorbell rang and she found Ron at her front door.

"So, ready to enter Hell?" he said, grinning.

"Huh?"

"Today, you enter into the first day of practicing under Kim Possible."

"Kim? Is she?" Ron Shook his head.

"Nah, she's at home right now." He shrugged, "Kim decided that the doctors were wrong, and she was going to walk as much as she wants, thank you very much."

"What happened?" Shelly asked. Ron sighed,

"This morning she couldn't get out of bed, much less walk anywhere—her mom's giving her a bath and leg massage, but I figure she'll be in the chair all day today." He grinned. "So I decided to pick you up a little early, and drop by Felix's to get some stuff and we'll swing by Kim's and pick her up." Shelly nodded at that.

"Is Felix coming with us?"

"Nah, he and Monique have a date today—they'll meet us at lunch."

"Then why-"

"That's where I'm staying right now." Ron said, and his face abruptly closed up. Breakfast and the drive to Felix's house went quickly, with Ron pointing out the various sights—many of them apparently tied to his and Kim's adventures.

When they got to Felix's house, Felix's mom was waiting for them. She smiled and gave Ron a quick hug.

"Ron, Kim calledher mother will take her to the gym and wait for you."

"Oh good." Ron said, "Thanks." Then, the older woman looked at Ron and Shelly and in a quieter voice, continued.

"They called again."

"So?"

"Ron, they just want to talk to you."

"I think we've said all we need to say to one another."

"They were afraid."

"That's no excuse." Ron paused, smile for once nowhere near his face. "I'm going to be with Kim all day, so if anyone needs me, that's where I'll be." He smiled.

"Thanks again."

"It's ok…Ron." Felix's mother said, looking at him with some undefinable sadness.

When they were in the car, Shelly looked at Ron, and the way his hands were white against the steering wheel.

"Sorry about that." Ron said.

"Old girlfriends?"

"Parents." Shelly shut up. The rest of the drive passed in an uncomfortable silence, broken when they got to the gym. There was a van in the otherwise empty parking lot, with an older version of Kim standing by it, Kim in the wheelchair next to her.

"Hey KP!" Ron called, cheerful again. Kim looked rebellious, and Shelly noticed that her crutches were nowhere to be seen. Then, her mother went and got the crutches from the van, handing them to Ron.

"Since someone who shall remain nameless, but has the initials, K.A. P., seems to be bound and determined to use these, I suggest you put them in your van, Ron."

"Hey, no problem, Mrs. P." Ron said, ignoring Kim's glare. Shelly walked over to Kim, while Ron and her mother took the crutches to the other van.

"Thanks Kim." She said.

"It's okay." Kim said, "Besides, Bonnie is _serious_ about dropping you in a week." She shrugged, "I think you can do it." Shelly looked closer at Kim, and noticed her face was pale, and her legs twitched, uncontrollably, like every muscle was locked up.

_She's hurting._ Then, when Kim turned the wheelchair and headed inside, Shelly heard her give a brief hiss of pain. _She's really hurting…_ And that was why her mother had walked over with Ron. The two were talking, Kim's mother looking concerned, and now that Kim wasn't facing him, so did Ron.

_You were hurt as badly as Kim._ Shelly thought. _Why is everyone depending on you?_ Kim couldn't walk…Ron had lost an eye, and she bet that wasn't the only thing that had been done to him. But all the stories had always had Kim being the tough one…so why was Ron now the one everyone seemed to depend on?

"Ready?" Kim asked. Shelly looked at her and grinned.

"Yeah… well not really, but lets do it anyway." Kim grinned,

"That's the spirit!"

For the next six hours, Kim showed Shelly exactly what to do, with Ron perched on the bleacher steps by her, holding one of her hands, except when she came out on the floor in her wheelchair to show Shelly something she was doing wrong (or more rarely) right.

Kim wasn't an easy taskmaster…although Ron mentioned that at least this wasn't soccer practice (somewhat oddly to Shelly). Kim blushed at that comment, but kept on going.

By the end of the practice Shelly thought she was improving, and Kim agreed.

"Yeah, you have all the components of themoves down, but you have to think more of the people _around_ you." Kim said, "Remember the cheerleading team is a single whole—it doesn't matter how good you are if you don't fit in with the others." She shrugged, "That'll come in general practice, but after this weekend, not even Bonnie will be able to say you don't work with them." She sighed, "It's a good team."

At that point, Felix and Monique strolled in (well, wheeled in Felix's case), laughing and chatting, holding hands.

"How was the movie?"

"Perfect!" Monique said, "Attack of the Zombie Yak part XIII was all it was said to be."

"Was this before, or after, the movie sucked your brains out?" Kim said.

"After, of course…" Felix said, "That's the fun of the movie!" Kim shook her head and sighed.

"So, what now?" Ron asked.

"Lunch and…miniature golf?" Felix replied. Ron grinned. "Ahhh yes…miniature golf."

"Ron…" Kim said, "remember, they have the new attraction…monkey mania?" Ron frowned, and Rufus gagged.

"Yes, well, just because evil has infiltrated the golf course is no reason for me to run…"

"I thought you were over Monkeys," Monique said.

"Yes, but a monkey attraction at the golf course is still sick and wrong!" Ron said.

"Well, lets go do it!" Felix said.

"First…Beuno Nacho." Ron said.

"Does he eat anywhere else?" Shelly asked Kim.

"Only if there is nothing, and I mean, Nothing else." Kim said.

At Bueno Nacho, Kim and Felix were talking at their table, while Shelly, Ron, and Monique headed to the counter. Monique looked back, and Shelly noticed that she was waiting until they were far enough away for Kim to not hear.

"Ron, Felix's mom called us."

"And?" Ron said, his voice closed.

"They called again."

"I know."

"You have to talk to them."

"No, I don't." Ron said quietly.

"Kim would want you to—she has asked you to." Monique said to Ron, and Ron nearly dropped the drink he'd just filled up.

"I know. She has. " Ron said, "And I can't. Not even for her. Not after what they did."

"It's making Kim feel worse."

"Then don't tell her." Ron said. Monique sighed.

"And what about you, Ron?" She said quietly, "They're your parents."

"They were my parents." Ron said, "It was their choice, what they did." He paused, and again without any hint of a smile on his ruined face, "Excuse me." He said, and turned around. By the time he got back to Kim and Felix, he was the same joking Ron. Felix looked over at Monique and Monique shook her head, sadly.

Shelly looked over at Monique and sighed.

"So, is this something I can't know either?" She paused and got an annoyed look on her face, "Because if it is, could you please stop having these conversations in _front _of me?" She looked back at Ron, joking with Kim and Felix. "Besides, I heard Felix's mom talk to Ron."

"Yeah." Monique said. "Well… I guess you should know—you look like someone who knows how to keep her mouth shut…and if you don't…"

"You'll hurt me terribly." Shelly said. "I don't squeal on friends, or try to make points with some boyfriend." Kim was laughing now as Rufus looked like he was imitating General Washington going across the Deleware.

Monique nodded. "When we're at the golf course."

They went back and put their food down, and Monique grinned.

At the miniature golf course, Monique and Shelly teamed up, leaving Felix, Ron, and Kim to go themselves. It worked, because evidently Felix had been showing Kim some of the tricks for using a wheelchair, and in fact he turned off much of his own chairs electronics, making it more like her own, so she would be better able to learn from him.

Pretty soon, Monique and Shelly found themselves a hole ahead of the others, which gave her time to talk.

"OK." Shelly said, "Ron's parents."

"Ron emancipated himself."

"Why?" Shelly asked. "Did they disown him?"

"No….not him." Monique shook her head.

"When they brought him and Kim in…" She closed her eyes, "We thought Ron was going to die. He'd… he'd been tortured, so badly… he had broken bones, burns, he'd been starved of water… his eye was gone, the face." Monique paused, "He was in a coma for three weeks."

"What about Kim?"

"Kim was awake…but…" Monique shuddered, "Shego…" and her voice was a hiss of hatred, "Had made certain to keep Kim awake for everything she did to Ron.. Kim still hasn't told anyone the whole story. The only thing Kim has said was that Ron took a lot for her."

"He's a real boyfriend." Monique nodded at that.

"And nobody calls him a nerd anymore—you get your eye ripped out for your friend, _and_ don't turn into a basket case…" She gave a soft laugh, "With all the monkey freaking, everyone figured it'd be Ron, not Kim that would go off the deep end…but he seems to be handling it better."

"So what happened?"

"Like I said, Kim was awake, and then about three weeks into it… she saw Ron."

"Bad?"

"Bad…but not like what came after." Monique closed her eyes, "I was there. Ron's _parents_ hadn't known that Kim was up, and they came in on her with Ron. She was trying to say she was sorry…but Ron's dad grabbed the wheelchair and wheeled her right out into the hallway." She looked down and tried to concentrate on the golf ball, but suddenly the cheery music of the course seemed to fade and die.

"They told her their son had had enough of being Kim Possible's flunky and target… and that if she ever tried to contact him, in any way, again, they'd call the cops on her. The next day they had a messenger give her parents the court order." Monique missed the golf ball. "I remember I was in the corridor, so I heard Ron's mom's words to Kim: 'since you didn't quite manage to murder our son this time, pardon us if we don't give you another chance.'"

"And Ron disowned them for that?"

"No." She paused, "The next day Kim went to school…and…and well tried to kill herself. When they took her off she was saying over and over again that it was all her fault that she deserved this, that Ron's parents were right… and when Ron came out of the coma, his parents didn't tell him. It wasn't until he talked to some other people that he found out everything that had happened." Monique looked behind them, where Ron was balancing on a bench, laughing with Kim and Felix. Shelly realized that Monique had probably been the one doing the telling.

"I've never…I've _never_ seen anyone so angry. He wasn't even angry at me, and he _scared_ me, Shelly…not in a loud way…he just got…quiet…." She paused, "I don't know what he said to his parents, but he walked in, they were there for about 20 minutes, and then walked out with a single suitcase and went to Kim's hospital room. I was with him, and they weren't going to let him in, but Mrs. Possible let him in and anyone else who got an idea to stop him, just one look at his face…._brrr__…_. She was sedated, I mean, really sedated, so he just looked down, took her hand, held it, and then kissed her on the cheek.

"and then?"

"And then Ron went to the hall of justice, called in some favors, I guess from some people he and Kim had helped and got himself emancipated. He moved in with Felix the next day…"

"Why not the Possible's?"

"Her parents don't want him too."

"They _don't_? After all he's done?"

"Not that—they're afraid that if he does, he'll never get back with his parents…so is Felix's mom." Monique sighed, "It does tear Ron up…but I don't know if he _could_ forgive them, even if he wanted to." She shook her head, "Ron told me that as much as he knows it isn't true, it feels like his parents _wanted_ Kim to kill herself." Shelly shook her head and opened her mouth, but just then a golfball bounced past them.

"Hey guys!" Felix called, Ron and Kim by him, "Get a move on! You're holding up the game." Shelly and Monique looked at each other, waved, and started playing.

To be continued.


	6. Confessions and Denials

Confessions and Denials

* * *

Authors notes: 

Ooops...

Regarding Dr. Peterson.

Now, we can either say that she is a canonical character, the one in the background that ran across the camera for 1/22 of a second in episode 14...

Or we can say I goofed, and yes Virginia...there is at least one created character in the story.

I'll leave it up to you guys which is correct.

* * *

The rest of the week passed…quickly. Shelly got used to the routine, and found that she quickly fell into Kim and her friends orbit. Even Bonnie seemed to be part of their group, although Shelly knew that there was no chance that Bonnie would cut her any extra slack because of _that. _Kim had drilled Shelly over the weekend, and then she'd had to face Bonnie—and today was the one week mark. Friday. The day that Bonnie would decide. Kim had told Shelly that she couldn't overrule Bonnie—Bonnie was team captain, and in truth, Kim was there because Bonnie let her be. 

Shelly finished the drill with the rest of the team. She looked over at Bonnie who looked back at her, sourly and then admitted that she was… passable.

Barely.

Shelly didn't say anything—Bonnie wasn't happy unless she had something to bitch over, Shelly figured that out fast enough…and in any case Bonnie was working as hard as anyone else.

Kim wasn't there, unfortunately. Of course, Kim had been there most of the week, but right now, Kim was with her doctor. Ron leaned against the wall, waiting with Monique and Felix (well Monique was actually sitting in Felix's lap), and when the practice ended, Shelly came over to the three.

"So, was it 'passable'?" She asked.

"Girl, for Bonnie, that was the same as electing you best cheerleader of the year!" Monique said.

"It was great, Shelly." Felix added.

"Ron?"

"I think you should have done what we discussed." Ron said. Shelly looked over at him.

"Ron, Bonnie said that I was not to wear the Maddog hat…no matter what you did to me."

"Even for a Naco?" Shelly shook her head, and then laughed as Rufus, hearing his favorite meal come up, charged under the abandoned head and started trying to run about with it.

"So…when's Kim going to be finished?" Felix asked Ron.

"It depends…" Ron paused, "Hopefully a while—it's better when she's there a long time."

* * *

"Any nightmares?" 

"Yeah… but not so bad…not really." Kim shrugged. "Mom put me on some light sleeping pills."

"Yes, we discussed it." Cindy paused, "But Kim, understand that sleeping pills are, at best, a temporary solution. Eventually you will build up resistance to them."

"I know… Mom's the doctor."

"True… so how are your brothers, and your father."

"Dad still doesn't' want to let me out of the house, and the Tweebs…" Kim sighed, "They don't joke so much anymore. I really wish they'd play some joke on me."

"They almost lost their big sister…it's to be expected that they're upset." Cindy paused, "and of course they're so intelligent that they're much more able to understand what happened to you…without being able to handle it any better than other ten year olds." She shrugged, "Their school psychologist is keeping me appraised, and…without breaking confidentiality... they're doing fine." She paused. "Now…Shego had kept you and Ron for three weeks, correct."

"I… I guess so." Kim said, "We lost track of time. The light never changed, there were no clocks and well…nobody kept on a schedule. We were fed whenever she felt like it."

"Which wasn't often." Cindy supplied. "Both you and Ron were suffering from borderline malnutrition."

"Yeah." Kim said. She tried to grin. "One of the guards seemed to be a little nicer than most…" She paused, "One day Shego wasn't around and he let an apple fall into the cage. We were both in the same cage that day."

"He did…who ate it?"

"We both did…" Kim paused, "Don't tell dad, because, well, we didn't have any knives or anything, so we both kinda just started eating from opposite sides, and ended up kissing."

"Kissing?"

"To get the last of the apple juice off our lips." Kim looked down at the floor, "I remember worrying about how we would hide it, but well, we ate everything, core and all."

"I see."

"It's odd…it tasted so good, but I can't get the same taste now if I eat an apple."

"Not surprising, given the memories that you had—starving people have often remarked on that." Cindy looked at Kim. "Among other things…your mother mentioned you are still putting food under your bed."

"Oh, well, ah…" Kim looked everywhere.

"And I'd bet that you have crackers in your locker."

"I-"

"Again, it's to be expected.."

"Yeah, well at least it wasn't as bad as having to drink the water Shego poured onto the floor…" She shuddered, "No, check that. The time Shego gave us those big glasses of water, and they turned out to be _salt_ water… that was the worst." She paused, "Then she left, and we were so thirsty, and she'd left a gallon jug of water…just out of reach in the room." Kim closed her eyes, then opened them again. "But you know this."

"I do." Cindy looked at Kim. "Kim, I think it's time we talked about the period…"

"What period?" Kim said, warning in her voice.

"Between when Shego mutilated Ron and you were rescued."

"Nothing happened. Shego…" Kim hissed, "Hurt Ron and then left. Then Global Justice showed up and took us to the hospital."

"Nothing happened. For over a day, she left you alone."

"Right."

. "Kim, you're avoiding…again."

"No I'm not." Kim said. "I'm not avoiding anything!"

"Then why do you always stop here? Ron's mutilation was the last severe injury he suffered, and we know that your most severe injuries came before that…so why stop here? Why not keep going."

"Shut up!" Kim shouted at her, she grabbed her crutches and got to her feet. "I'm finished, I don't need to talk to you anymore today!" Cindy sighed.

"Alright Kim… we're finished, for today." Kim moved fast, even for someone without crutches, and Cindy's last words hit a slammed door.

* * *

At the gym, the cheerleaders were leaving when an angry Kim, face red, came back through the door. 

"Kim?" Shelly asked. Monique looked concerned.

"What is it, girl?"

"Nothing!" Ron gave a silent whistle. Bending over to Shelly, he said in a quiet voice, "See what I mean?" Shelly gave a small smile and then nodded at herself.

"Um… Kim, Monique…Bonnie?"

"Yes?" Three voices asked.

"Would you, ah, like to come over to my house…for a slumber party?"

"A slumber party?" Monique grinned, "Count me in!"

"Well…." Bonnie said, "I suppose I could clear my calendar…"

"I don't know." Kim said, "I have to clear it with mom."

"Great!" Shelly said, "I'm certain your mother will agree!"

"Mom's not the one I'm worried about." Kim muttered.

"But what about us?" Ron and Felix wondered in unison.

"Well, you could invite some guys to your own slumber party?" Bonnie said wickedly, laughing at the gagging noises that intervened. At that moment, Ron got a phone call, picked up his celphone and frowned.

"Well, speaking of the devil, Rabbi Katz wants to see me tonight…" he shrugged, "I guess that solves my problem."

"Why?" Kim asked.

"Why else? Another reconciliation plea." Kim was in Ron's blind side, so he didn't see her wince.

* * *

Surprisingly, Kim's parents weren't against the idea. Well, Kim's father wasn't home, so he didn't get a vote, but Kim's mother was quite happy….as long as Shelly understood certain things. Kim's face burned red, but Margaret Possible had made it plain—she told Shelly, or Kim stayed home. 

"Now Shelly." She said, "Kim can't take a shower…not unless you have support bars in your shower."

"I don't." Shelly said, "But I have a bath."

"Good enough… as long as someone helps her in and out of the bath." Kim frowned, but Shelly didn't miss a beat.

"OK, it's not like we haven't seen each other naked in the showers before—well at least Bonnie and Kim have."

"Good… honestly, if I'd asked the same thing of a boy regarding another boy…" All three females shared a brief sigh at the idiocy of the male sex. Then Kim's mother said one last thing. "And Kim needs a nightlight."

"Mom!"

"Kim… do you really want to wake everyone up for six blocks around the house? You need a nightlight… I put one in your bag—and it's a battery powered one, so no fears of a power outage, like happened last week." Kim paled and sad nothing else.

That night, Shelly's apartment became the undisputed domain of the fairer sex, as Bonnie arrived, with her own (fashionable) pillows and bedding, right before Monique. Kim was already there, having been dropped off by Ron, who quickly fled the horror that was to ensue.

"So…" Shelly said, grinning, "Ready?"

* * *

"So Ronald." Rabbi Katz said, as Ron drove up to his house, and got out. "I was wondering if you'd play me a game of racquetball at the college courts?" Ron sighed. 

"Yes, Rabbi…but the answer to any other question is no."

"You know what the answer is without the question? I should be so lucky!" Ron grinned in spite of himself, because Rabbi Katz had suddenly assumed an accent right out of _Fiddler on the Roof._ Ron shook his head.

Later at the college courts, Ron was having cause to regret his decision—Rabbi Katz might not have looked like a super athelete, but he was fast… and liked the game. Ron desperately tried to return serve after serve…and Rabbi Katz evidently wanted it that way.

It was hard to think up answers when you were trying to play…which mean the first thing you thought of came out.

"How's Kimberly doing, Ronald?" Serve, Return.

"Pretty good…if people would stop asking her questions."

"She only has to answer…like you do."

"Not my place…" Serve, duck, return.

"Why? You were hurt worse than she was."

"I'm not the one in the chair."

"You are the one without the eye—and she might heal. You never will."

"I can deal with it."

"So how furious are you with her." Ron missed the ball.

"What?"

"Ronald…. You've admitted to me, you told your parents." Ron burned with guilt at that one, "That you disagreed with Kim's decision to keep taking missions…that you wanted to stop, to rest…and you only went on her with that last mission because she… 'puppy dog pouted you.'"

"It was a mistake, but I'm not furious with her." Ron said, serving the ball again with far more force than needed. Rabbi Katz didn't smile, but returned the ball and waited until Ron was concentrating on getting it, and then spoke.

"You're pissed at her."

"Yes!" Ron bellowed, hitting the ball so hard it disintegrated. "I told her we were pushing it too much!"

"And she didn't bother to listen?"

"Why should she…she's Kim Possible… She can do anything." Ron slumped down to the ground, "Including getting Mindscrewed by Shego, screwed by my parents…"

"Ronald… that' s not the only problem." Katz said, "Kim is.. or was, very, very arrogant."

"She…not really, I mean she was…."

"Arrogant, good hearted, self centered, greedy, kind…" Katz paused, "like everyone, impossible to characterize in one sentence, and full of contradictions…" He paused, "Like the way she depended on you, yet sometimes almost seemed ashamed of you, the way she prided herself on doing anything, yet you had to prod her to work a simple blender. Not afraid of death, but terrified of a bad picture." Katz looked at Ron, "Ronald, the single factor that comes out there, is _pride_…and as much as I like Kimberly, and as much as you _love_ her…understand that we are not talking about the good sort of pride either. My colleagues in the protestant church would probably call it akin to Lucifer's pride…the pride that went before his Fall, like it goes before all Falls."

"So that's it?" Ron said, angrily, "Kim has pride issues, so here we are, God decides to punish her by torturing her? By making her try to commit suicide?"

"No." Katz said, "I don't know if God intervenes at all like that. You know that unlike some religions, we do not assume that every story told in the Torah and Talmud are necessarily literally true." He sat down beside Ron.

"Ronald. Kim has enemies… you have enemies. None of us ever believed that Shego would have gone so insanely vicious as she did…or Team Possible would have been shut down long before." He shook his head, "Maybe we should have anyway—I know that both Kim's and your parents are beating themselves over that." He paused "Which is why they reacted as they did."

"If this is trying to get me back with them…"

"No." Rabbi Katz said, "I will not ask that. I asked once, because your parents begged me…and I was _wrong_ to do so. I will only say that if you withhold forgiveness…you may one day regret it." He shook his head, "But they had no right to do that to Kim—no matter how distraught they were, Kim is both your best friend, and someone who would _never_, knowingly allow you to come to harm." He paused, "They cannot demand your forgiveness—that is your gift, to give, or withhold… and it is forgiveness…not coming back because it was… 'no big'."

"I…understand."

"But there is something else, Ronald." Ron looked at Rabbi Katz.

"What?"

"Something happened to Kim…something that she has refused to tell anyone…something that Doctor Peterson and her mother both believe is at the core of many of her psychological problems…yet she will not tell. I can't tell anyone else if you tell me in confidence, but I might be able to…hint."

"I wish I could help you." Ron said, "But I don't remember anything after the last fight, and that was a couple of days before GJ rescued us." He sighed, "And the last conversation I had with Kim…"

"Yes?"

"It was pretty bad… I guess you can tell Dr. Peterson and Dr. Possible about this—I really don't want to talk about it more than once." Katz sighed.

"You and your secrets." Ron gave a small smile.

"Yeah… it's not so much that, Rabbi, it's just that everyone looks horrified and tries to figure out something to say to make it _better_. It won't be better…it happened and nothing can change it, so why freak everyone else out?"

"You're a good man, Ronald Stoppable…but you were going to say?"

"Yeah.. well, Shego had beaten me up…again. This time she had Kim watch from her cage and made jokes to Kim… about me losing my pants and how Kim just have enjoyed the show…right before she took my pants off…and my underpants." Ron's face burned, "Then she made…well, a lot more jokes… Kim cussed her out, finally." He winced, "Big mistake."

"For her?"

"Yeah…but me first." Ron shrugged, "Shego had this big thing about Kim saying she'd won. I mean, she could have killed us the first day…but anyway." He shook his head, "Shego didn't get pissed…she _grinned…_ and then she had two of her goons tie me up to this pole, with my arms, back out behind my back—like you're getting ready to jump into the water?"

"I… I understand. And then she had them hoist you up with your feet against the pole."

"Yeah." Ron blinked, "How did you know?"

"It's a fairly common method of torture…or slow execution, you should know it—it's called crucifixion. Your body is forced into a position that makes it impossible for your to breath properly, so you have to raise yourself with your legs…eventually, the lungs collapse and…death occurs." Ron looked slightly pale at the memory, "But that didn't happen in your case."

"No." Ron said, "She let Kim out….told her I'd die... Unless she could keep me up." He closed his eyes, "Then she made some jokes about Kim with her face in my crotch and left."

"And what?"

"Nothing… Kim was trying to hold me up…but she'd been beaten so _badly_, Rabbi… you could see her ribs, I don't think there was a single part of her that wasn't' bruised, and she hadn't eaten any more than me. She held me up… but Shego didn't come back for…." He fell silent .

"Ronald?"

"I don't know." Ron said, "It could have been hours… or minutes… I don't know. Sometimes I thought we'd been there for a few days…and sometimes, and I'm not kidding you, I thought years had passed." He shook his head, "But Kim couldn't keep it up… she was trying but I kept slipping and she started losing her grip and then her legs started to give out, and every time I slipped down, _I_ screamed, as if she didn't have enough problems, and then she started crying that she couldn't hold it, so she bit her lip so hard blood was dripping down it."

"And then?" Rabbi Katz said, a little pale.

"Kim wanted to give. She promised me she'd tell Shego she'd won."

"Why didn't she?"

"I told her not to… I mean, _duh_, what do you think Shego would have done then? Sent us on our way with some candy bars? We'd have been dead, dead, dead…."

"So what happened then?"

"Shego came back in—I guess she'd been watching us on TV or something…but she came back in a few minutes after Kim had collapsed. They cut me down and made a joke about evidently my, ah…attributes weren't impressive enough for Kim to want to keep me around." Ron's hand clenched empty air. "Then they took us back to our cages. Kim wasn't saying anything…she was just crying…" He shrugged, "But there was a part of the cage where you could reach through, so I held her hand until she went to sleep… or what passes for sleep when you're in a place like that." He shook himself back to the present.

"Hey, Rabbi…you can tell the two doctors that…but mind if we just play? That's the kinda memory that I really don't like to go through even once."

"I agree Ronald…and thank you for your trust."

"Trust? I'm just getting you ready for the crushing defeat I'm about to hand you!" Rabbit Katz nodded.

_And What defeat was handed Kim? Do you not know, or are you keeping a friend's confidence, Ronald?_

To be continued.


	7. Girls night out

_Girls night out.

* * *

_

"OK… so Brick…he decides to get me a anniversary gift."

"That's cool…"

"No, that's lame." Bonnie said, "Brick also wanted new tires for his car…so…"

"Get _out!_" Monique said. Bonnie shook her head.

"Nope.. I got four custom made radials for our anniversary."

"What did you do?"

"Got some whipped cream and mentioned since Brick liked them so much, here was some topping."

"You were going to put it on his cake?" Bonnie got a lascivious grin on her face.

"Well…among other things."

There was a knock on the door, and Shelly went to answer it, and came back with Zita.

"Hey guys," The Puerto Rican girl said, "Sorry I'm late—the manager had me cover Tony's shift."

"What happened to Tony?" Monique asked.

"Got caught peeking at the swimming pool." Zita said.

"Ouch…he survived?" Shelly asked.

"Sort of… but he's still in hiding."

With that, they got to the serious matter of the day, as various DVD's were presented for watching by the pajama clad girls, including films that none of them would have _ever_ admitted watching to their boyfriends…or films that the various boyfriends were no doubt thanking God that they wouldn't have to go see with them right now.

But then, of course, came the truly important matters…the Discussion Of The Boyfriends. Zita was currently between friends, although Ron was trying to set her up with some boy that Shelly had never heard of.

"Him?" Monique asked in disbelief. "Didn't he try and trap you both in virtual reality?"

"Yeah, But Ron says everybody does dumb things on their first date."

"I had to become a pixie to rescue you both." Kim said, as Shelly blinked at her.

"Yeah…but maybe, I mean if he loses that "I am the greatest" attitude." Zita said.

"Isn't he in jail?" Shelly said, still trying to process "'trapping in virtual reality' with 'date material'. "

"Nah. No law against it." Zita said. Shelly shook her head.

"Well, _my_ boyfriend is normal." Bonnie said.

"If getting you steel belted tires counts as normal…" Kim said, and squawked as Bonnie threw a pillow at her.

"I didn't say he was smart… besides, I think now that he knows the mistake he made, he'll be very… eager to make me happy." Bonnie said. "Of course… _everyone_ should be eager to make me hap-AWK!" Now everyone else threw a pillow at _Bonnie._

"What about you, Monique?" Bonnie asked, "How is _Felix?_"

"Very good…" Monique said, "And he's not paralyzed everywhere below the waist."

"Too much information!" Kim sing-songed.

"What?" Monique replied, in mock shock. "Kimberly Ann Possible… are you thinking I'm referring to _that?_ Get your mind out of the gutter!"

"Why? Is it crowded down there with you?" Zita asked Monique, an evil grin on her face.

"Yes. The wheelchair is fairly big." Monique said with a grin. "And Felix is the only guy at school who took me flying…" Zita opened her mouth, Monique raised a pillow in warning.

"What about you, Shelly?" Kim asked. "Any past boyfriends?"

"Nah… I just never clicked with anyone."

"_Never?"_

"Never…." Bonnie frowned, looking over her apartment, eyes stopping on the crucifix, by the door.

"That's old…"

"My mom's." Shelly said, "We're Catholic."

"Hey, me too!" Zita said, "You go to church?"

"Yeah." Shelly said, "I checked the cheerleading schedule, and no games are on Sunday, so I could join."

"Wow…you're serious." Bonnie said.

"Well, like mom used to say, one day out of the week isn't much, given everything that was done. I mean I used to argue, but after Mom died… well…" She shook her head. _Great way to bring a party down, idiot._ "And in any case, fish fry's can be pretty fun!" She looked over at Kim.

"Now, Kim… what about _your_ boyfriend…what about…_Ron?_"

* * *

"So Margaret," Cindy said, "Kim's with her friends?" Kim's mother smiled, putting down her coffee at the diner.

"Yes… and I'm here because husbands don't put their wives on the couch…they just frown and read a paper"." She sighed, "Jonathon would put Kim in a hermetically sealed test tube if he could."

"How is he doing?" Kim's mother sighed. "Upset, angry…helpless." She paused, "Pretty much the standard series of emotions for something like this."

"And you?"

"Same thing, which I've seen with more patients than I care to remember…and it doesn't make it any easier now that it's happening to _my _daughter." Cindy nodded.

"Remember, Margaret… you have a hospital councilor if you need him."

"What… I thought my old college friend would provide that."

"I'm too close to Kim…and I figure that instead of professional services, I could just give you a shoulder to cry on if you need it."

"Oh, I've needed it." Possible said, and her eyes were shadowed. "And thank you." She thought about Kim's room…and the fact that they'd taken her door off the hinges. And the fact Kim wasn't allowed to be alone in the bathroom, unless she told her parents.

"Rabbi Katz is speaking to Ron tonight… I'm hoping that Ron will let him talk to me about Kim." Cindy paused, "She's not…or can't, talking about everything that happened and it's…at the core of her difficulties." Margaret sighed.

"I know." She said, "After Ron's parents refused to let her see him, and she tried to kill herself…"

"And how do you feel about that?"

"I don't know." Margaret said, "If positions had been reversed, I might have done the same thing…but I still can't stop being furious with them."

"No more than Ron."

"I know…but Cindy… what about Ron?" Cindy looked at her old friend, and sighed. Margaret had no legal right to speak with her about Ron…but on the other hand, neither did his parents, right now. She could tell her a little.

"He's doing much better than Kim." Cindy paused, "His buffoon act concealed a very stable personality—he…" She grinned, "He wasn't afraid of being made to look silly, and well, humor, real humor is a powerful weapon against what happened to him. It's _hard_ to break someone through humiliation when they're like that—they're more likely to laugh at you, and themselves, and get on with life." She shrugged, "His injuries, were terrible, but they also don't force him to change in the way _Kim's _forced her to change."

"The Devil, that proud spirit, cannot stand to be mocked." Margaret quoted. Cindy nodded.

"And that sort of pride game is one that Ron isn't playing." She sighed, "Kim is…" She paused, "Ron has been up front with most of what happened—some of it, I asked Rabbi Katz to ask about, simply because as a male…there as some things I don't doubt he'd prefer not to confide in me—but he's been quite open about his feelings to me, which is why I've been happy to see him and Kim together— He's a great help to her."

"He's her lifeline." Kim's mother corrected.

"Yes…" Cindy said. "Kim's… Margaret, let me be honest. We, and I mean all of us…" She sighed.

"Let the Team Possible thing go on for too long?"

"That…and well, Kim is… her entire self image is bound up in this incredible, _impossible_ standard she's set herself. For all that Ron jokes as her sidekick, I think I've seen some real envy on her part about Ron… because he doesn't try to be perfect, to make this race with some impossible to catch finish line." She shrugged, "This thing with Shego was horrible, but honestly, I wonder if something of the sort might have happened eventually. Your daughter made no allowances for failure, and was pretty damned proud of that." Margaret nodded.

"Ron's bamboo, Kim's oak—one bends, the other shatters and falls." She paused, "And your prognosis?"

"Until she reveals what she's been hiding… I really can't do anything else, Margaret.

* * *

"Ron's my friend."

"Ron's more than that." Bonnie said, annoyance in her voice. "He stuck with you, Kim…more than Brick would have me."

"I know…but he needs someone who… well… can…"

"Walk?" Monique said, "You mean like Felix can walk?" Kim reddened.

"No…" Kim said, "Someone who…isn't scared all the time." She looked down at her long sleeved pajama's, scars invisible, but all too present. Then she looked up and grinned, "Besides… maybe… I'm just giving him some room until I swoop in and get him." Everyone else accepted the lie, and moved on to other subjects, this one being the teachers of the school.

The next morning, it was time for everyone to leave. Shelly was happy—the night had gone well, and her new friends were… friends. Even Bonnie. The first three washed up early, and then it was Kim's turn.

Kim bathed last, so that the others wouldn't have to wait and surprisingly for Shelly, asked her to help her in and out of the bath.

"Monique's had to do it before…so I thought I'd give her a break." Kim said. Shelly nodded, and helped Kim up and out, holding her under her arms, feeling Kim's legs tremble. Kim looked…well, pretty much like any naked girl Shelly had ever seen. Pale skin, red hair…

And right at the base of her back, three parallel scars, starting just above her waist and ending at the top of her opposite buttock, slashed across her spine. There were other, newer scars, as well. Kim evidently noticed Shelly's glance.

"The big one was Shego…the others are just the doctors operations." Kim looked down at her chest and grumped.

"And now because I'm not exercising enough, I'm getting bigger…which would be cool, except I bet I'll get bigger everywhere, so I'll look like some kind of hippopotamus."

"Don't do that." Shelly said, "Remember, the mascot is a maddog."

"Hmph…" Kim said, and grinned. "Thanks for the party, Shelly… it's…been a while." Than it was time to get Kim dressed, and Shelly helped her out the front door, where the other three were talking with Kim's mom and Ron.

"Mom?"

"Hey, Kimmie." Margaret said, "I thought I'd drop by and say hi—Ron's agreed to take you to physical therapy today, and I have to go take the Twins to the mall."

"To shop?"

"To apologize…remember those animatronic Santas?"

"Yes…." Kim said.

"So did the twins."

"Oh." Kim blinked, "Hey, isn't that the first mad scientist thing they've done since…"

"Yes, but I still have to make the appropriate noises…and payments." Her mother sighed on the last one.

"What?" Ron said, "You don't want to ride with me? It's been days…well, hours since I hit anything, and that fireplug shouldn't have been there!" Kim giggled.

"OK… I'll go." She said, but there was some undefinable emotion in her eyes Shelly couldn't place.

"Well, I have to clean up." Shelly said, "Bonnie, see you at practice this evening?"

"You'd _better_ see me there…" Bonnie threatened on the way to her car. Unfortunately, her tone was ruined by her smile. Zita and Monique were heading off to get Felix, and Ron and Kim were in his van. Kim's mother waited and waved as the two drove off and then turned to Shelly.

"Thank you, Shelly." She said, "It's been a while since Kim… got out like that."

"It's OK." Shelly said, "Kim's really nice." Her mother nodded.

"Yes…but thank you again." She paused, "Sometimes, you, Ron and Bonnie are the only ones who can deal with _Kim_ without being torn up by what happened." She smiled, "Well, I'm off to get the twins…if you ever want to come over, Shelly, the door is always open."

Shelly grinned as she went back to her apartment. That had been fun.

_Yeah. Fun._ Shelly stopped dead. What was that? She was alone…but… there was something by the window. Shelly snuck up to it…and then whipped the curtain aside.

"Who are yo—EEEK!" She screamed, and the black haired apparition that was standing before her, green fire filling her hands.

_To be continued._


	8. Doubt

_Doubt

* * *

_

"OK… just a few more steps, Kimberly?" Dr. Peterson stood to the side, where Kim was standing, legs trembling and face pale, her heands holding onto the twin bars by her side. Behind her, Ron stood.

"OK." Kim said, and slowly, took her hands away from the bars. Ron tensed, his hands ready to grab, but Kim stayed upright. Kim bit her lip, and stepped forward. One. Two.

Three… She let out a tiny gasp of pain, but her hands stayed away from the bars.

Four…. Her lip held between her teeth Kim slowly walked forward.

Five—Kim's legs gave out and she started to fall, missing the bars, but Ron was there, his hands under her arms, holding her up, keeping her from falling.

"Damn!" Kim swore. Ron without missing a beat spoke up.

"KP… how many steps could you take a month ago?"

"None." Kim said, "But that doesn't make it any better."

"No, but Ron is correct." Cindy said. "Your rate of improvement—when you don't try and force it, is very good." She paused, "Your swimming shows that you are redeveloping the strength in your legs and control…and how do you feel?" Ron was letting Kim down into her chair, gently.

"Horrible." Kim said, "My back is killing me."

"To be expected." Cindy replied, "The damage to your back, and the fracturing of the lower vertebra… was severe."

"Tell me about it." Kim said, sighing as she took the pressure off. Cindy saw her legs were trembling, even now that the weight was off of them.

"Ron… do we have to go to thepractice tonight?"

"No." Ron said, "We could stay in and catch a flick."

"OK…" Kim said.

"Why not?" Cindy asked.

"I just…" Kim paused, "I just don't want to see the cheerleaders."

"Because you should be down there?"

"Yes." Kim said. Cindy nodded, and looked up at the door as it opened, and Kim's mom came walking in.

"Well, the Twins are settled." She said. "Thank you Ron."

"No problem, Mrs. P." Ron said, grinning.

"Good." Kim's mother said. "Kim…" She paused, "I'm here for another reason."

"Oh?" Kim asked, face setting in a frown. Than she blinked. "Look mom, I know Dr. Peterson's been talking to you…and nothing happened. Nothing!"

"Methinks thou doth protest too much." Cindy said. "But you could be right. That's why we're here." She shrugged, "Just one thing…and you don't have to talk to us about it again…ever."

"_Finally."_Kim said, "OK, what do I have to do."

"Tell _Ron, _nothing happened." Kim turned pale.

* * *

"Go Maddogs, Go Maddogs Go Maddogs!" The practice broke up into cheers and whistles as they finished. Bonnie looked around, frowned, and finally pronounced herself satisfied.

"Well…it'll do… don't forget, the big day is only four days from now!" The other cheerleaders nodded and left, laughing and chatting…except for Shelly.

"I thought Kim was going to be here," She said to Felix and Monique. The two shook her head.

"Kim does therapy on Saturday…and sometimes she's…not in a real good mood to watch…this." Monique said, gesturing at the gym and Shelly's cheerleading gear. Monique blinked. Shelly looked oddly pale. Her hands were occupied by a rosary, fingers running over the beads.

"Shelly…what's wrong?" Felix asked. He caught it too.

"What happened to Shego." Shelly asked.

"Shego?" Monique nearly spat, "Why would you want to know about her?"

"because… just humor me, OK?"

"OK… Shego died. After what she did to Kim…well." Monique got a vicious smile on her face, "She found out that Kim had a _lot_ of friends."

"That's the truth." Felix added, "FSB, MI-5, CIA…" He shrugged, "They weren't going for a capture, either…every hide out, every bank account…gone." He paused, "even some of the bad guys were going after her."

"So?"

"So they cornered her at a hide out in Rome, and the place went up like a bomb."

"So nobody saw her body?"

"No, but they did find more than enough blood and scraps of flesh." Felix said, "They even called mom in to send robots in…she's _dead_ Shelly." He paused, "Why?"

"No-nothing." Shelly said. _Shego looking at her, and then Shelly on her butt in her empty room…_

"She died too damned _fast,"_ Monique said, angrily. "I think she should have suffered…"

"That's what-" Monique glared at the rosary.

"Sorry, Shelly…don't take this wrong, but why should I trust God to take care of Shego if He didn't take care of Kim or Ron?" Shelly didn't have any answer to that. Monique looked at the emptying room.

"The good guys are supposed to _win."_ She said, and closed her eyes.

* * *

"_Kim? What are you doing here?" Monique asked. "Shouldn't you be at home?" She'd seen Kim yesterday. When Ron's parents had thrown her out of the hospital. She didn't look any better now, pale and small in the wheelchair. _

_"I'm…I'm um…" Kim had been crying all night, Monique could see and Zita and Bonnie were looking equally shocked at her appearance. "Nothing." She said, "It's…it's been really great knowing you all." She quietly said, putting a piece of paper down on the table. The three girls looked at each other. What was Kim talking about? _

_"I… I have to go to the bathroom…" Kim continued, and wheeled herself to the bathroom, sobbing once or twice. There was a growing silence in the lunch room. _

_"What was that about?" Zita asked. Bonnie picked up the paper._

_"Bonnie, shouldn't you wait for Kim?"_

_"No." Bonnie said and opened it up. It was an official looking document, with seals and notes._

_"It's…" Bonnie said, "It's a court order… remain no closer than 100 feet at all times…no telephone or mail communications…no attempt to make contact in any way…" She blinked. "This is a court order to keep Kim from talking to Ron… it even says' she can't take the same classes he does or talk to him at school…" She continued, "due to demonstrated danger…" _

_"Why did she come here for that?" Zita asked. Monique got a sudden terrible feeling in her gut and got up._

_"C'mon guys." She said, and started heading towards the bathroom…the bathroom where there was a sudden sound of breaking glass…and then a freshman running out of it, screaming hysterically. Monique ran, now, and skidded to a halt…suddenly frozen, even as her brain gibbered she had to do something._

_Kim was there, seated in the wheelchair…one hand a bloody mess as she finished dragging the shattered glass across her wrist, before changing over to her other hand, and repeating the process. Blood was gouting _everywhere_, as Kim looked up at the three girls, frozen with horror. _

_"They're right." She said, "I'm dangerous to Ron…don't stop me Monique, I'm dangerous to everyone. This is the right thing to do." Monique was unfrozen and she and Zita charged the girl, while Bonnie screamed into the lunch room for someone to call 911.

* * *

_

"Monique?" Felix asked.

"I'm sorry." Monique said, "But it just wasn't _right_. Mr. Barkin… she shook her head and put a hand to her head. "He was the first one in—Zita and I were holding her wrists, but there was so _much_ blood, and then he came in."

"I was just coming in to the lunch room." Felix said, nodding, "I never thought Mr. B could move like that—he wasn't jumping one table…he was clearing two at a time." Felix shrugged, "and then Bonnie was telling everyone else to get the F-" He cut of the explicative, with an apologetic glance, "out of there, that they didn't need any sight seers."

"Yeah…" Monique said, "You missed Mr. B singing a lullaby."

"_What?_" She smiled tiredly, tears in her eyes at the memory.

"Yeah… Me 'an Zita used the towels to cover her wrists and were holding on to them, but Mr. B had the Lunch lady bring over the first aid kit and he wrapped them up in bandages… Kim…" She sighed, "Kim was asking him to let her die, so Ron would be safe. He just picked her up and held her against him… and I swear to God, started to sing. It was Welsh, or something, I guess, but it seemed to calm Kim down, until the paramedics arrived."

Shelly looked down at her hands, the Rosary in them.

_God, why **didn't** you help them?_ That would be a question she'd have to ask one day, when the priest had a few days to spend explaining it.

"So why are you curious about Shego?" Felix asked.

"Just…" _Malice filled green eyes peering into hers._ "Nothing, I was just wondering, that's all."

"Oh." Monique said.

_To be continued._


	9. Love and Hate

Love and Hate

* * *

"Well Kim?" Cindy said. Kim shook her head mutely. Kim's mother sighed.

"Kim… we don't' mean to hurt you, but Cindy is right… you can't…move on until you…" Kim, lips pressed together shook her head again, in mute refusal. Ron looked at her through his one good eye.

"How about if you tell _me_, KP." He said. Now Kim looked panicked. She shook her head again, and this time a tiny moan escaped her.

"KP?"

"I can't…" Kim said, in a tiny voice, "You'll hate me… you'll see that your mom and dad were right…" Ron's face paled with anger, but not at Kim.

"So that's part of it, isn't it Kim." He said, "Kim, they were stupid..."  
"No…. Shego said that would happen…that I'd wreck your family, and it came true…it _did!" _Ron closed his eye and sighed. Cindy and Margaret waited and then, just as they were about to speak, Ron looked at Kim and spoke.

"KP… if you will tell me… I'll….try to get back together with mom and dad. No promises. But I will try."

"Will you…you try and forgive me?" Kim asked him, sounding about five years old.

"What?" Ron said, "Of course… Kim, there's nothing you could do to…"

"Yes there is…" Kim said, "I'm… it's a lie, Ron… I'm not… I'm just a coward…a little girl who played at being brave…that's what happened." She shuddered. "I'll tell…. And then…you'll understand." She looked up at her mother, "You too mom… and you'll hate me as well." Margaret started to say something, but a look from Cindy silenced her.

"It was…" Kim shuddered. "When Shego beat me last." Margaret looked at Cindy—Kim had told Cindy, but Cindy had refused to tell her mother—and Margaret understood the oaths that bound her.

"She… she…." Kim squeezed her eyes shut, "She took me out and tied Ron up and told me that if I could beat her, he could go…you remember Ron, right?"

"Yeah, KP…"

"I tried… I _tried…_" Kim said, "But I was so tired and weak…and Shego just _laughed, _and kicked me around and then she started pulling my clothes off…and she kept laughing…" Kim was hunched over, trying to shield herself from something nobody else could see. "And she kept making jokes about me…and I couldn't stop her…she hit me in the muscles, in the pain points…and then she kicked my legs out from under me and said that I wasn't interested enough in saving Ron, so she'd just save me the trouble of getting him killed myself and do him now." Kim didn't say anything, as Ron put on hand lightly on her shoulder.

"And then I managed to hit her from behind…I was crazy, I was screaming and I don't remember what…and then Shego was screaming back at me that no skanky bitch was going to make her a laughing stock…and she threw me across the room and kicked me and it _hurt_…" Kim was hyperventilating… and Cindy shuddered…she had heard this before and Ron had seen it, but Kim's mother was the color of new milk. Kim waited a moment and then calmed down…slightly.

"And then she pushed me down and all I had on were my panties, and she used her claws to slice my back and that hurt worse than anything else, and I screamed…but Shego said she was going to fix that pretty face of mine so that nobody would ever look at me again…and I was screaming and she was screaming and then Ron..Ron…." Kim put her face in her hands, unable to continue. Cindy looked at Ron. The disfigured teen was patting Kim on the back, his face pale, but controlled. He looked at the two adults.

"You know, if you're pissed enough you can pull your hands through cuffs?" Ron said. "Maybe I was skinnier—or maybe Shego had misjudged but I only lost a bunch of skin, and no broken bones…" He paused, "And then I got medieval on her god-damned ass." He shrugged, "Too bad it didn't work out like I hoped it would."

"But it _did_…" Kim said. "It _would _have, if not for me…" She looked at her mother, "Mom, you have to understand, Ron was _winning…_, he was beating her, and then she leaped over to me and grabbed me and put her hands to my neck and she said if Ron didn't… if Ron didn't…"

"Give?" Kim nodded.

"He did…he did because of me, because I was just blubbering, and then Shego had a ch-cha-chance to get her breath back and she jumped on him and she was screaming about him… and she just kept hitting you Ron, and hitting and hitting and _hitting_," Kim's voice started to scale up into hysteria. Cindy patted her pocket, confirming that the syringe was there if needed.

"And then she put her hands to your face, and called her fire and dragged her hands down and I could smell your skin burning and you screamed and passed out an-an-an…." Kim started sobbing, uncontrollably. Her mother came and hugged her in the chair, kneeling by her. Ron's hand on her other shoulder, and Rufus crooning in her ear. They waited, two children and two adults in a room…alone except for the ghosts of Kim's memories, watching from every shadow.

"I don't remember anything else Kim…" Ron said softly, "So what happened than?" Kim shook her head, and refused to take it out from where she had buried it in her mothers arms.

"Kimmie." Her mother said, calmly, in her doctors voice, while tears crawled down her cheeks into her daughters hair. "Do you trust me." A tiny shudder went through Kim's body, but she nodded. "Then tell us… this is killing you, it's eating you alive…and the only way to stop that is to let it out. Nobody else will ever know…not your friends, not your father, not your brothers…but…" her mother paused, as Kim shook her head.

"Kim." Ron said, and suddenly there was a tone in his voice that pulled Kim's head around, to where she was looking at Ron. Cindy looked up at Ron, as did Kim's mother. The tone was…certainty… like Ron had been working through something and had finally came to a decision.

"What?"

"Rabbi Katz and I were talking…. And I think I understand now." He looked at her quietly, "You're ashamed….afraid that we'll think you _should_ be ashamed if you tell us…right?" Kim nodded. Ron sighed, "Kim… that's your Kimness…that's your Kimness trying to _kill_ you. Tell us. Tell us what happened. I promise, there is nothing…_nothing_ you can do that will make me ashamed of you… if you've ever, _ever_ believed anything I've said, believe this." He leaned down and kissed Kim on her cheek. "But this is too much for you to keep inside…it's too heavy for you to carry. Let us help. Please." Kim looked at Cindy and her mother, and they both nodded. Kim's hands sought Ron's, fragile, wounded animals, pale against his fingers, as Ron took them in his and knelt before Kim.

"I…you weren't talking…you weren't moving…" Kim said, in a far away voice, "I thought…I thought you were dying… My legs didn't work and Shego was laughing, but I crawled over to you… and I tried to hold you, to protect you, but Shego laughed and asked me what did I think I was doing… and I couldn't say anything because I was crying and she kicked me in my back and I screamed, and b-begged her to stop…to not hurt me anymore." Kim didn't say anything for a moment…

"And then she laughed and told me Ron was dying…but then I'd always used him as the decoy, so nobig… So… So…. So I waited until GJ showed up."

"No." Ron said, "You didn't. What happened, Kim…"

"I…I waited…." Kim said, desperately…"That's all!" Ron's eye held hers…and Kim gave a tiny nod. Then she started to struggle…it was horrible, watching her trying to form the words, but something seemed to happen and they came out strangled, garbled.

"I…b…b…" When it did come out it was in a scream, shockingly loud.

"I GAVE! I TOLD HER SHE WON, I…I… ASKED HER TO LET US GO, I PROMISED I'D NEVER GET IN HER WAY AGAIN, THAT I'D BE A GOOD GIRL, IF ONLY SHE'D LEAVE ME ALONE!" Then, like the strings were cut Kim sagged back down and her voice came, terribly soft. "Then she locked you and me up, Ron and she said she was going to close the door, and nobody would ever find us…but that you…you were a big kid so I'd have enough-enou-" Kim started giggling, voice scaling up again until Ron put his hand on her shoulder, and she continued, "food for a while…and that little girls like me shouldn't get in her way…since I was just a little girl…" Her voice trailed off and then came back, "And I am…because I did what she wanted…everything you did for me Ron… you got hurt so badly…and it was all for nothing because I was a coward…."

"And you believe her." Ron said. He shook his head, and his voice was harsh. "Kimberly Ann Possible… don't be an _idiot!_" Ron said, and his last word was loud. Kim looked at him.

"So you lost… well guess what, put someone in a room for three weeks and starve them and beat them and guess what…they'll lose." He sighed, "I'm not ashamed of you Kim… you tried, you tried your best… are you ashamed of me?"

"No…" Kim said, in a thready voice.

"Good." Ron said, "Because Shego _lies,_ Kim… you never used me as a decoy, because I could never see myself anywhere but your side…win or lose." Then Ron was down on one knee in front of Kim's wheelchair.

"The only thing I'm angry about…" He said and Kim looked at him in terror, but Ron continued. "is that you didn't think I could help you carry this…never do that again." Kim looked at Ron, at her mother, at Cindy…and then slowly her face crumpled, her shoulders started to shake as deep, tearing sobs shook her body. Even while Cindy was dabbing her eyes she nodded approvingly. Not all tears were bad…and this was months of self hate and fear coming out, as Ron and Kim's mother knelt by the sobbing teen, comforting her.

* * *

Shelly walked around her room like a caged animal. What was wrong with her? All the way back from the practice it was like there was a green and black form…always lurking in her periphery…never quite seen, but always present. She held her rosary in desperation.

_What's happening? Why am I seeing this?_ Shelly moaned and finally nodded. It was almost 8 PM….she could go out and catch a movie…right after she got dressed and ready. Maybe she could call Felix and Monique.

Walking into her bathroom she looked down at the sink, and looked up.

And screamed. In the mirror was Shego…and the smile on her face was satanic.

_Hi Shelly… Guess what? It's time._

"Shut up! You're not real! Go away!" Shelly screamed smashing the glass with one hand…and then she shrieked even louder…. Her hand hadn't been hurt by the glass…because of green fire that wreathed it. Shelly staggered back out of the room trying to put her hand out.

_Oh, that's not how you do it… but then you didn't know how to control it then either…_ The specter was now following her…Shego…standing in her room…and suddenly the shadows seemed to grow. Shelly frantically ran for the door, but Shego was there too.

_Running? Oh no…You can't run from me… _Shelly finally struck out, screaming in hysteria…and when her hand's touched "Shego", the mercenaries body seemed to vanish…to flow, to cover Shelly.

Then the room was normal…and Shelly seemed to shake herself. The only things damaged were the mirror and a few items knocked off of the shelves. Shelly grinned…a malicious, hateful smile and walked over to the crucifix.

"You know…I didn't expect you to buy into that _again_." Shelly said, and pulled it off of the wall and crushed it under her foot. "Oh don't be a baby…it wasn't your mother's, it was 4.95 at a swap meet." A cold laugh came from her throat. "I'd flush that stupid rosary, but… I think I'll leave it with Zita…yeah… Zita. That way mommy will know she said her Hail Mary's before she died." A pause, "And then Felix and his little friend…"

"Why?" Shelly said, "Because I can…and you can stop blubbering…it won't help…and maybe if you do stop…I'll kill them quickly." She paused and her face became vicious. "That bitch was supposed to kill herself…but now this may work out better… I'll take everything else. If that Stoppable bastard wasn't enough, I'll pile up all her friends…and remind dear _Kimmie_ that this is all her fault…this is _her_ fault…and watch her cry and wail…and maybe I'll kill her then…or maybe leave her alive." She crossed to the bathroom and pulled an unused tube of lipstick out.

"Lip Gloss… could you be any more idiotic." Shelly said, and looked in one of the remaining shards of the mirror. A moment later and she'd used the lipstick and smacked her lips, now black against her face. "I wish I could do the whole show…but I guess the rest comes with age." She said, concentrating on one fist, watching as the fire grew around it…but flickering, uncertain. "Still, I don't need to be full to take out a bunch of teens, a one eyed Jew and the amazing Gimp-Girl…now do I?" She laughed, "But first, you had a good idea… a movie!" Shelly smiled and dressed, not bothering to lock the door as she left the room. She was humming a cheerful tune...

But it couldn't drown out the sound of Shelly screaming in her mind.

_To be continued._


	10. Waiting in Purgatory

Waiting in Purgatory

_

* * *

_

_Why are you doing this!_ Shelly wailed, from hell.

That was the only way to describe it, walking down the street, saying 'hi' to other kids from school…while inside Shelly tried to warn them, tried to make the body she was now a passenger in do something to warn them that they should run, they should get help.

_Because I can…__ Now shut up._

_No!_

_No?_ Shego said, and smiled, both inside and outside, causing an older man to involuntarily flinch away. No child should have that malevolent look on her face.

_Shall I punish you…shall I show you something?_

_What? _Shego paused, and dredged back into her memories. They were strangely fuzzy, but still good enough.

* * *

_Ron wasn't talking any more, not after the last beating. Kim wasn't talking, or demanding much…just moaning, in mortal fear and pain. _

_It was easier to see where Kim wasn't bruised than where she was. Her body was covered with, filth, bruises, burns and welts, she was nude save for her panties. Blood crusted over her lower back._

_"Please Shego…please, please, please…" Kim whimpered, "I think Ron is dying." Her teammate was cradled in her arms, where Kim had managed to crawl to him, trying to shield him, as hopeless as she had to know it was. One side of his face was puffy, covered with blood, flowing both from his scalp and swollen eye, terrible wounds down the side of his face, even as weakening breath rasped from his shattered mouth. Kim's own legs weren't working anymore laying straight out from her body like dead things. _

_"Oh… you know what you have to say for the camera." The voice had to be Shego's, Shelly could tell from the hating inflection. She wanted to scream at Kim to keep defying her, to stand for just one moment more… But Kim had nothing left. _

_"I-I'm a silly little girl…I…you win." Kim said, hiccupping. _

_"I don't think you really mean it." Shego said. Kim was sobbing. _

_"I..I…you WON SHEGO, PLEASE, I'LL DO ANYTHING, I'LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING, JUST PLEASE HELP RON!" Tears were pouring down her cheeks as she held Ron to her. "You win…you win Shego…please… don't hurt us any more…I'll go away… I'll quit, I'll never get in your way again." Shelly strangely enough, knew what was coming next. She wanted to close her eyes, but she couldn't. Then there was Shego's voice again. _

_"Awwww…how cute." Shego turned to leave._

_"Shego…where are you going?"_

_"I'm finished here… Kimmie… you proved to have the marshmallow center I knew you did…"_

_"But…**Ron!"**_

_"Yes…Ron…" Shego gave a giggle and Shelly's skin crawled at the sound. "You know…he's still sort of alive, so if you eat him, you'll probably last a lot longer…since nobody's coming back."_

_"Shego! No, please! Please, I give, I'll do anything!"_

_"Donner…party of, ah…two." Shego said, and laughed as she closed the heavy door behind her. The lights went out. _

_Shelly didn't know how much time had gone by, but then there was light…only this was odd, it looked like she was seeing it from a TV screen, as the door hinges turned red, sagged, melted. Than, Global Justice agents were in the room. Kim hadn't moved, and was just still rocking the unconscious Ron. _

_"She's over here! They're over here! "_

_Kim didn't say anything, just desperately tried to shield Ron from anyone else, as her face… Shelly had never seen anything like that. When the agents tried to pull him away, Kim moaned and held him tighter, trying to keep them from grabbing him, trying to shield him. Then there were two female paramedics by her, talking to her in low, soothing voices._

_"C'mon Kim… you have to let him go… we can't help him if you won't let him go."_

_When Kim finally let Ron go, she just curled up…sobbing hopelessly. The only words the audible from her were "She was right."

* * *

_

The girl continued walking, smiling at Brick as Shego considered what he'd look like dead. Shelly wailed inside.

_How could you do that?_

_Because I could… and because Kim deserved it._

_Deserved it?_

_For getting in my way, for being a 'hero', little bitch. _Shelly didn't say anything for moments.

_You hate her. Why?_

_I don' t need to talk to you… _Shego said.

_I'm not going away._

_Yes, you are…what do you think you are, Shelly? Let me tell you. I knew that GJ would be looking for me…maybe I should have killed her off, or rigged a trap, but I wanted Kimmies mommy and daddy to see her. Ronnies parents freaking was just the icing on the cake… because well, having Kimmie trying to kill herself... and then failing at even that.. _Shego burst into soundless laughter, literally hugging her body in glee. Shelly felt sick. Then Shego continued.

_But I still had to hide…and so Dr. Drakken had that Juvinator of his…and when I retired, I took it. He couldn't use it for very long, but my comet powers let me survive, no matter how long…so a few implanted memories, like a false name, and I was Scott free. _

_A few memories?_

_I used my own memories, back from when I was young and stupid…_

_Than I'm…you?_

_No bitch, haven't you been listening? You're not anything. You're just a fake…just a little camoflauge I set up. I laughed at that crucifix because not only was it stupid—and I can't believe I ever bought into that, but you don't have a soul.. you're **not** real!_

_Than why am I here?_

_Because you don't have the good sense to vanish…but don't worry, I'll show you more than you ever wanted to see… do you know that Kimmie licked up water like a dog, from the floor? Do you want to see that? _Without waiting, Shego showed Shelly it, and laughed at the strangled cry in her head.

_But don't worry, I won't kill Kimmie this time… I'm just going to kill her friends, little Ronnicans, maybe even her mom and dad and her twins…or maybe I'll just screw them up so bad they'll spend the rest of their lives hooked up to a machine…and I'll let everyone know that their precious **Kim Possible**__is the reason why._ A mad giggle sounded, this time both in her head and for real, _Hey__, that's even better—If Kimmie checks out, her last memory will be of a failure…if she doesn't her entire life will be reminding her of it. Cool. That will pay her back- Then_ Shelly saw it.

_He fired you. Drakken fired you… **this** is for that?_

_Do you want me to punish you again, Shelly? Yes, the bastard fired me…everyone laughing, laughing at me. Can't beat a little kid. I showed them, I showed them all…took their little princess and broke her… they're not laughing at me now, are they?_

_Why would they waste the effort? You're pathetic. _Shego's response to that was a wave of images, of crushing force, of hatred…when it relaxed, Shelly 'heard' herself whimpering.

_Anymore smart comments, little imaginary bitch?_ Shego ignored Shelly while she walked along the sidewalk, thinking about how best to get Zita…and then she could get Felix and Monique…now where should she have the meeting…

Shelly was thinking. _Not real…not real… _Her mind gibbered. She wasn't even a real person, with a soul…just a copy…just something that had nothing to hope for.

Nothing to lose.

Shego couldn't know about Ron and Kim's special place. Shelly desperately tried not to think of it. Not to see it in her minds eye…. But Shego saw it, and compressing Shelly's mind until she thought she'd die, Shego saw it.

_The falls, eh?__ What a sweet place…won't it be nice to add some new memories to it?_

_No! Don't you dare!_

_Shut up. You're just along for the ride. Sucks not being able to close your eyes…doesn't it. _Shego started humming…and she was concentrating so much on her victory that she didn't notice the flare of triumph from Shelly's mind.

* * *

Back at the clinic, Kim and Ron were sitting in the room, embracing. Ron had picked Kim up and put her on the couch next to him and they hadn't stopped hugging since. Cindy and Kim's mother had retreated to give them some space…maybe because Kim's mother had also gone completely hysterical after her daughter had calmed down and Cindy had decided it would be best to leave the room… while the older woman clung to her weeping and saying "My poor baby…my baby" over and over again.

"Do I need to give you a valium?" Margerat shook her head.

"I have a procedure tomorrow."

"After _this?_ You can call and cancel or I can." Cindy said. Right now the last place she wanted Kim's mother was near someone's brain, handling tools that required utter precision.

* * *

Zita was getting ready to head to work when there was a knock on her door.

"Coming!" She said, and opened it.

"Shelly?"

"Hi Zita… There's something I need to tell you."

"I'm uh…getting ready for work." Zita said. There was something about Shelly's face…something… maybe just a trick of the light.

"OH, won't be a problem."

"It won't?"

"No." Shelly said, and punched Zita in the stomach. As the girl doubled over, she came up with a cloth, covering her face, forcing her to breath in the fumes.

"Oh, by the way…Shelly isn't home anymore…it's _Shego_." As Zita fell into unconsciousness those were the last words she heard.

To be continued.


	11. Sacrifices

Sacrifice.

* * *

_Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys._

_The Screwtape Letters By C.S. Lewis

* * *

_

Kim and Ron were holding each other, still, as Kim's mother came back in the room, with Cindy in tow… her face newly washed, and her eyes red. The two sat down, as Ron and Kim faced them, Kim still hanging on to Ron.

"What now?" Kim asked. Cindy looked at the teen, and saw…if not calmness in her eyes, at least a form of peace. Good.

"Now? You go home, and Ron goes to Felix's." Cindy paused, "And Ron…you promised. About your parents. I expect to hear some progress on that front." Ron frowned, but nodded. Cindy sighed. Ron's meetings with her had been, in some respects, just as bad as Kim's, except for the fact that Ron had more willingness to confront his issues…except for some things and those he confided to Rabbi Katz.

"And both of you…" Cindy said, "There's another sort of meeting that I think we should arrange….with other people."

"Other…people?" Kim said, and Cindy saw her hand tighten on Ron's arm.

"What sort of people?" Ron asked.

"It's a group for people who have had traumatic experiences—cops who have had to use lethal force, firefighters…soldiers. It will be, I think, appropriate for you two."

"I don't…" Kim said. Ron touched her.

"It's ok, KP…" Ron said. "What happens there?"

"You talk…or listen." Cindy said, "nobody keeps a record…it's just a way to talk to people who may be able to understand what happened…in a way that people like me and your mother simply cannot." Kim and Ron looked at each other…and Kim nodded. Slowly, but with growing strength.

"And we don't have to talk if we don't want to?"

"No…but I know people who have participated…and you may find yourself surprised." She paused. "And with that… Kim, Ron…do you want to go and get something to eat?"

"Nah…" Ron said, and Kim looked up at him. "I think we'll just go to KP's house and veg for a while…." Kim nodded and Ron helped her into her wheelchair. Margaret and Cindy watched as the two left the building, and got into their van, pulling out.

"So…will he talk to his parents?"

"He'll try…but it will be difficult." Cindy said. "Ron… Ron believes that they made things far worse…which they did, of course. I don't think he'll fully reconcile until Kim makes a full recovery."

"If she ever does." Margaret said sadly. "I don't know if Kim will ever get full function back in her legs….certainly not for a few years, at least."

"I know." Cindy said. "That's why I was so worried when she cleaned out her locker…" She paused, "Margaret…I'm afraid that for Kim, at least…there's very little chance of full closure on this…" she patted Kim's mother on the shoulder.

"I know…" Dr. Margaret Possible said, "I know." Cindy gave a small smile.

"But at least she's started turning the corner psychologically now."

"Yes."

* * *

"So, Kim…" Ron said, "Want to stop at Bueno Nacho to get some munchies?" Kim smiled.

"If we take the drive through, Ron." She said. "Mom will go ballistic if I don't go right home." Kim smiled tiredly, "And dad will be calling in tonight… every ten minutes."

"Yeah.. I was surprised he went to that conference, even if it is only twenty miles away."

"Mom made him."

"Oh… well, it's probably good for-" Ron's celphone rang. Neither one had the Kimmunicator anymore—Wade could call, on the celphone. The Dr. Possible's had banned them, along with any discussion of Kim's former job, and Cindy had agreed, albeit due to her fear that they would raise evil memories.

"This is Ron." Ron said as they pulled into the parking lot. "What?" He blinked. "Felix and Monique as well? OK…" Ron put the phone down and turned out of the parking lot.

"Ron, what is it?"

"That was Shelly…Zita's had some kind of nervous breakdown…she needs us."

"Well, if there' s one thing we have experience at, it's a nervous breakdown." Kim said.

* * *

Felix and Monique had been enjoying some nice personal cuddling time…well actually more than just cuddling, as Felix's mom was gone, Ron was gone…and they had the house all to themselves.

Then, just as the night was getting interesting…the phone rang.

"Ummmm…let it Ring…" Monique said.

"And if mom gets worried and comes home?" Felix asked…eyes looking at the floor…with their shirts on it.

"Mmmmmm…. Wouldn't it be worth death?"

"Death yes…what she'd do…no." Monique groaned as Felix got the phone.

"Hi…Shelly? Yeah, this is a bad time…" Felix paused, and paled. "Zita said _what?_"He grabbed his shirt and started putting it on. "Yeah, Me 'an Monique will be there."

"What is it?" Monique asked, as Felix got his shirt on.

"Zita…she went crazy or something and ran off to the falls…"

"What?"

"I know, but Shelly needs us to get there." Monique nodded.

"This had better not be a joke…" She muttered darkly.

Monique and Felix wasted no time in getting to the falls…and there they found Kim, Ron and Bonnie… all looking confused and more than a little put out.

* * *

"What are you guys doing here?" Felix asked. Ron looked at him and shrugged.

"Shelly called us and said Zita had gone crazy." Bonnie glared.

"And Brick was just getting ready to apologize… if this is a joke…"

"Tell me about it."

"Oh God no…." All of them turned at that…and blinked. There was Zita…being held by Shelly—a wire looped around her neck. Zita had been crying, but she didn't look injured… but Shelly…. Shelly was wearing a green and black ensemble…and her face. There was a cast to it that was utterly unlike the girl they know.

"Hey Kimmie…long time no see." She said and if the rest of the teens didn't notice, Kim and Ron paled. The inflection…the tone…

"Figure it out yet?" Shelly said. "You can't be that stupid…" Ron started forward.

"Shelly, what are you-"

"Uh-uh, Stoppable…" She giggled, "One twist and your little friend's head falls off…and this isn't _Everlot_."

"Shelly, what the hell are you doing?" Felix asked.

"Oh, if it isn't the amazing wheelchair lad…" Shelly said, "You made me look stupid too…with that ridiculous cyberchair." She paused, "Oh God, you are all so stupid…here's a clue." She grinned and keeping the wire looped around Zita's neck, released her other hand…which filled with green fire, albeit, sparking and uncertain fire.

"I didn't get full control until I was older…but hey, it's not like any of _you_ are up to snuff."

"_Shego…_" Kim whispered.

"_Very Good_, Kimmie—courtesy of the Juvinator and some memory engrams…" Shelly paused, malice twisting her features. She giggled, and sound that was more terrifying for its sheer ordinariness. "Here, let's see what Shelly has to say." Her voice and face changed.

"Oh God, Oh God…run, run away, oh God pleasehelpmeGod…"

"Ah…dear Shelly isn't handling it well, is she." Shego said. "Now…I'm going to kill you all…but not you, Kimmie…I'll let you explain how you let your friends down…again." Kim's faced blanched…but not with panic.

With anger.

"Ron…" Kim whispered, out of the side of her mouth.

"Yeah, KP?"

"I can't get away."

"I know—neither can I."

"But if we piss her off badly enough…maybe the others can?"

"Read my mind, KP." There was no time for a kiss… a brief look was all there was.

"Oh… still scared, Shego?" Kim said, wheeling her self forward. Shelly looked at her.

"What?"

"I mean, you didn't succeed when I was out of the chair…so I guess you're worried you'll get your ass kicked…again?"

"I beat you…" Shelly snarled.

"Not the way I see it." Ron said. "Kim's not the one trying to hide behind a 16 year old…" Suddenly, Bonnie started in.

"Yeah, like it's so hard to take isn't it?" Bonnie said. "I mean you couldn't even beat them until you had how many thugs tire them out?" She snorted, "Even your fashion sense is worse, and _that's _bad."

"I'll get to you _Bon-Bon_," Shelly hissed, "How catty will you be when people puke when they see what I've done to your face."

"Oh Please." Monique said, picking up on it, and not noticing the frantic looks of Kim and Ron, who had expected to bring Shego down on them… "Tell it to someone who cares…"

_Those bitches! I'll show them!_

_What's a matter, Shego… getting worried? _Shelly asked. This wasn't turning out like Shego had intended it to. Kim was supposed to be crawling, begging, mewling.

_She's stronger than you._

_No, she isn't. I broke her… I **broke her!** _And suddenly, Shelly smiled

_What is it? You're just a fake girl…why are you smiling?_

_Because you **are** pathetic. Maybe you did break her…but Ron and her friends brought Kim back. You can't match that._

_I'll kill them, I'll kill them all!_

_And their friends, And their friends' friends?_

_Yes…all of them, no matter how many it takes! I'll win…I'll WIN._

_No. You've lost_. Shelly said and suddenly there was silence in her mind. _Look at them. They're afraid of you… but not terrified. Not breaking…not running. _

And then Shelly knew.

_That's the point, isn't it?_

_Shut up… shut **up!** _

_No. You aren't trying to beat Kim…you're trying to prove that you didn't screw up! If Kim is just a fake in the end, then nobody can blame you for turning evil, for taking the easy path._

**_Stop it!_**

_No._

_Than watch Kim die! If I can't make her crawl, I can make her not be!_

With that, Shelly charged towards Kim, letting Zita fall gasping, to the ground. Shelly's face was disfigured with Rage.

"You think you can stand before me!" She screamed, charging Kim, and Ron was getting in her way, but her hands were on fire.

Then Monique and Bonnie hit her, low and dirty, from the sides, and Felix was right behind them, metallic tentacles extending from his wheelchair. For a moment, Shelly went down, but then Bonnie and Monique went flying back. Shelly rose, screaming in fury, wreathed in fire. Felix's tentacles were snapped, melted thrown back. Felix gasped—He could smell burning flesh from Shelly. Something was wrong with her fire…it was affecting her.

_Shego… you're burning us._

_I don't care, I don't care! They die! They die now! they all die! _

Then, she was charging Ron…but Ron didn't try to avoid her, and he grabbed her by the wrists, his own skin hissing and popping as it was burned.

"What now, Jewboy!" Shego hissed, "I'll burn your hands off, and then get your girlfriend…do you think she'll scream, beg like she did?"

"To save Ron?" Kim asked. "A thousand times…Shego." She paused. "Shelly? I understand. I'm sorry."

_She didn't run…she had to run!_ Shego thought. Despair was in her thoughts. Her triumph was slipping away.

"Shelly." Ron said, face pale, but not letting go. "Fight her."

"Shelly doesn't exist!" Shego screamed.

"Yes she does." Ron said, and there was an unstoppable certainty in his voice. "You couldn't have fooled us."

"Shut up! Shut UP!" And with an explosion of power, Ron was flung back, bouncing off a tree, stunned. Then Shelly lashed out at Kim. Kim had managed to get a crutch out from its rack and the metal crutch deflected her first blow—but it was destroyed in the process. Shelly screamed and kicked the chair over, spilling Kim out of it, the teen giving an involuntary cry of pain as she fell, leaving her looking up at Shelly, smelling the burning of Shelly's skin.

"Now…beg…" She hissed. "Beg for Ronnie's life, Beg for everyone's life."

"OK." Kim said. There were tears in her eyes, but Shego couldn't be triumphant. They weren't not the hysterical tears she'd envisioned.

"No! That's not right! You were broken! You have to be broken!" The other three teens, joined now by Zita, were advancing on her, as Ron staggered to his feet. Shelly turned and hissed at them.

"Keep away!" She screamed.

"Shelly…your hands.." Monique said in shock, looking at the burned and blistered hands, getting worse by the second. Then Shego turned and her hands were up, and nobody could get to Kim in time.

_Shelly was thinking. She was nothing… not a soul, not a kid, just memories. But that didn't mean she couldn't **do** anything. It was her body, even if only for a few days…and she had to do something. These were her friends. She had brought them to the falls because maybe they could have done something—better than Shego's idea of luring them in, one by one, to some forgotten lair. _

_Father… she said, a prayer from a soulless being. _

Shego's attack wasn't completed. Suddenly, her left hand lashed out and grabbed her right hand, stopping the attack.

"Kim…get away." And now the voice was Shelly's.

"Shelly?"

"I can't— What are you doing! Stop it, _Stop it!_" Her voice scaled up shrilly… but Shelly didn't move. The teens were frozen, looking at her face, mad one second, and oddly tranquil the other. Now, Shelly was backing up, towards the edge of the cliff.

"I have to do this." Shelly said. Ron got up and started towards her, but she stopped him with a single look.

"What?" Bonnie said.

"This is Shego's body…Bonnie. _Give it back! Give it Back!_" Shego screamed, but Shelly was now the master of her body again. "I was just some memories she installed in it, from her own childhood…but she'll get control back sooner or later." She paused, "So I'm going to fix that." Now, they realized what she intended to do.

"Shelly, no!" Kim shouted, trying to get back on her feet.

"Sorry Kim…" Shelly said, "I'm not going to leave Shego to do this again… and it's the only thing I can do…" Now she was close to the edge. Ron looked at her, and spoke softly.

"Shelly… don't do this. You're beating her…don't do this at the end."

"I have to Ron…she's done so much… I can't let her go without doing justice." Then, she was at the edge.

_You'll die! You'll die! _Shego's voice gibbered in her mind

_You said I'd die anyway, remember? It doesn't matter. I win. No matter what happens here, I win, because you'll never hurt Kim or the others. _

_And you lost._ Shelly thought and suddenly Shego shrank in her mind. _You wanted to show that Kim was no better than you—guess what…she _is_ better than you, and you proved it. You didn't break Kim… love for Ron was the only tool you had._

_And it worked, it **worked!**_

_No. It failed…because Ron also caught her when she Fell…all you proved is that you'll never beat them—because when all is said and done, you leave nothing behind Shego…just a bad taste. _

_You will too—they think you're me._

_I am you…I guess…and this is the one thing I will do…for Kim. _Shego used her final weapon.

_You'll go to hell! _Shego screamed,_ Remember, suicides go to hell!_

_But you said I'm nothing Shego—just fake memories you created or were left over from childhood. I don't have a soul, or fear of hell…or hope of heaven. _Shelly laughed inside her head,_ I'm possibly the freeist person in history… _Then she threw herself off the bridge, Shego's screams in her ear.

_Take me god. I don't have a soul so I have nothing to give You that matters. Take the only thing I can give. My Service. Keep Kim and Ron, and everyone else safe, and let me take their enemy out of the world with me. _As Shelly hit the water, Shego's inarticulate cries of rage and despair echoing in her mind, she had one last thought.

_Well, it was an interesting few weeks._

And then there was the cold, and the roaring in her ears, and darkness.

_To be continued. _


	12. Conversations with God

Conversations with God

* * *

Note: Some aspects of this chapter (the nature of "heaven") are taken from _The Great Divorce_ by C.S. Lewis

* * *

Monique looked in horror as Shelly plunged into the roaring waters, and was lost to sight. 

"Someone—Help…" She paused, _What if we get Shego?_

"Felix!" Kim shouted, "Fly above her… everyone else will follow along the path!" Felix nodded, and with a whir of fans, his chair lifted off. Monique looked at Kim her face strained and pale with worry. _"Go, Monique." _Kim said, "I'll stay here and call… someone. Then Ron was up and running along side the crevice, the path descending gradually as they kept on going. Ron was muttering something about a flashlight, when Bonnie pulled out a light from her purse and held it on the water.

"A light, Bonnie?" Monique asked.

"Oh yeah—you would have no idea how many guys forget that in their cars." Bonnie said.

Back up at the top, Kim got her one functional crutch and made her way to Zita, who was sitting, arms around herself.

"Hey." Kim said, "You okay?" Zita looked over at Kim, seeing her face.

"No." Zita said. _Those eyes… hateful, staring at her like she was some… some **thing.**_

**"**That was Shelly?" Zita asked.

"No…it was Shego…but I…" Kim shook her head, "I think that Shelly was fighting her…and won."

* * *

The sky was incredible. Shelly blinked at that. It was like every summer morning and winter afternoon she'd ever seen. It was… perfection. Below it, trees and hills formed an unbroken wonderland, with one mighty mountain towering above all, the sun behind it, it's rays turning the undersides of some of the clouds crimson. She was oddly happy it wasn't fully risen yet—the thought rose her body would be vaporized by the merest lick of the light that was promised. 

"Ow…" She hissed. As she tried to walk, the grass hurt her feet… because it was like it was grass made of diamond and steel—it didn't even bend under her feet, not even the least bit.

"The grass can be hard to walk on, if you're not used to it." A voice came from behind her, reminding her of… Shelly shook her head. She couldn't place it, but it was familiar. Turning around, she blinked at the sight. There was a bearded man, in his mid thirties. He walked over to her, the grass crushing under his feet, his form solid and at home in the strange place, even making it seem _less_ solid than he was. A kindly face looked down upon her, as he took her by the arm and lifted her up effortlessly. For a moment Shelly tried to pretend that she was getting used to the place—but no, the only reason the grass didn't hurt was that he was holding her up.

"I'm…" Shelly shook her head. "This is crazy, I…"

"Can't believe the evidence of your own eyes? You and Thomas would get along, but I shan't use the method I used on him. You modern people are too easy to gross out." Shelly gulped—his voice…she now remembered what it sounded like—her father, mother… but… How could it….

"Because I was there?" He asked. Now Shelly turned around and looked around, before trying to meet His eyes and failing.

"This can't be… I'm… you're…"

"A hallucination? In reality you're drowning and this is just the sparking of dying braincells?" He chuckled. "That's not a comforting possibility."

"Then what could you be?"

"I could be Christ." He softly said. "Beloved Daughter…what do you wish?" At that question, Shelly couldn't hesitate, couldn't say anything more than the thought that had lived in her since Shego had revealed herself.

"I wish I was Real."

"You are."

"But Shego made me."

"No. Shego made memories some of her, some created… you made yourself. Shego told you a lie of going to church, you made your faith. Shego put you close to Kim and Ron…you made them your friends…"

"And Shego would do anything to survive…and you would do anything to protect those around you. You are my Daughter. Shego is a puppetmaster who created a puppet that was greater than she. "

. "This is just…" He chuckled.

"Strange? Terrible?" He paused, "You stand on the bordermarches of heaven—no matter what I am, Christ or your mind, you are _very_ close to death and heaven… and that is terrible. All wonderful things are."

"It's _wrong."_ Shelly said angrily. "What happened to Kim and Ron was _wrong."_ If she was going to die, she could at least- "If you're God, why did you let it happen!"

"Sorry kid." He said matter of factly, "That's kind of implicit in the way things work— if you have free will….you have the freedom to screw it up." He paused, "Or in your case, triumph…." A crackle of thunder echoed across the sky. "Well…. It looks like our conversation is coming to an end."

"Am I going to die?"

"Eventually? Of course." He said. "But not by water… you will be in the hands of those who have no reason to trust you, who have no _pragmatic_ reason to spare you, given what has happend. Your fate will depend on them giving off pragmatism in favor of faith and charity." He shrugged, "But know this, Shelly…Shego outsmarted herself. Her story is at an end…so whatever chapters beyond this, are yours to write." He looked up and then incongruously, produced an umbrella, opening it against the patter of rain.

"Take a deep breath, Shelly…. And have faith."

"Take a-" The rain suddenly came down in a curtain and Shelly barely had a chance to do what He said before she was in the river, underwater, cold sucking the energy out of her body… And an indistinct figure grabbing her.

_To be continued._


	13. Revelations

Author's note:

Thanks for all the kind comments and reviews! This sort of story can be difficult to pull off, and I'm happy that evidently I have managed to do that.

Ps2teen1213 and Stevew—Shego's fate will be tied up in the next few chapters…and while she doesn't meet the devil…she may wish she had, given what happens.

* * *

_Revelations:_

Charging along the side of the river, Bonnie caught a glance of something under the water, and without missing a beat, dove in, flashlight clenched in one hand.

There—under the water, a feebly struggling figure.

Shelly.

_Or Shego._ Her mind said.

_Shut Up. _Bonnie got Shelly around the waist, but now she was too heavy and the current had them _both…_

And a cybernetic tentacle reached around her waist and started pulling, defeating the current. Bonnie broke the surface, gasping and looked to the bank, where Felix was grounded, with Ron and Monique pulling on the damaged cybernetic tentacle, one of the ones Shego had damaged. Ron had his burned hands covered in his shirt, but even so, his face was pale with pain… where another person would have probably fainted. Bonnie had the brief thought that if Shego had done anything, she'd certainly given Ron a new definition of agony.

"Why didn't you let me go in?" Ron asked as they ran to the bank.

"So you could lose her when your skin fell off?" Bonnie retorted, indicating his scorched hands. "Besides, you were the only one heavy enough to hold Felix's chair if it started to slip."

"Uh-huh. And you thought of that when?"

"Right now." Bonnie said, bending over Shelly and rolling her on her side. A gout of water came out of her mouth as she choked and gasped, and started breathing…but she was still unconscious.

"So what do we do now?" Everyone looked at each other.

"Tie her up." Monique said. Ron blinked.

"Monique-"

"Do you know who will be in charge when she wakes up? I don't—and I don't want to find out on the way home."

"So who do we…" Bonnie started.

"Not the police." Ron said, "They'd just kill her—or…" He paused, "Rabbi Katz. I trust him." Bonnie looked at Ron, then nodded.

"Let's go get Kim and Zita."

* * *

The trip over to Rabbi Katz's was quiet—Ron and Felix took the van, with Kim in Bonnie's car and Zita with Monique. The girls protested but Ron was inflexible—between him and Felix's chair, even damaged, if Shelly woke up as Shego, they had the best chance to stop her—or get away.

Rabbi Katz had just finished some work on his talk during the next Sabbath, when the door bell rung. It was a little late, but then, like any man of God, the Rabbi was used to people sometimes coming in late.

He wasn't used to seeing six teens, one carrying another, unconscious teen, and with several of them soaked to the skin.

"Ronald?" Katz asked in shock.

"Hi Rabbi…" Ron said, "We have… a problem."

"I…see." Rabbi Katz said. "Well, come in and tell me about it."

* * *

Several minutes later, Rabbi Katz was sitting with a poleaxed look on his face.

"So… Shelly is Shego."

"Not really, I mean, kinda, but…" Ron paused, "Kim?" His girlfriend shrugged, her own face confused.

"I don't know…it was Shego…and then it was like they were fighting…and then Shelly was in charge and she tried to kill herself." Rabbi Katz leaned back and thought for a moment.

"I thank you all for your trust, but we need to call in… hmmm…. Your mother, Kim."

"Oh, Rabbi, no." Kim breathed.

"We need someone who can examine Sh-Shelly's brain." Rabbi Katz said reasonably. "She was fighting Shego when she was last conscious, and this is like no case of split personality I've ever heard of—I don't think anyone's ever _considered_ making themselves younger to disguise themselves."

"But mom _hates_ Shego." Kim said.

"And you don't?"

"Yes, but I-" Kim shook her head, "This isn't Shego… Shego would have killed us."

"Unless this is a mind game." Felix said. Everyone looked at him. "Guys," He said, "Shego was…well, batshit -sorry Rabbi- insane. Maybe she also wants to do this?"

"I don't think so, Felix." Katz said, "I can't imagine someone like Shego giving up control of her situation after you knew who she was—and from what you've said, she _didn't _sound like her plan was working overly well."

"Got that right." Bonnie said.

"But in any case, Kimberly… We can't risk her waking up—not with you around, and we can't exactly go hitting her on the head every time she stirs." Katz paused, "And your mother and your school psychologist are the only ones I can think of who might be able to help—and who _won't_ go directly to the authorities. Once they are involved, I doubt very much if Shelly's welfare will enter into any calculations."

"OK…" Kim said.

"Hey KP." Ron said. "Given how late we are, maybe your mom will focus on us?" Kim laughed at Ron, as Rufus scolded him.

"Maybe." She said and took his hand. "If she's really angry…will you stick with me?"

"Of course."

"And if you ever need anything… will you let me try and help?" She asked. Bonnie blinked at that. Kim would have _never_ said, "try" before, but there wasn't any sense of hysteria or fear about her, just an….

Acceptance. That was the word Bonnie was looking for.

"Of course Kim." Ron said.

"Good…because I think we're both going to need help…" She smiled at him, and Rabbi Katz noted she was looking over in the direction of both of their houses. Ron nodded and gave her a kiss.

"Well, no time like the present." He said, and looked at Rabbi Katz. "Rabbi, shall you, or I?"

"I think I'd be the best one to give the call, Ronald."

* * *

"Their first new post cure experience will be being grounded forever." Dr. Possible said. "Where _are _they?" Fear struggled with annoyance in her voice, fear winning. The fact that Felix and the others were also gone had Cindy wondering if they'd decided to celebrate, or at least talk. The subdued beep of the celphone interrupted her.

"Is that the- no." She said, "It's Rabbi Katz." Margaret tucked the phone receiver in her ear and answered it.

"Hello Rabbi… what is… They are?" She paused, and without missing a beat swung the vehicle around and headed back down the street. "You want us to meet you at the _hospital?_" She blinked, "Is Kim…she's OK…but you want me to check Zita, and Ron's been burned."

"By who?"

Cindy watched her friend in concern. Margaret was sounding confused and worried…when suddenly the car, in a cloud of dust and the sound of squealing tires, came screeching to a halt, almost cutting Cindy in half against her seat belt.

"Shelly's **_who?_**" Kim's mother gasped, having gone dead white.

To be continued.


	14. Vengeance Is Mine

Vengeance Is Mine...

* * *

By the time they got to the hospital, Cindy was replaying her life for the third time—Margaret broke the sound barrier and just about every rule of driving getting to the hospital, her face pale and set. She skidded the vehicle into the parking space, barely missing the wall and got out without even bothering to close the door. Cindy followed her, still in the dark on what had happened—Margaret hadn't said a thing.

Running into the hospital, Margaret got directions from the floor nurse and than burst into an examination room.

"What is going on here!" She said angrily. There were the kids, Rabbi Katz and Shelly, on the examination bed. Ron's hands were bandaged, again, and Kim. That opened the floodgates, and Cindy listened, having a feeling that she'd just fallen into a science fiction movie… not surprising, given who was doing the talking.

"That…._thing_, is Shego?" Margaret said. "I let her get you into her _apartment?_"

"She's not…. Shego." Kim said, "Not anymore."

"Kimmie!" her mother snapped, "That's ridiculous. She's just using you, again, trying to hurt you…._again!_" She paused, "And if you're not worried, why is she tied to the bed!" Dr. Possible was almost hyperventilating, her face pale with fury and fear. Cindy moved up beside her, putting a hand on her friends shoulder.

"Rabbi Katz." She said, "Why is she tied up." The Rabbi looked at them both and nodded.

"Because none of us know what she'll be like when she wakes up… according to Ronald and Kimberly, as well as the others, she acted like she had two minds—and 'shelly' threw herself into the falls, but whether or not "Shelly" or "Shego" will be in charge when she wakes up…"

"Well, then lets call Global Justice." Margaret said.

"Mom, _no!_" Kim replied, "What if it _is_ Shelly now, not Shego? They'd never believe that."

"Well, neither do I." Kim's mother said.

"This is outside of my experience." Cindy commented, "'split personality' is actually more of a Hollywood myth than a reality, at least in the sense of completely independent personalities coexisting…and definitely not at the same time." She paused, "How did she get young?"

"The Juvinator." Kim said,

"The what?" Cindy replied.

"A gadget for making people young." Ron supplied. "Drakken invented it, but it didn't go anywhere…"

"Why not…I'd like to be young again." Cindy replied.

"Because people who tried it for too long turned into piles of goo." Kim replied. "I guess She-Shelly's comet metabolism protected her."

"Yeah." Zita said, "but look at her hands—I guess her powers aren't working correctly." Margaret was still glaring at Katz.

"And you just let them _bring_ her here?" Katz was unrepentant.

"Kimberly and Ronald, of all of us, have the most right to demand vengeance—or mercy, Dr. Possible. If they have chosen mercy, I won't gainsay them."

"Mom…" Kim said, "I knew this would happen…but we need you. You're the brain surgeon—can't you figure out what is happening—who won?"

"It doesn't matter!" Margaret hissed, "That… person, was the one who tortured you, Kimmie, no matter what she says, no matter what she remembers!"

"She also saved us." Kim said. "And killed herself—at least as far as she knew. Doesn't that count for something?"

Margaret looked at her daughter. If she called the police, Kim would never forgive her…but to leave Shego alive? To play her games again?

No. But she couldn't convince Kimmie…her daughter wouldn't understand.

"I'll have to clear one of the new brain imaging labs." Margaret said. "Kim, you and the others will have to leave the room while I prepare Shelly." Kim looked up at her mothers change of address. "I'm presuming those restraints will hold?"

"Yes." Cindy said, looking at the thick restraints, but then looking over at Dr. Possible with concern. _That was too fast…_ "I think they will."

"Good." Margaret said. "Everyone out!" Everyone left, and she paused and looked over at Ron. "Ron, you and the others go down to the Emergency room, and get yourselves checked out."

"But." Kim started.

"No buts, young lady." Her mother said. Kim nodded, and Ron pushed her out of the room, the hospital issue wheelchair squeaking slightly. Margaret looked at Rabbi Katz and Cindy.

"Why don't you go down and watch them—just in case someone gets antsy about their presence."

"Very well." Cindy said, and she and Katz left, leaving Margaret and Shelly alone.

* * *

In the silence, broken only by Shelly's breathing, Margaret waited. She didn't move towards the computer scheduling unit that would clear the lab. She turned towards the drug cabinet. A slim hand keyed in the code to open it, and then used the override that she, as the head of Neurosurgery had access to—the one that prevented the security computer from recording the opening. Done in order to prevent security from being continuously bombarded by alerts during a procedure, none worried about it, as end of the week inventories would quickly catch any thieves. Except of course, that by the end of the week, this cabinet would be fully stocked again.

She reached in, and got the vial of morphine. A moment later, and she had pulled out and prepared a syringe. She quickly filled the Syringe, and turned back towards Shelly's unconscious body.

She didn't bother to clear any air bubbles from the syringe. That would normally be dangerous…

But the dosage was far beyond lethal, in any case.

To be continued.


	15. Hesitation

**Vengeance** **is** **mine,** **sayeth** **the** **Lord**" (Romans 12:19)

* * *

The procedure would be very simple. She would inject the drug into the major artery, where it would move through Shego's body, stopping the heart, lungs and other systems that kept her alive. Death, in terms of reaching a state where no possible medical care could revive her, would probably take a few minutes.

Of course, there was every likelihood that she would go to jail. Any autopsy would quickly show the cause of death… and Dr. Possible was not a fool. The police were professionals at finding out who had committed crimes and so they very likely would discover her role in "Shelly's" death.

"But that's ok." She murmured to herself. A mother's duty was to protect her child. It was, in fact, her _first_ duty…and one Margaret had failed at far too often. But at least in this one small way, she would shield her daughter.

Even if Kim never spoke to her again.

A sudden beeping startled her, and Margaret fumbled for her PDA pad that was noisily announcing something. It'd just be her luck to get someone coming in wondering what the sound was.

_Reminder, Margaret, you have to finish the draft for the medical ethics assembly at St. Ignacius. _Her old medical school. She blinked at that. With everything that had happened, she'd forgotten about the assembly. She would have to finish it after…

_Remember. Doctors, do not kill. We may withhold some forms of treatment, with the full and knowledgeable consent of the patient, but we **do not kill.** A doctor, who has taken that step for whatever reason, be it good or ill, is no longer a doctor. _She shook her head a the memory of last years assembly.

OK, she was wrong. Sometimes doctors had to kill. Sometimes there were things that were no more than rabid animals, that **had** to be put down. She put the end of syringe up to Shelly-no, _Shego's_ neck… And pushed the plunger down.

Or tried to. For some reason her hand wouldn't function like her brain was willing it to. Her fingers remained stubbornly motionless. Margaret took a breath, a deep breath, and tried again. Nothing.

_Damn you! Do this!_ She screamed at herself. She'd turn _herself_ in, if that was what her hindbrain was worried about. She killed cancer all the time, cut it out, and this was no different.

The room remained stubbornly silent. Her hand remained still. Her mind refused to be still, lashing her with memories of what Shego had done to Kim. How her baby had tried to _kill_ herself, her confident daughter now so terrified that she needed a night light to ward off the nightmares.

It could all be over. All Kimmie's reasons for fear gone, in a single motion.

So why couldn't she?

_Kim doesn't want Shego dead._ Margaret closed her eyes.

_Kim doesn't know. She doesn't understand._

_She doesn't? All that you hate Shego for was done to her. Not you. Her. If any have the right to vengeance—or to withhold it, it is her and Ron._ Now Margaret was shaking her head, wildly, trying to shut up the voice in her head.

"Damnit, she won't suffer anymore!" She said, her voice weak, thready.

_She won't? Is that your place to decide?_

"Shut up!" She finally shouted.

"I haven't spoken." Another voice said, and Margaret whirled around. There was Cindy, standing in the open doorway.

"Are you going to stop me?"

"I don't know as I have to." Cindy said. "You've had more than enough time… and I don't know if I should stop you…" She sat down, in a chair. "Because this isn't anything _I_ was ever taught about." She paused. "But I have a question for you."

"What." Margaret said, voice icy.

"What are the neurological traits of aging." Margaret blinked at that.

"You know them." The brain surgeon said.

"But maybe you aren't thinking of them." Cindy shrugged, "It's a natural oversight, I suppose—because you're more concerned with things going _wrong_, rather than natural processes—I suppose you would automatically think about tumors, strokes, viral infections—malfunctions."

"And you're thinking of?"

"The very natural process of aging—the accumulation of memories. Memories which are not simply psychological, but physical changes to the structure of the brain." Cindy shrugged, "And Shelly—or Shego, has drastically reduced her age." She paused, "I don't know about Shego's early life—but if the juvinator reduced all aspects of age…"

"Then why did she remember she was Shego to begin with?" Margaret said. Despite her anger, the syringe wavered in her hand, as her brain started working on the problem.

"Brain tissue is very resistant to regeneration—maybe it works the other way around—hell, given that a juvinator breaks at least a half dozen natural laws, I'm not about to assume it doesn't do other weird things."

"And that means?"

"Unless Shelly was as nasty as Shego was from a very young age…. That may not be Shego."

"And you expect me to believe that—to _trust_ my daughter's life and sanity to that?" Margaret said. "You know what Shego did to her."

"Yes. I do." Cindy paused, "And I know that if that's Shelly, not Shego, killing her, going to jail for it, leaving Kim alone with her guilt—_again!--_ will be a dandy epilogue to Shego's vengeance." Margaret looked down again, and suddenly realized that the girl's eyes had opened sometime during their conversation. They were looking up at her, neither afraid nor unaware…just accepting.

* * *

Shelly had heard some of the conversation, but it wasn't important. She was Shelly… but Kim's mother was right—she didn't deserve to live. Not if those she had hurt demanded her life she didn't. She wouldn't fight. If Kim's mother decided to kill her… well, that would make certain Shego never came out again…and it was _her_ decision, not Shego's. He was right. Even if her story ended in the next ten minutes, at least _she_ had written the last chapters, not Shego.

* * *

In the emergency room, the kids had been checked out and were in a cluster by one of the doors, out of everyone's earshot. Bonnie held the floor.

"Look, if she isn't Shego, none of us can ever tell _anyone_ about tonight."

"None-why?" Felix asked. Bonnie looked at him like he was an idiot.

"Come on, Felix—how do you think people will treat her then?"

"But what if she does flip out again?" Zita said, bruises on her neck.

"That's why we have to decide now." Bonnie answered, "Either tell now, or stay quiet."

"Speak now, or forever hold your peace." Monique said. "didn't expect you to come up with that, Bonnie."

"You haven't had sisters throwing stuff in your face all your life." Bonnie said. "If it can screw up someone as naturally with it as me, imagine what it would do to Shelly?" Kim smothered a laugh at that, but suddenly found herself, and Ron, the center of attention.

"But…" Bonnie paused, "It's your choice, you two—Shego was the one who hurt you and you two are the only ones who have the _right _to say yes or no." Kim's hand found Ron's, both teens trembling a little. Ron gave a lopsided grin.

"Telling everyone would be the sensible thing." He said, "But I don't do sensible stuff…so why start now. I say keep quiet." He paused, "Kim?" Kim closed her eyes for a moment.

"I trust… I trust what Shelly did." Kim said, "And I'm not going to let the shadow of Shego keep chasing me for the rest of my life. Keep quiet." The others looked, and nodded.

"Good. Now lets call Rabbi Katz over here and tell him what he's going to do." Bonnie finished.

* * *

"I could kill you right now." Margaret said, looking down. "One thrust, and a few minutes later you would be dead—and your comet powers wouldn't do a thing about it." The eyes simply looked back up. No fear. No anger.

_Dammit, curse, yell, do something!_ She wanted to scream at the girl.

"There is, of course, a way to find out." Cindy said. "A brain scan…an _in depth_ brain scan." She paused, "Which I believe you are one of the only people who could perform one, at least to the depth required." Margaret nodded.

_And nobody could gainsay me if I said that Shego was still there. _

_But if she wasn't… is that protection, or vengeance? _She put the syringe away, part of her hating herself.

"I'll…schedule a scanner."

* * *

Meanwhile, the emergency room had seen the teens inform Rabbi Katz what the story was going to be. The Rabbi looked at them for a moment and quirked his eyebrows at them.

"I'm not the one you should be ordering—I only have what you said, and if you refuse to back me up…. But it's your mother, Kimberly, who can give hard proof that Shelly is Shego, at least on a DNA level." He paused, "But I do see a flaw in your plan."

"Oh? What?" Bonnie said, she didn't _like_ people telling her that her plans were flawed.

"What are people going to think when Shelly's comet power starts to manifest? There's no reason it will go away now." The teens all blinked at each other, and then looked to Bonnie.

"What, I have to think of everything?" Bonnie said in exasperation. "OK, Shego had come back from the dead and was fighting Shelly, and when they fell into the water, her comet power conducted into Shelly, which is why nobody can find Shego because she vaporized."

"That was fast." Monique said.

"And depressing that the younger generation should so easily lie." Katz said.

"It's not a lie." Bonnie said. "It's completely true—we just leave out the part about Shego and Shelly being _in_ the same body."

"Ms. Rockwaller…. I can foresee a career in politics, organized crime, or the law in front of you…" Katz finished with a sigh.

"Well…now comes the difficult part." Kim said. "I'll have to do this alone."

"What?"

"Convince _mom._"

TBC.


	16. Mercy

The walk was hard. Harder than just about anything Kim had ever done. Even with the crutches, by the time she reached the top of the building, and exited the elevator, Kim's legs were burning in agony.

There was nothing to be done for it.

_If I'm asking mom to cut Shelly a break, the **last** thing I want is her to see me in that damned chair…or these crutches. _She'd have to ditch them before she walked in.Having Ron have to carry her over the threshold also wasn't a good idea… or having him anywhere around. Problem was, mom had been _really_ upset (as much as Kim) about Ron cutting off his parents, which meant if he was there, she'd think about that, and about why he had done it, etc….

"No…ahhhhh…. Not a good idea." Kim said, feeling the sweat drops trickle down her face. Her legs were trembling and abruptly she felt herself start to fall-

And Ron's hands were under her arms, keeping her from falling.

"Hey KP." Ron said.

"Ron…" Kim said, gasping, "I have to do this by myself."

"And you had to come up all this way by yourself?" Kim's face turned red, as Ron guided her to a chair.

_He would have helped me._

_But I had to do this alone._

_That's one of your problems, isn't it?_ Kim's inner voice told her. She looked over at Ron, who sighed in good natured irritation.

"KP… don't take this wrong, but isn't part of 'doing anything' asking for help?" Kim looked at him, and for a moment wondered why he hadn't-

_You know why. _Ron hadn't because Ron would let her try—would support her, help her, tolerate her screaming and cursing him out…but never try and 'help' her by keeping her in a cage. If she'd made it up by herself, he'd never have taken her achievement away from her…but he was there, to catch her if she fell.

He'd always been there to catch her when she fell—or in his good natured way that too many had seen as goofball act, push her ahead when she might herself not dare. Like the talent show. If it hadn't been for Ron… she'd never had tried again. One failure at singing…and she'd never dared risk it again, save for her best friend.

Ron handed her a damp washcloth and Kim used it to mop her face, looking in her compact mirror at her red and strained face, which now at least, didn't have rivulets of sweat cascading down it. Then, she leaned into Ron and hugged him, drawing strength from him.

"What am I going to say, Ron?" Kim finally asked him. "Mom _hates_ Shego, and I don't think she knows Shelly like we do."

Ron paused a moment. "How about you just talk to her KP? Your mom's cool—she always has been and she always listens to you. So just talk."

"Um…" Kim paused, "I'll talk to her…alone." She paused, "If she sees you…" Kim gently brushed the side of Ron's face. Ron gave a soft laugh.

"Yeah, I'm pretty bunged up, but I don't think she'll be able to overlook how you look." Kim couldn't keep from bursting into a surprised laugh at that.

"Yeah, the Stoppable-Possible team." She said, "Or Team Thumped On."

"Well, as of now, I think I _can_ say, 'you should see the other side.'" Ron answered. "Now we just have to keep up the momentum…and _win_, not just smack the evil, but get something positive out of this whole mess." Kim abruptly looked up, and made a snap decision.

"No."

"What?"

"I was wrong—we're both going in. Shego hurt both of us…so between the two of us, I think we have the _right_ to ask for mercy."

"Then let's do it, KP." Ron said, and stood up, offering Kim his arm. Kim smiled at it, and stood up herself, leaving the crutches on the side of the hospital corridor. She'd lean on Ron for this one.

* * *

Inside the examination room, the imaging system, one of only ten in the nation, hummed its way through a brain scan. Combining the best aspects of just about every sensor to come before, it was a wonder of technology.

And right now, it _wasn't_ telling Dr. Margaret Possible what she wanted to hear. Cindy frowned at the holographic displays floating in the air.

"So… what is that?" She asked. Margaret frowned, and pointed to an image of a brain floating in the air.

"according to this, the development of the brain is… identical to what you would expect in a sixteen or seventeen year old girl." She paused, "The regions involving memory are no more developed than we'd expect."

"So there aren't any remnants of Shego?"

"I didn't say that." Margaret said sharply. "There are other abnormalities, including a certain amount of radiation, that should be causing all sorts of damage, but isn't."

"Comet power."

"Yes." She paused, "_Shego's _comet power."

"And?"

"And I'm going to call Global Justice and the FBI. Let them deal with her."

"No mom." Both women spun around, shocked. Kim was in the door, leaning on Ron's shoulder. Ron had his arm around Kim, partially supporting her, his own burned hands clumsy in their dressings.

_"Kimberly Ann Possible!"_Her mother burst out, "I thought I told you to stay in the emergency room!"

"They fixed me." Kim said. "And this is more important."

"More important?" Her mother said.

"Yeah. You can't tell GJ about Shego." Her mother blinked at that.

"Why not."

"Because they'd never let her go. They'd always be worried that it was just a plot of Shego's." Margaret folded her arms.

"They might be right."

"No. They're not." Kim paused, "I… I know Shego, better than you, mom—she'd never, _ever_ risk getting killed like this. Not for anything. Shelly could have died, _would_ have died, if Ron, Felix and Bonnie hadn't of saved her." The red head met her mother's eyes squarely. "Shego isn't home anymore…and Shelly doesn't deserve this."

"And you two _did _deserve this?" Her mother said angrily. "Shelly or Shego—her hands tortured you. Her hands blinded Ron."

"You're right, Dr. Ms. P." Ron said. "So isn't it kinda…our call about what happens?" The two adults looked at Ron, Dr. Possible silent, and Cindy nodding in slow agreement.

_Not kids…not anymore._ Cindy thought with pride and sorrow. _Shego did fail. Here's the result. _

"No." Kim's mom said, "She has to pay." She paused, and repeated in a voice that sounded like Margaret was having a hard time breathing, "She _has_ to pay."

"Why?" Kim asked. "Because you hate her?"

"_Yes." _Her mother hissed out.

"Shego hated me." Kim quietly said. "Shelly… if that was Shego at my age… well, look where hate got her, eventually… I don't want to end up there… I don't want _you_ to end up there." Ron patted her hand.

"Besides, Dr. P." Ron continued where Kim left off. "If Shego's gone, Shelly's not responsible…and what can you do that will get my eye back, or Kim's legs back? You won't get anything, and you'll just be more pissed off and frustrated."

"What if she comes back?" Margaret said, her voice unconvincing even to her. "I could be putting all of you at risk."

"We're _always_ at risk, Margaret." Cindy said.

"_E Tu__, Brute?_" Margaret said, frowning at Cindy.

"You're right mom." Kim said, "This is kinda the dumb thing to do… but look at all the smart people, who never take a chance, never help someone… never…" Kim paused, struggling with her thoughts for a few moments. Then, she seemed to come to a decision, "Never have _faith_. Sure, Shelly can go bad. So can I, so can Ron, so can you…. But I trust her. Can you trust us?"

"I-" Margaret had never _not_ trusted her child. "What do you want?" Kim and Ron looked at each other and nodded.

"Bonnie came up with it—Shego showed up, attacked us all, fell into the water with Shelly—and her comet powers went wild and vaporized her… and if anyone asks, that's why Shelly has them."

"And that's it?"

"Pretty much." Margaret listened to her daughter, and then in an unbelieving voice, continued.

"I cannot believe I'm even thinking about this, but we'd have to purge the genebank records from when she came in—and someday, someone's going to take a gene reading of her and she'll light up every law enforcement database from here to Moscow."

"So she was a clone—by that time Shego'll be old news." Ron casually said, his face more lopsided than normal. Margaret closed her eyes.

"OK." She said, "But Kim… Sheg- Shelly never comes into our house."

"Mo-" Kim started and fell silent, as Cindy made frantic "sushing" motions from over her mothers shoulder.

"No." Margaret looked at her daughter. "Do you know what really sucks about being a doctor?" Kim shook her head. "Kimmie—I know exactly what she did to you. Every burn, every cut, every scrape, every bit of damage to your liver—and I know just how many days without water, without food, or with salt water, that meant, what burns were from Shego's hands, and what ones were ju-just from a soldering iron." She paused, "I've dreamed it, over and over, and over again….sometimes you're 16, sometimes you're twelve, and sometimes you're six, screaming for your mother." Margaret dragged the back of her hand across her face, and fumbled for a Kleenex, drying her eyes.

"You want me to do this…" She paused, "I will…but I can't forget- I can't forgive her for what happened to you, and I can't have her near me, or my other children. I'm sorry baby…but I can't forgive her. I just don't have it in me." Kim paused, looking at her mother.

"And does that mean you won't let me talk to her?"

"No… Kimmie, I think you're far beyond the point where I can do that. Maybe you're right. I pray you are…but… I'm sorry." She said and bent her head, unable to meet anyone's eyes. Kim stood up, legs trembling, but managed to walk over to her mom and hugged her.

"I understand." Kim said, feeling her mothers body trembling against hers. "Mom?"

"Yes."

"You most definitely Rock." Margaret waited a few moments, then pulled back.

"Kimmie."

"Yeah, mom?"

"We'll have to tell her family." She looked at her daughter, "They have a right to know." Kim paused, then nodded.

"I understand."

* * *

Shelly woke up, slowly. She'd opened her eyes once or twice, but weakness had dragged her back down into unconsciousness. She remembered Kim's mother glaring down at her, a syringe ready to kill her, and voices, some of them raised.

But nothing inside her save herself. No mocking voice, no frantic demands… she was… alone. The roof was white, and the smell ws that of a hospital. That's right. She'd been in a hospital.

"Hi." There was a soft voice next to her bed. Kim, sitting down, looking at her. Shelly tensed.

"Don't worry." Kim said.

"I…" Shelly swallowed and continued again, "You should put me in jail."

"Why."

"Shego."

"Is she still in there?"

"I…." Shelly paused, "I don't know. I don't think so." _A mountain rising over a landscape like none seen on earth and Kindly eyes. _"_Her story is at an end…so whatever chapters beyond this, are yours to write."_

"Maybe not." Shelly continued, "But I did all those things…"

"Your body did, you mean." Kim said. "You didn't…" She paused. "I figure we should just kinda forget all about Shego and concentrate on Shelly." Shelly's hand was taken in Kim's. "Ron's on board with this, and so is everyone else that knows."

"Your mom?"

"Pissed off…and I'm afraid she isn't going to let you come over anymore, but she's not gonna try and keep me from talking or anything like that." Kim smiled, albeit with sorrow in her eyes. "No court orders from my family." Shelly looked around and realized that Ron wasn't in the room and nodded. Kim had just shared something with her—a way of saying: _I trust you. _She'd never be able to say to Ron just how terribly that had hurt her, not and have any chance of Ron getting back to his family.

"It's more than I deserve." Shelly said.

"Maybe." Kim said.

"Kim…."

"Yeah?"

"I, um… need a favor."

"What?" Shelly told her, and Kim nodded.

"We can do that."

* * *

In Shelly's ruined apartment, a few hours later, Ron and Felix hunted among the furniture.

"Boo-yah!" Ron said.

"What, what is it?" Ron didn't bother to answer, as he undid the false panel at the base of the wall. Behind it were several bundles.

"Secret stash—Shego must have set up the apartment before she ever turned herself into Shelly." Ron went through it. "Well…. False ID's…a whole bundle of 'em, bearer bonds for foreign companies, wow, look at all those gold krugerrands." he said, as he pulled out several heavy bundles. Felix blinked as the gold gleamed in the light. "Bars and coins both, and I bet these bearer bonds are pretty valuable." Ron pulled out some cards and keys., "And last but not least, safe deposit boxes… Not that these'll be useful."

"Why not?" Felix asked. He'd never forgotten that Ron was just as much involved with saving the world as Kim was.

"They probably have a code word, or serial code—and Shego wouldn't have written that down—unless we want to ah, blow our secret, we'll just have to give 'em to GJ or the FBI." Then Ron looked in at the final object. "And here you are."

It was a strange device, but Shelly had told Ron what it looked like—apparently Shego had bragged about it once or twice, although she'd not given the exact location which was why they'd just had to search the whole damned apartment. . He paused. What if this hurt Shelly? What if…

And he was hesitating and Shelly had told him what to do. Period. She'd been real specific, as well, once Kim had called him in.

"OK…let's take this outside."

"Why?"

"Most of Drakken's….gadgets tend to blow up when you break them." Ron said, as he got up and walked out of the apartment, and turned and headed towards the large empty field across the street. "If it starts sparking, run." Then he threw it, as hard as he could, at a large rock in the field…

The object, sparked once, then shattered into a dozen pieces, a thin trail of smoke rising into the sky.

"blow up?"

"Is a relative term." Ron pointed out as he turned back to the car to get a case he'd brought from Felix's house—one of the items that he and Kim had used on missions. He was sweating as he pulled it out, so Felix helped him with a repaired tentacle.

"What is this?" Felix asked.

"Lead lined…" Ron said, and looked at his Kimmunicator. "Not that there's anything according to this, but hey, better safe than sorry."

When they finished putting it in, the unit beeped. Ron answered it.

"Hey Kim…how's Shelly?"

"Resting and fine. Did you?"

"Yep… one mad scientists fountain of youth, down for the count."

"Good." Kim said. "Ron?"

"Yeah?"

"Love you."

"Love you too, KP."

"No remote Kissy face while I'm helping." Felix said.

"Why not?" Kim said from the monitor. "Especially since we've been _so_ supportive of all those tutoring sessions you and Monique have been having…."

"Hey!" Kim laughed at Felix's expression and Ron grinned, eye softening. It'd been a while since she'd laughed so naturally.

In the hospital, Kim turned back to Shelly.

"It's done. Ron destroyed it."

"Thank God." Shelly softly said, and then fell back asleep, this time a natural, restful sleep.

TBC


	17. Come Forth!

Come Forth Lazurus!

* * *

_Can't keep up the emotions_. Rabbi Katz thought. The fact of the matter was, after the events of the past several weeks, everyone…was a bit drained. Him included, but his job didn't end just because he was tired, and Margaret and Cindy were unavailable. Margaret didn't even want to be in the same _room_ as Shelly, and Cindy was keeping watch on the older woman.

And the others…. Were young. If not in the maturity sense (Katz could count on one hand _all_ the adults he knew who could have endured what Kim and Ron had—and he wasn't among them), but in the informational sense. In any case, they were scattered, either at home or in the hospital, and most of them dead asleep. It'd been that kind of night, and when the parents of Felix, Bonnie, Zita and Monique had heard the (carefully edited) course of events, they'd had a half dozen emotionally draining reunions, confrontations and generally hysterical "thank God you're ok/How could you do this!". Ron's parents had called, but not come. Some might consider that cold, but Rabbi Katz understood—too late maybe, but at least now they were honoring Ron's desires.

"Shelly." Katz said, sitting by her bed. The teen looked over at him, eyes exhausted but clear. Her burned hands were bandaged and by all examinations, she was in fine health—if anything, recovering faster than she should. Comet Power.

Katz saw the Rosary in her in her hands, and blinked, than remember. Ron had gone to her apartment and had returned… and he'd had something in his hand.

"Ron?" Katz asked. Shelly nodded, hand holding on to the Rosary.

"Yes…he brought it back." She said. There was a sense of… not passivity to her, Katz thought, but of someone who has just climbed the summit of the greatest mountain and is resting…because they've seen even greater mountains in the distance.

"We're going to have to work on some legal matters." He said, "You don't have a guardian, and while in a few years it won't matter, right now that could cause some problems." He paused, "Especially since according to Ronald you have just over three million dollars in bearer bonds and gold."

"I don't want it." She said. "It's blood money."

"Maybe, but you do need some of it." Katz looked at her. "I won't tell you to take it all—but Shelly, right now you're a teen with no family, no home, and no established place in life—that's a very big strike against you, one that money could go a long way in rectifying. There's no reason you need to take it all…but you need to keep enough of it to give yourself a starting point."

"I-"

"And as for blood money…." Katz paused, "That is only if you had a _knowing_ role in its accumulation—if not, I sincerely doubt God or man will be overly concerned." He smiled, "But after Ronald's…ah, experience with large sums of money, it'll probably be placed in a trust fund, with a court appointed guardian." That sparked some interest.

"Who?"

"Mmmm… I'm not certain." Katz said.

"I want it to be you, Rabbi."

"Me? Shelly, I'm honored, but I'm not-"

"Ron trusts you. I trust him." Shelly said, in a voice that brooked no argument. Katz shrugged.

"Well, it will be up to the court…but I'm certain they'll take your desires into account." _Which brings up another question…_ _Judge Wilkins, yes. He'll be easy to explain this too—and understand when I don't explain it all. _

"What about my apartment?"

"That's…another problem. Shelly, I don't think it's a good idea if you live alone."

"You think Shego may come back?" She asked, evenly.

"No, but I think you still have a certain amount of guilt, and aloneness is never a good thing."

"So-" Katz raised his hand.

"In fact, Felix's mother has mentioned that she's gotten used to having two other people in the house… and if things go with Ron the way I hope and pray they will, she's perfectly willing to let you live with her and Felix."

"Rabbi…." Shelly trailed off. "After everything I've…"

"Yes, after everything _you_" Katz stressed the word, "Have done. She's not inviting Shego."

"Can I think about it?"

"Certainly." Katz said. "But… Felix's mother can be…._very_ insistent."

* * *

"So when's Shelly getting out?" Kim asked Ron. A few days later, and both the teens were sitting in the van, in front of a familiar house. Ron's hand's only had light bandages, and Kim looked, save for a few bruises, like she had before Shego's sudden "reappearance" a few days ago.

"Probably in a day or so—they want to keep her under observation."

"Mom still thinks Shego is just hiding, doesn't she?" Kim said. Ron shook his head.

"She'll be thinking that for a long time, KP." Kim nodded, as they turned the corner to the house—not Kim's house.

"I still think I should stay in the car." Kim said. Ron shook his head.

"Nope. This is a package deal, KP… I'm willing to go back…but not without you. They need to understand _that_ right now." He frowned, "And I wish you would let me-"

"Demand an apology from your mom and dad?" Kim gave a small laugh, "Ron, you know they think I nearly got you killed—and they're still pissed at me. And they're _right." _Ron started to talk, but Kim overrode him. "I did get you involved and that was why you ran into Shego. They'll do this for you, in _spite_ of me, and I'm not going to risk screwing it up…because this _is_ for you. Not me." Ron pulled the car up into the driveway, and looked at Kim, taking her hand in his and kissing it.

"OK KP…" He paused, "Have I mentioned I love you?"

"Only five times in the last hour." Kim told him and leaned over to kiss him. "Ready?"

"Not even." Ron said, "Ready Rufus?" The mole rat yawned and nodded from the pocket where he'd been riding. With that, the two teens disembarked from the car and made their way to the door of Ron's house. This time, though having to walk with a deliberation far unlike her former liquid movements, Kim didn't need a crutch. Not that she was cured—far from it. Kim frowned. Needing, or not needing a crutch or wheel chair seemed to be dependent on her exercise, the stars in the sky, and whether or not a butterfly landed in South America. Still. She had Ron, and Ron had her.

Ron walked up to the door, and pausing for a moment, opened the door to his home.

* * *

_Kim's Diary_

_Wow….that was…brutal. I mean, really, really, brutal. I thought that Ron would walk out twice, and his parents thought about throwing me out, I bet. Lots of yelling and crying, and I just tried to keep quiet. So did Rufus. _

_Ron's back at his home now, and Shelly's over at Felix's. Felix's mom was pretty insistent…even if Shelly's paying rent. Felix told us that Shelly insisted. I think she still feels guilty. I guess I can see why. _

_Oh! Ron's new teeth are starting to bud—no more dentures for him….except, well you're **not**_ _going to believe this.

* * *

_

"Teething?" Ron said in the lunch room, "I'm _teething!"_

"It's kinda the way you get new teeth." Felix said.

"It's sick and _wrong!_" Ron said, looking at his lunch—a soft boiled egg, pudding, and something that looked like….eugh. Kim didn't want to know.

"It'll be over in a few weeks, maybe a month." Kim pointed out. "You should be happy that you don't have to worry about dentures."

"If I don't starve to death." Ron muttered. "Why didn't your mom warn me about this…this….horror, KP?" Kim giggled.

"Maybe she felt you could lose the weight?"

"And we can go to Bueno Nacho without fear of losing our food to the bottomless stomach." Monique said.

"You…you would go to…when I can't…. Oh why? Why have my friends deserted me!" Ron threw his head back.

"You also sound kinda mushy." Zita added, sitting on the far side of the table from Shelly. She'd been fully exposed to Shego, and so it wasn't…surprising that she was still a little nervous around her, even after a month. Kim was curled up next to Ron, in a way that probably should have had a teacher bitch at her, but for some reason they got cut just a little more slack than others…not that anyone begrudged them. Ron's teeth might grow back, but medical science was decades from being able to regenerate nerve tissue—so both he and Kim would probably bear their deeper injuries for years more. Kim's mother had worked on a prosthetic eye, one that permitted some level of sight through something that Shelly didn't understand at all—but although Ron could see out of it, it caused headaches and 'felt grainy', according to Ron, so it stayed at home until they got the bugs out of it. Shelly had winced at that, but Ron had just grinned and mentioned what a babe magnet the whole "Pirate of the Vasty main" look was, even as he pulled Kim close. Shelly shook her head. Ron was…. Ron.

"So Shelly." Kim said, "are you still up for a work out after Cheer practice?" Shelly nodded. Kim and Ron weren't on the team, but they both helped out, Ron with the new Maddog mascots (which had him complaining to no end), and Kim with organizing the team. Sometimes, Shelly caught her looking out over the floor, with her friends and former teammates bouncing around, and looking terribly sad.

She'd asked Kim about that, and Kim had given her a grin.

"I can't work with them, but I _can_ help." She paused, "And I'm not going to run away—I'll find another way to help…and not give in." Shelly nodded at that. And Kim had done exactly that. With her working to help drill the newest cheerleaders, Bonnie had been able to concentrate on the best to make them even better.

Which didn't absolve Kim from therapy and she'd asked Shelly to help her with it. Ron had visibly brightened at the idea.

"Hey, cool! The three musketeers ride again."

"Again?"

"Well, they never say: 'for the first time'." Ron had pointed out. "Well, almost never." Kim shook her head, and turned to Shelly.

"So… I kinda need you to help me with…well… it's secret." Kim finished. Shelly frowned.

"Kim… I owe you everything, but is this something dangerous?"

"Dan-_no!_" Kim said, and grinned, "It's just something I want to surprise some people with." Shelly looked at her and Kim held her gaze for a second then dropped it.

"OK…" Kim said, "I've been doing better recently." Shelly nodded at that. "Dr. Peterson thinks that part of the reason I wasn't doing so well was…well….I mean…" Kim looked embarrassed. Shelly nodded.

"That you were still dealing with the way I tortured you and Ron."

"_Shego_." Ron said, flatly, "tortured us. You didn't. You saved us." Shelly didn't argue. Ron and Kim had refused to hear anything of her apologies.

"Well." Shelly said, "If you want me, I'll help."

"Good." Kim looked conspiratorial. "But you can't tell _anyone_ else."

TBC.


	18. Selah

Selah: Pause, and consider.

* * *

_Recording of patient session._ _Patient, Dr. Margaret Possible. Attending Psychologist, Dr. James McRoe._

"_So, Margaret, we were talking about your nightmares last session, and we had to break early. Do you think you're ready now?_"

"_I wish you were Dr. Peterson…no offense."_

"_None taken, Cindy's your friend…but she's also Kim's Psychologist…and as such there are potential conflicts of interest."_

"_Yes."_

"_So, you were telling me about the dream."_

"_Um…yes, Doctor."_

"_It involves Kim being tortured, that is correct?" _

"_Yes. Only she's a little girl and sometimes just a baby, and Shego's raising her food to crush her head, after do-pardon me, I have… I can'… I need a moment." _

"_That's all right. Take your time." _

"_After all my time trying to tell Kimmie she has to…has to face it."_

"_It's not easy for anyone involved. You know that Margaret." _

"_Yes." _

"_But actually, I'm not interested in the events—you've explored them, but I do have a question about one thing."_

"_Yes Doctor?"_

"_Why has Shego changed in your dreams over the last month, from Shego, to a teenaged version of her? You haven't been forthcoming on that."_

"…"

"_Margaret… You know that only by being honest can we make progress in these sessions."_

"_Um…"_

"_Well, let's start on another subject. How are the twins and your husband coping? I've kept in touch with the school consulor, and the medical personal at the space center, but what do **you** think?"_

"_They're…doing better. The Twins and James are still angry, of course."_

"_And Kim?"_

"_Oh, she's doing **much** better."_

"_Her doctor agrees. I have to say that her friends have a great deal to do with it. Ron, Monique, Felix, Zita, Bonnie, Shelly-"_

"_What?"_

"_That's interesting. Why did you react so strongly to that last name? I understand from the files that Shelly apparently had some of Shego's powers transferred to her before Shego's death." _

"_um…"_

"_Is that it?"_

"_I…"_

"_Margaret?"_

"_I'm sorry, doctor, but I can't—it's not a matter of desire but ethics. That involves another patient of mine."_

"_I see… very well. But Margaret. You need to talk to _someone _about this, I can see."_

"_In any case, Kim **is** doing much better."

* * *

_

Margaret walked to her car, and sighed. McRoe was right, of course, but she couldn't. Not without blowing a secret. She couldn't tell James, either. Underneath his jovial exterior was a capacity for anger that sometimes frightened her—for all that almost nothing could spark it, when it was…

And Shego had sparked it. If he ever found out Shelly was Shego… she didn't know what he might do.

And the truth be told, she didn't _want_ to.

And that Kim was hanging out with Sheg-Shelly. Margaret had worked on that. No need to risk coming up with a name that might raise questions, and whatever she thought about it… the times she was pale and trembling when Kim was a little late, Kim and Ron were right. It _was_ their decision.

However much it terrified her. She kept the brainscans at home, and would occasionally pull them out (with another patients name on them, just in case James saw them) and look at them, to confirm that her brain was a normal teenagers—no sign of the memories that had gone into creating Shego.

_But then, Shego was very bright._ The little voice at the back of her head would comment. After all the times she'd fooled them, could they _really…_ She cut off the thought. Kim had made her decision and the last thing she needed was a mother who had double thought herself into galloping hysteria.

* * *

"And…._done._" Shelly said, looking at the stop watch. Kim sagged to the floor, gasping in exhaustion and pain.

"Are you OK, KP?" Ron asked.

"Yeah-yeah…" Kim said, trembling. "How was it?"

"Thirty seconds more." Shelly said. Kim gasped out and groaned.

"How come thirty seconds is always fast when you're having fun?" The teen asked the world, "That felt like it was thirty _years_."

"Ah, like last weeks math test." Ron pointed out.

"Worse."

"Nothing could be worse than math, KP." Her boyfriend mentioned, "Math requires _numbers_." Ron's shudder was a work of art. Kim laughed at that, and then frowned.

"Wow, I'm late for my meeting with Dr. Peterson… Um… Shelly, mind-" Shelly nodded. The rule about Kim being alone _hadn't_ been rescinded. Shelly felt a twinge of guilt at that. Kim could be free save for the fact that she hadn't told everyone the truth. For Shelly's sake.

Of course, Ron, being Ron, had once gallantly volunteered to take on the hard duty—for _all_ the cheerleaders, which had received a volley of whatever came to hand. From someone else, it might have sounded heartless, but Ron had turned it into a joke that had Kim laughing quite as hard as everyone else, even as she looked for something to toss in his general direction.

"So, Shelly." Kim said as she started showering, now able to stand up—for a time. "What do you think?"

"You're doing better."

"Good enough?"

"I don't…know." Shelly said honestly, "You need to also get Bonnie in on this."

"I will…but I just wanted to make certain there was some hope first…" Kim paused, "So I wouldn't waste her time." Shelly didn't nod at that. Before, Kim would have never thought about that, before… Shelly didn't continue the thought. Kim got PO'd if she saw her thinking about it.

It was frightening, in a way. Shelly read about it, and people talked about it, but to most of them, that level of forgiveness was something _other_ people did. Some of the people she'd heard talk about it most were the most vicious when they themselves were harmed… Except for Kim and Ron. Whatever they said, Shelly was Shego, who had harmed them worse than anyone else. Kim, giving up her pride, her will… her _hope_… in a little cage, knowing (Shelly felt) in her heart of hearts that Shego would kill them no matter what, but still giving it up, on the odd chance she might not… Ron taking everything he had for Kim's sake… Both drinking the bitter cup Shego had measured out for them…

There was enough wrong doing to fill a lifetimes worth of grudges there. Enough evil to demand an eternity of repayment… yet Kim and Ron had not. Not in the sense of bringing it up to show how good they were, but in the sense that at least as far as Shelly went, it was forgotten. Not that they were _safe_—they'd killed Shego, after all…or helped give Shelly the strength to do the same.

"So, do you think Bonnie will freak?" Kim asked, drying herself off. Shelly blinked for a moment, then shrugged.

"I don't think so." She smiled, "But if she does, should we bring a camera?" Kim laughed, as Shelly looked at her, at those open green eyes.

_Virtuous—_That was what described Ron and Kim. Not flawless, but the kind of dangerous virtue that might kill you…_would_ kill you if you tried to deny it…but would also transform you, burning away the dross. Kim had told Monique, and Shelly had dragged it out of Monique (for every day, the memories of Shego were dimmer and dimmer), the story of the last night with Shego's torture… _Virtue._ Or Sacrifice, for another, which was never surrender, whatever Shego might have thought. No wonder she hadn't recognized it. Shego would have never dreamed of martyring herself for another, the way both Kim and Ron had.

"Hey…_hey!"_ Kim said.

"Huh?" Shelly said, just in time to squeak at the wet towel that hit her.

"No woolgathering while I'm turning into a prune." Shelly laughed at that. As they left, Kim on her crutches, Shelly walking by her side, she saw Ron waiting by the door. Kim smiled at him, as they waved to Shelly, who headed home to the Renton's.

_Home._ Shelly thought.

* * *

Kim and Ron strolled into Dr. Peterson's office. Cindy liked to have meetings after school, for the simple fact that whatever the official guidelines about confidentiality, she was happier if there was less chance of someone dropping by unexpectedly.

"I take it you two are doing fine…" Cindy said. She paused and smiled, "Or at least well enough to get reprimanded for that PDA at lunch." Kim reddened.

"No!" Ron said, "I was looking for a coin!"

"Caught in Kim's tonsils?" The doctor said, raising her eyebrows. "Did you find it?"

"I was interrupted." Ron said, "And that cost me another double cheese pizza."

"Gah." Cindy said, "Ron, you know those are just cheese on cardboard."

"Operative word—Cheese." Ron pointed out. Cindy shook her head.

"You should know about Ron and cheese by now." Kim mentioned.

"_Everyone_ should know about me and Cheese." Ron mentioned.

"Everyone who gets between you and the Pizza does." Cindy responded. Kim laughed at that, and Cindy, giving no sign, watched the teens.

_Better. Much, much better. _Not perfect, of course. Kim still had nightmares, and so did Ron, but they were declining in intensity and number. Cindy would have been worried if they'd just stopped, but the…. End of Shego, to say nothing of Ron's decision to seek rapprochement with his family, however uncertain and fraught with difficulty it had been, had definitely led to a certain amount of closure.

The sessions were much easier—Kim no longer tired to conceal her fears, and so the talk was much more like a _talk_, without Kim trying to hide and Cindy trying to discover what she was really thinking.

"Yeah. I still…sometimes have night mares." Kim said. "Most of the time they're… pretty vague." Cindy nodded.

"That's to be expected. Just because you've faced the problem doesn't mean it will vanish." Kim nodded, and gestured at the crutches she used.

"I know that." She said, ruefully.

"I hear that you may be able to graduate to a cane for good in the next few months." Kim smiled at that. Sometimes she could use a cane right now. Sometimes she had to use crutches…and some times, Kim sat, face pale and drawn with pain, in a wheelchair for the entire day. The idea that she might _only_ need a cane, and that not all the time…

"Yes!" She said, with only a flicker of shadow in her eyes.

"And you're still working with Shelly in these after school exercises…" Cindy continued. She paused, "that you've been keeping secret from your mother and doctor."

_Oops_. The look was plain on Kim's face.

"Oh, well… I'm not ignoring… I mean…" She paused, flustered. "I think they're a little too worried about me—they don't want to push me too far."

"And you think you can recover all the way?" Cindy asked, carefully.

"No." Kim said, quietly, no amusement in her face. Cindy raised an eyebrow.

"I'll get better." Kim said, and suddenly her hand sought out Ron's holding it as he patted her hands comfortingly. "But I'll never be the old Kim." She sighed. "I…" She paused for a moment. "It sounds stupid." Kim said and fell silent.

"What?"

"I almost _died_. _Ron_ almost died. Ron lost h-his eye…" Ron was patting her hand in a soothing way, and Kim found herself gripping Ron's hand. "So it's stupid that sometimes I wake up crying bec-" She broke off, looking anywhere else, eyes blinking as Ron pulled her close, holding her. Cindy didn't say a thing, and moments later, Kim continued, her voice slower.

"Because it hurts to walk to the bathroom." She said, "Because my 'progress' is that I'll just need a cane to lean on when I'm tired, instead of crutches, or a wheelchair... Because sometimes it hurts so much when I see a video of our old games, or some news show with a camera of me tumbling across a room, dodging laser beams and I'll _never be able to do it again!"_ That last came out as a near wail.

_Anger._ _Good. _Kim and Ron were some of the most generous people Cindy had ever met, especially given their decision RE Shego/Shelly. But they were not _in_human, and it would have been inhuman to not feel anger at her life being so radically changed.

"So right now you're?"

"Trying to push it as far as I can." Kim said, "I may not ever be able to do what I did…but I'm _never_ going to be satisfied with anything less than 110 of what I _can_ do." Cindy didn't laugh at the mathematical impossibility. Those who settled for "100" somehow always found themselves in reality, settling for 90, or even less. Her younger brother could write sermons on that, in his current life (only those who were clueless called it a "job") in the Marine Force Recon.

"Good." She said, "I know you're working with Shelly, and Ron, so listen to them if they say you need to give it a rest."

"Yes Ma'am." Kim said, the extra formality underscoring the fact that she would do just that. She looked over at Ron.

"And you, Mr. Cheese-food-products-fear-me?" Ron still talked with Rabbi Katz, but he also spoke with Cindy, and in any case, it helped Kim now, when he was around.

"Things are pretty good—that artificial Eye still itches, though." He shrugged. "And the interface seems more…grainy then my regular eye." Cindy had been kept up to date by Dr. Possible and nodded.

"Putting a camera into an eye, _and_ the neural interface, stretched technology as it was, Ron."

"Yeah." Ron said, grinning, "So, I use it when I need it, but other than that…" He shook his head, lopsided grin growing.

"And your parents?" Ron's smile failed slightly, and now It was Kim's turn to hold his hand.

"We're…" He paused, shrugged, "working on it." Cindy nodded.

"Not easy, is it." She said softly. Ron shook his head, all amusement gone.

"Not after what they did…" He said, and Kim held his hand comfortingly. Ron paused. "I know why…now." He looked down at his feet. "But that still doesn't excuse…"

"And what if it was your and Kim's child?" Cindy asked, which brought them both up with a start. Ron blinked, and then smiled, a ghostly expression.

"I thought about that, and I… I understand, Doctor…" He sighed, "But it's still hard to forgive. _Really_ hard." Nothing was said, then Kim quietly mentioned.

"It must be hard for them to forgive _me_ Ron."

"They-" Kim cut off Ron's exclamation with a finger to his lips.

"They were right, Ron…" Kim said, "Shego was going after me." She sighed, "They didn't say anything, I haven't thought." Ron frowned, and then gave in.

"OK, KP." He said, and Cindy got the sense that this conversation had been held before. To be expected—Kim's family was her bulwark, and it didn't take a psychologist to realize how much the possibility that she'd destroyed _Ron_'s family hurt her.

_And who says teens can't be mature._ Cindy thought, although with sorrow, she also had to admit that these two were no longer really, in many respects teens. She shook herself and smiled.

"Well, I have to admit that between the two of you, you've made more progress than I ever could have dreamed…even after we veered into science fiction territory." She nodded once, "If it were up to me, Kimberly, I would end the "never alone" policy, but…" She sighed, "The school board is unwilling to do so, and I have to see their point."

"So do I." Kim said, "I did some research—they really _did_ go beyond what they had to do, didn't they?"

"Yes, and contrary to a lot of movies, not all officials are solely concerned with their position." Cindy stood up, and smiled at the two. "So what are your plans for this wonderful Friday eventide?"

"Well, I was considering…." Kim abruptly looked at Ron, and he raised his hands. "No, KP, I promised!"

"Promised what?" Cindy asked.

"No Bueno Nacho for tonight." He abruptly smiled, "We're going to a non-fast food restaurant."

"Ah." Cindy said,

"And then…" Kim commented, cuddling into Ron in a much more romantic gesture than she'd used earlier, "a movie…_my_ choice." Ron gave an elaborate shudder, not masking his true pleasure at all.

"See, Doctor!" Ron said, "I'm going to see a chick flick, with no space ships, explosions, kung-fu masters, or car chases!" He paused, and looked at her, widening the one eye theatrically, "Is my love not true!"

"They'll write songs about this night." Cindy said, laughing. "Get lost, you two."

"C'mon, Ron." Kim said, as she got to her feet, and Cindy noticed, Ron didn't help, even though he was in position to catch her if she fell. "Time to go eat so you can prepare yourself for the horror to come." Cindy smiled as the two left. When the door closed, her smile faded. So they would be out. Margaret had said they would…

Which meant they could have what promised to be a very, very unpleasant meeting, at Kim's house.

* * *

TBC. 


	19. Past Lives, Present Questions

Past Lives, Present Questions

* * *

"Are you finished, dear?" Sarah Renton asked, as Shelly finished washing the dishes. Sarah didn't sigh—she had cybertronic systems that could do that, but Shelly liked to work—or, more accurately, _needed_ to work. Cindy had mentioned, but Sarah hadn't needed to be told, that the younger version of Shego was carrying much older guilt on her shoulders, whatever she might say.

And, she was in some ways happy for it. Not the pain it caused Shelly, no, but the simple fact that the capacity to _feel_ guilt was a better indication of just how far different she was from Shego than anything else.

"Now I am." Shelly said, turning. The scarf over her hair was brightly colored, her hair in a long braid down her back, while her modest dress brought color to the room, gold and crimson patterns chasing each other along the fabric. Shego had enjoyed showing her body off and loved green and black, Shelly dressed modestly (well when she wasn't doing cheerleading) and preferred gold and red. Neither Sarah nor Dr. Peterson were certain if this was simply what she'd like when she'd been 17 or a more conscious renunciation. Shelly hadn't stated it and both women respected her privacy.

Felix was gone—he was on a date with Monique, and Shelly had quickly realized that his mom knew a _great_ deal more about how close they were than either Monique or Felix realized. She knew that Felix had been crippled as a young child, in the same accident that had taken his father's life, but while Monique appeared to be his first serious girl friend, he certainly didn't lack for friends. Still, Monique and Felix looked to be serious… Evidently, Dr. Renton approved of Monique. Shelly wasn't' certain if she approved of _her._ Dr. Renton knew who she was, for real…but hadn't said anything about it. Shelly didn't know what to make of that.

"How's school?"

"Well…fine." Shelly said, she paused, "Except computing."

"Hmm?"

"_All_ the memories are going. I remember using 286's." Shelly shrugged, "I'm not upset, but it's…like I'm a time traveler, in some ways." Sarah paused, and looked at her.

"What?" Shelly asked.

"I hadn't thought of it that way…" Sarah commented. You were 17 in…1993, right?"

"Yeah."

"And you…" She paused, "I don't think any of us had ever thought of this…do you _remember_ the comet?"

"Yeah… but not the whole TeamGo thing…I remember it had hit the tree house after I'd gone up to get the Twins, and Hank was raving about how this was our ticket out of the orphanage…"

* * *

Dr. Possible paced the room like a caged lioness. Cindy had told her who was coming and she'd reacted… about like Cindy had expected. Fortunately, Both James and the Twins were gone for the night. Technically, it was for some "me time" for their mother, but James had also known that Cindy was coming by, and had evidently decided that the Twins should be somewhere else in case Cindy and Margaret had to discus sensitive matters.

Hopefully, when he got back, there wouldn't be holes in the house. Cindy _really_ hoped there wouldn't be holes in the house. Cindy heard the sound of a car in the Driveway, and looked over at Dr. Possible. There was a knock on the door…and when Margaret went to open it, there was Hego, standing in the doorway, making it look a little too small for his size.

"Hello, Dr. Possible." He said, uneasily. They hadn't spoken since Kim had been recovered, and Hego had called to express his condolences. Margaret had had few words for him, mainly having to do with asking why he hadn't cleaned up his own messes. She hadn't really, Cindy knew, wanted to talk to him at all…

But he was the eldest relative of Shelly, who was a minor, and Margaret was a doctor.

"Hank Carlson." Cindy said, "Let's dispense with the silly team names, shall we?"

"Very well." He said, sitting down, still looking at Margaret, who hadn't said a thing to him yet.

"Shelly Liu, AKA, Shego, is alive." Cindy said.

"That's a lie!" Hank said, shooting to his feat, blue aura rising. "I saw the evidence, she's de- dead." He said, stutter in his voice.

"That's what she wanted everyone to think." Margaret said, speaking up, her voice soft. She used a device of Drakkens to regress her age, give her a combination of false memories and the memories she had when she was 17, and used it to get close to my daughter and Ronald." Hank looked around, and Cindy saw a dreadful fear start to bloom on his face, and she quickly spoke.

"They're both okay—Shego's… plan backfired, which is why you're here."

"Back…Shelly…Alive…." Hank seemed to be in shock.

"Good choice of words." Cindy said, "Margaret, you're the brain surgeon…if you please?" Kim's mother looked at her and than started talking.

"In layman's terms, Shego de-aged herself, using a treatment that would have been fatal to anyone else…but she also de-aged her brain…permanently, it turned out. She no longer has the memories, or…" Margaret sighed, "Any sign that she's anything else than a 17 year old girl."

"Even the weakest memories of her life beyond 17 are fading…"

"She's…" Hank paused, "No. Why are you doing this? I'm sorry she tortured your daughter, my God, I said it to you. She can't be alive. Not possible. We…the Twins…Michael, we'd only just accepted that she was gone, forever, for good or ill…this can't be true." Cindy sighed. It was a good thing she'd suggested Margaret make some of her tea…the kind that calmed the nerves. She poured a cup and gave it to Hank, watching as over half slopped over the edge as he brought it, shaking, to his mouth. He stopped. Closed his eyes, as the two women, saw him physically stop himself from shaking. Then, he opened his eyes, and looked at them.

"Tell me everything."

* * *

Somehow, Shelly found herself talking to Sarah about the orphanage.

"I'd always wondered…don't get me wrong, but there didn't seem to be much of a family resemblance…"

"The Asian thing?" Shelly asked,.

"Among others." Sarah said back to the teen, as they sat in her living room. Shelly laughed softly.

"I was a boat baby—I never knew my parents, but a U.S. Navy ship picked me up floating on a raft near Vietnam. They sent me to an orphanage in the U.S. Hank…his parents had been killed in a car wreck, and the Twins never said what had happened to theirs. They still…" She shook her head, "Or I don't know, maybe they did, later."

"And Mego?"

"Michael? Oh, his dad liked to smack him around, so he was always in and out." She sighed, "Hank and I…kinda took care of the others." She shrugged, "I guess that didn't last too long after the comet."

"No…" Sarah said quietly, "How did you get along with them?"

"Oh, the twins were loud, Michael was always about himself, Hank was… hah, well Hank." She looked down at her hands. "We were going to be split up—Hank was almost 18, and I wasn't far behind, so that was it, and the others weren't handling it too well, so we went out back to talk to them—they had this treehouse, see where they could get away.… and then we got smacked by a comet."

"And then…"

"Then Hank proclaimed it was a sign, and we were going to save the world. He really read too many comics…and after that…" She made an irritated grabbing gesture at the empty air. "Nothing."

"How long were you in the orphanage?"

"From three on—Hank was there from five on, but well…" Shelly grinned without humor, "I was Asian in a time when you could still get away with calling me 'Gook' and anyway, old kids aren't cute—they don't get picked. I just figured I'd make the best of it."

Sarah leaned back, and wondered.

_What happened to you, Shelly? Why did Shego appear?

* * *

_

Hego had known about what Shego had done—if not all the details. Margaret had to confess to herself the desire to punish him by relating everything…then rising above the temptation and simply giving him the brief version, most of which he'd heard. Than she went on to Shego's resurrection as "Shelly", and the events that went after. Nearly an hour had passed by the time she'd finished.

"She never let us call her Shelly, after…"

"After what, Hank." Cindy said quietly. "This is important."

"H-how?"

"Because, if this Shelly is like she was…" Cindy paused, "Call it professional curiosity, but I just don't see Shego in Shelly…and normally, you can see the inklings of a persons later life by the time they're teens—yet Shelly shows none of it. She's almost the polar opposite of Shego." The psychologist looked at him, "Some of that can be explained by her desire to consciously deny Shego, but not all of it."

"I don't know… but Shelly…she always hated being out of control—she was _furious_ when she realized that we wouldn't be allowed to stay together once she and I were 18—she'd worked and convinced herself that she could adopt the twins and Michael…"

"But she had control—once the comet hit."

"Shelly never saw it that way…" Hank sighed, "I'm afraid it was my fault. I was so…" He paused, and looked at Dr. Possible. "It was so _wonderful_, Dr. Possible. One minute I was looking forward to a life of fast food—no college for orphan kids, and than…then we were heroes. We could do _anything_."

"And you built the tower."

"The city did, actually. Shelly said they were just hanging on to us, just like the orphanage had. Just like everyone had."

"Was she…religious?"

"She was Catholic…but I don't say she was tremendously religious…why?"

"She's no fanatic, but I'd say Shelly is far more than just a casual Christian." Cindy said.

"And she left…"

"On the eve of our greatest victory." Hego said softly.

* * *

"_No, dammit!"_ _Shego as she demanded to be called, at **all** times now, snarled as she paced around the table._

"_But Sis… what's the problem?" Michael said, "It's a great deal!"_

"_What—we get to clean up their messes for them?" The Beautiful Asian women snarled at them all. _

"_We'll be **official!**" The Wego's said in unison._

"_No, we'll be their dog catchers… this doesn't come with any pay, or any law enforcement rights, does it—just obligations!"_

"_Sis…. The police play an important role…and we have a duty-"_

"_BULL!" Shego's voice stopped Hego in his tracks. "It's like the orphanage. 'good kids get ahead. Good girls always get to go off to good homes. We'll _never _split you up.' Remember how that ended? This is just another one of their lies that they like to use. I say if they want us, they **pay** for us." _

"_Sis, that's not how things are done-" Hego had been walking towards her, to try to calm her down when he found himself flying backwards. Shego glared at them all, furious, green fire rolling off her. _

"_Well it isn't for me! I'm going to get paid, and paid well. Who's with me?" She looked around, and suddenly, Hego thought he saw a terrible look in her face as nobody moved towards her. _

"_Not you, Michael?"_

"_I'll…stay here, Sis." _

"_What about you, William, Walsh?"_

"_Sis… these people need us." She looked at them, and snarled, an obscenity. _

"_Fine. Enjoy your stay." Shego turned and marched towards the door._

"_Sis…" Hego said, "Don't… you don't need to go." For a moment, a tiny moment, he thought she would come back and they could work it out…but she shook her head, slightly, a tremor running through her body, before she stilled it._

"_No." She said, "You're wrong. I do need to go." And with that, she left the big control room that Hego had had designed to look like some of the rooms he'd fantasized about in his comic books. Somehow…none of them had felt so empty in his mind…and there had always been five of them standing together…not four in a room suddenly large and cold…_

TBC.


	20. talking

Talking.

* * *

"Interesting…" Cindy said, and paused, "And after that, she becomes obsessed with contracts…and still later, obsessed with Kim Possible. It makes a great deal of sense."

"Oh?" Margaret asked. Hank also looked at the psychologist.

"How, Doctor?" He said, mind still partially in the past.

"_Control_" It all boils down to an ever increasing need for control." Cindy looked out the window. "And of course, the way it expressed in her, no amount of control was ever enough, because nobody—_nobody_, has perfect control over her life."

"Oh, that makes it all right, than." Margaret said, thinking of her daughter.

"Margaret, take this as a suggestion from a friend. Don't get snarky with me." Cindy said, in annoyance. She sighed, "Understanding does not mean giving a free pass. Lot's of people have control issues, but few of them decide to torture the source of their frustrations."

"Kim?"

"Of course—the one source she never could control, and since according to what I understand, Shego was _fired_ by Dr. Drakken, she was also thrown back to square one."

"But to do what she did…" Hank said, still looking at them.

"Murderers come from somewhere, Hank." Cindy said quietly. "They all have in their past, some little kid discovering a bug for the first time, or asking why the stars twinkle."

* * *

"Every time we were moved, or we heard that we might be broken up…" Shelly said softly, "I'd talk to the others and then go hide so they wouldn't hear me." Sarah didn't say anything. Shelly continued.

"My worst dream, the most terrible nightmare, was that we'd be split up…" She laughed, and there was bitterness in it. "And so apparently, the first thing I did when we were finally in a position where we never _would_ be split up was to walk away." She shook her head, "How's that for irony."

"Pretty good." Sarah said, and Shelly looked at her in surprise. "You'd be surprised at how many people have done just that—for good reasons, bad reasons, or no reason at all."

"Not many of them go on to become terrorists and torturers."

"No. Not many of them do." Sarah said. Shelly didn't like being lied to, and Sarah didn't lie to people, in any case. "And now…here you are, back at the first step."

"Well, except everyone else is older…and I…" Shelly shook her head. "I've thought about calling the GoTower." She laughed, more naturally, "Hank, you and your names. I bet the only reason it wasn't called the Hall of Justice was because someone copyrighted that name."

"Why don't you?"

"I'm afraid." Shelly said. "I don't know what I did, I don't remember it…and a lot isn't even written down. What if I did something to where they hate me? What if I just hurt them more? Shego seemed really good at hurting people, you know? After what I did to Kim and Ron… do I really have a right to even speak to my… my family?"

"Yes." Sarah said. "You're their sister. That doesn't just give you the right, but the responsibility…" She didn't mention about what Margaret had told her. They would all have to manage this carefully.

"I guess." Shelly said, doubtfully.

"So, what's on the list for tomorrow?" Sarah continued. Shelly gratefully took up the new subject.

"Well, Kim and Ron want to go out and see a new movie." She paused, "Or maybe Ron does. I don't think _Return of the Zombie Cyborg Yak_ is quite up to Kim's standards."

"Aren't they seeing a movie tonight?" Shelly laughed.

"Yes, and that's why they're seeing another movie tomorrow. Ron's price for being seen at a chick flick." Sarah laughed, joining in with the teen. Something's never did change.

* * *

"Is she?" Hank asked. Cindy shook her head.

"Not at all like the control obsessed Shego…or even Shelly, I'd bet." Cindy paused, sipped her own tea and looked out.

"Something happened that night, Hank. Something more than just memory engrams changing, or Shego losing to Shelly. Shelly made a Choice. A choice to die rather than give into Shego." She paused, "She was brave wasn't she, when you were at the orphanage."

"The Bravest." He said, memories of long past days in his eyes.

"Ah. I thought so. It explains how Shego fell so far—to quote Lewis, you don't make demons out of bad mice… you make them out of bad Archangels. All those gifts…twisted." She shook her head. "In any case, I think that explains a lot of it—she's not acting like she's out of control because she _isn't_—she took control in a way she's never had it before."

"Control—from what you said, she almost committed suicide!" Hank burst out.

"No. There's a difference. She wasn't saying the world was too hard for her, whatever she thinks. Shelly was saying that her life was not worth more than her friends. Control, because whatever happened, that would remain _her_ choice." She shrugged, "And maybe, just maybe, on the part of Shego, suicide. Once again, her quest foiled…" She shook her head, "I don't know. That's way off in the blue sky speculation territory."

"So….what do I do?" Hank asked. Looking at the two women, he appeared much younger than his pictures, a look of pleading on his face.

"What do you want to do? I warn you, if you think she should come back and be a hero again, her powers are-"

"_No!_" That burst out of Hank, silencing Cindy. "No." he said, quietly. "Not that." Cindy looked surprised.

"Why not?"

"You… you say that…" He stopped, and continued, "After Avarius tried to take our powers, I thought that maybe things would go back, that Sheg-Shelly would come back. She didn't." He paused again, "Everything started going wrong the moment we left the orphanage." Hank said, accepting what he'd so long wanted to deny.

"So what do you want?" Margaret asked. Hank looked down at his tea for a long moment, and Margaret almost repeated herself. Then he looked back up and she saw the tears streaking his face.

"To see my little sister again. To try to help her… if I can." Was all he said. Margaret and Cindy looked at each other.

"Then we'll help." Dr. Possible said. Cindy paused, and thought.

_Saturday…Saturday afternoon._ _Yes, That will work.

* * *

_

Saturday dawned bright and early, as Kim and Ron came by to drag Shelly to the movie. There was no practice this Saturday, and so the entire day was free and clear. Monique was working at Club Banana, and Felix was going shopping.

"Want to bet "shopping" consists of hanging around waiting for her lunch break?" Kim asked. She was walking today, and right now the cane was more of a symbol than tool-- that would change in a few hours. Ron and Shelly spoke simultaneously.

"No bet." Felix and Monique, were to use her terms, GTATH, or Glued Together At The Hip.

"I'm telling you, they're…" Ron trailed off as he saw the bus.

* * *

Karl Stevens enjoyed driving the bus. Normally, he didn't on the weekday, but the third grade class had special permission to go on a day trip, so here he was, driving them to the museum. Normally, there would be a teacher, but she'd taken ill, and Karl was handling supervising.

It wasn't a problem. He had a way with children, as befitted a retired engineer who had six of his own—and a number of grandchildren. He was in fac-

A giant hand grabbed him by the chest and squeezed all the air out of his lungs.

_Oh God. No. Not now…_ He tried to pull over, to talk, to do something…anything….

But he only slumped over the steering wheel, his feet slamming down the accelerator.

* * *

"Look out!" Ron shouted as He pulled Kim to the side, with Shelly moving fast, barely avoiding the bus as it hit the side of the building they'd been walking beside. At the last minute, it had slewed to the side, dumping a lot of the momentum, and probably, Ron bet, saving the life of the driver.

Unfortunately, Ron could hear dozens of panicked shrieks coming from the bus. He quickly ran to the emergency doors, with Kim and Shelly with him. Kim was limping slightly, but the look on her face warned him about the likely consequences of telling her to stay put. Ron opened the emergency door…and wished he hadn't. There were kids piled on top of kids—the bus may have lost momentum, but it had no seat belts, and the children had been flung around like toys. Crying, screaming, and in a few cases, ominous silence came from the figures on the floor and in the chairs.

And worse, Ron smelled the thick scent of gasoline.

Contrary to Hollywood. Gas seldom exploded in an auto wreck.

But it _burned_ just fine.

TBC.


	21. Emergency

Emergencies...

* * *

"Oh my God." Shelly said, as she came up, Kim right behind her.

"Shelly, you and Ron help the kids." Kim said, "I'll get the driver."

"But-" Ron said, Kim cut him off.

"There's no _time_ Ron. The driver had a heart attack—look!" And Ron saw the blue lips of the bus driver, slumped against the steering column. He wasn't breathing. "You two get the kids—_now!". _

Ron paused, looked at Kim's grimly set lips, and nodded.

_This isn't her Kimness talking. We really _don't _have time. _

"Shelly, C'mon." Ron said. Kim was right. If the kids were trapped, or needed medical attention… And in any case, Kim couldn't go into the twisted wreckage back in the bus—if her legs gave out there, she'd be a bigger problem than the kids. At least up front…

* * *

Kim ignored Ron and Shelly as she looked at the driver. Technically, you shouldn't move someone…but right now, he wasn't breathing and he needed to be given CPR, and you couldn't do that on a burning bus or on someone slumped over a wheel. Possible paralysis vs. Burning alive or dying from a heart attack? Motion to move carried, two to one. Kim ran up, ignoring the sounds from the back of the bus, where Ron and Shelly were. The smell of gas was in the air, and she knew that the moment it caught fire it'd engulf the bus in seconds. She reached down and grabbed him, opening the side doors as far as they would go, and winced at his weight.

Ron was back in the bus, looking at the kids. Kid with broken arm, check, kid with bloody face from where she'd smacked into the seat check.

"Can you walk?" Ron asked, and there were some nods. "Good, go out the door and sit on the _side_ of the building—don't go anywhere else. The police are coming." One sniffling girl looked up and recognized him.

"You're Kim's friend."

"Sure am."

"Is everything going to be ok?"

"Sure is."

"OK." She said, and headed out of the bus. Shelly watched them go.

_Kim and Ron—names to conjure victory with. Even battered and nearly broken, they had the power to banish fear. _

Now they were left with five children. Two with broken legs, two unconscious but breathing, and one tangled up in the twisted wreckage of a chair that had come loose, but hadn't crushed anyone, thank god.

"Damn." Ron breathed. "Of all the times not to have mission gear—the laser would have come in real handy right about now." Shelly was bending over one of the children with the broken leg.

"HURTS!" The girl screamed, tears falling down her face, "I WANT MOMMY!" Another screamed.

"I know." Shelly said, as she checked the child for bleeding even as Ron checked to make certain the unconscious ones and the trapped child were breathing. "Mommy's coming, and everything is going to be ok."

_Unless the bus catches fire.

* * *

_

Kim was struggling, lifting the man up and out. She could already smell smoke and there was no _time_ to wait for the police, even as sirens from a dozen different directions started approaching. Her legs burned with the stress.

_How can I do this? I'm not even… I'm a half cripple myself._

_Stop whining. You're here. Ron and Shelly have to save the kids. You'll do it._

_I will?_

_Because you have to. Because there is nobody else to help. That's what you wanted to do, isn't it? Help people? Nobody said it would only be when **you **were ready. _

The driver was heavy, the kids were screaming, and her legs..

_Oh God no. Don't give out. Not here, not now, not when so much depends…_

It was like walking with ground glass in her bones. She felt herself slip, start to fall. Kim bit her lip and gasped. The pain… They were at the door, but they couldn't just stop that close. There was the sidewalk, where the kids were huddled. Where the hell were other bystanders? There had to be some other people who could help… Her legs started to give, and Kim bit her lip. Another step. Oh God. Not going to make it. I'm going to fall here, and I'll block the door…

_NO. No! You will NOT fail me right now. _Kim commanded her legs to move, setting her will against the blazing agony that shot up them, the weakness thatthreatened to betray her. The agony redoubled, until Kim wondered if somehow burning gas had coated her legs and she hadn't noticed, but she pulled the driver the last few feet to safety. By the end, she was crawling, dragging him with her, but she made it to a safe distance, and started immediately checking him.

Lips blue, no breathing.

* * *

In a Hollywood movie, Ron could have slung the kids over his back and ran out with them—right before the bus exploded.

Except Hollywood movies never bothered to talk to doctors about what could happen if you tried to move someone with internal injuries, or worse, spinal injuries. Dr. Possible had. The kids who were unconscious, or showing signs of pain _couldn'_t just be moved like that. Not unless he wanted to risk paralyzing them.

But burning alive was never fun either, and right now the one trapped child couldn't be moved at all. The bars had curled around her waist holding her tight and her hysterical sobbing was infecting the other kids, even more than they had been.

If worst came to worst, they could run the four free kids out, praying that they wouldn't permanently injure them…

Dammit, where was the help?

* * *

Kim started breathing for the driver. Her legs didn't work at all, after what she'd demanded of them. She had to depend on Ron and Shelly.

"Kim?" A voice came. Kim didn't stop breathing for the driver, but she recognized that voice. Bonnie. Bonnie and Brick and some others.

"Here." Bonnie said, moving down beside Kim, and started compressing the drivers chest. Barkin had said that no football player or cheerleader who turned out to have an undiagnosed heart condition was going to die on his watch—so every football player and cheerleader had to be CPR certified as a condition of their membership.

Brick wasn't waiting, as he ran for the bus. Zita and Monique followed him.

_What is it about all our friends._ Kim wondered. _They always run **to** the sound of the guns. _

"He's still not breathing." Kim said, pausing, and going back to her work.

"I can't feel a pulse." Bonnie said, "Don't die on me—I'm going out with Brick later tonight and that would put a real damper on it." She muttered to the unconscious driver.

* * *

"Hey Stoppable." Brick said, coming in, followed by Zita and Monique. "What do you need?"

"A miracle." Ron said, and shook his head. "Lots of possible back and neck injuries, Brick." Brick nodded. He wasn't the brightest bulb, he'd be the first to acknowledge, but anyone in sports understood what _that_ meant.

"Hang on." He said and quickly moved outside as Monique and Zita came forward. Shelly had managed, partially to calm the two children with injured legs down.

"I don't think they've been hurt anywhere else." She said, "Monique, you and Zita need to get them off the bus. Now." Then, to the children.

"This is going to hurt, ok? But can you help us, right?" The two nodded, and Shelly realized that shock was probably setting in. Brick came back…with part of a bench, the two heavy wooden planks light in his hands. Evidently, he'd simply ripped them off the bolts that normally held the wood onto the bench.

"I tried to open the back doors, but no way man, they're messed up-- But we can use these to get the kids out. "

"Right on." Ron said, as the five quickly put the two children with the broken legs onto the planks and Brick and Ron, Zita and Monique carried them out. Shelly remained behind, holding the hand of the trapped girl.

"We should have taken the others first." She breathed.

"No." Ron said, "I hope the fire fighters will get here first—they can open up the side of the bus, _and _they know better than us, how to move them without hurting them." None of them pointed out the obvious—unconscious was far more serious in reality than it was in the movies.

Then there was a hollow "whumpf" as the gasoline caught fire, and suddenly the bus was partly engulfed in flames. The four came charging back up.

"No time to wait." Ron gritted. "get the other two off, We'll get the last one out." Brick nodded and Monique and zita put one of the unconscious children on a plank while Brick easily managed the other by himself. They headed up the increasingly smoke choked bus.

"Shelly." Ron said, "You have to…"

"No." Shelly said, turning pale, "I can't, I'm not her."

"The power is still there." Ron pointed out, "That's why you didn't' turn to goo when the juvinator was used." He looked back, "The firefighters won't be here in time." The child had gone beyond screaming and was clinging to Shelly, burying her face in the teen's blouse, trying to make the world go away, her whimpers barely audible.

"But…no…" Ron looked at her, saw naked terror in her eyes which had nothing to do with the flames.

"Shelly, if you don't, the kid will die, you'll die, I'll die!" He said, "There's no other way!"

_No, I can't, I'm not her. I don't WANT to be her. _

_They'll die. They'll burn. Can you live—or die, with that?_

Then, with a roar and sudden blast of heat, the flames were licking inside the bus compartment.

And Shelly felt agony bloom in her hands.

* * *

Outside, Brick charged forward, and Zita and Monique grabbed him.

"Let go!" he shouted, "They're still in there!" Monique was pale but didn't let go, looking at the one formerly clear way in, wreathed in flame. Then, there was an explosion that caused the teens to jump, the kids to scream and the onlookers to gasp as the side of the bus seemed to _come apart_, the fires almost seeming to be sucked away, as three figures leaped out and over them. Ron was holding the girl in his arms, and quickly lay her down away from the bus, as the first firetruck rounded the corner.

Ron blinked. It had only been… he looked at his watch. Less than five minutes. He'd never get used to how slow things seemed to go when there was trouble.

"Got them out…" he breathed, "Got everyone out…Oh God." As usual, the reaction that he normally covered in clowning came on, but he guessed that after Shego and everything, he wasn't as good at it anymore, as he found himself sitting on the ground, breathing fast. Bonnie and Kim were still working on the bus driver, Kim's legs sprawled out behind her like dead things. Ron got up unsteadily and walked over as the first paramedics showed up and took over, displacing Bonnie and Kim without apology, as they set up the link with the hospital and laid out the tools of their trade. Now there were others, bystanders police, the firefighters dousing the bus or attending to the kids.

"Hey…where's Shelly?" Zita asked. Ron blinked, looked up and down the street.

Just in time to catch a last glimpse of Shelly, burned hands held against her body, vanishing around the corner, crying.

TBC.


	22. Meetings

"_'Quickly, bring out a robe--the best one--and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. And get the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; for this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' And they began to celebrate."_

_Luke 15. Parable of the Prodigal Son.

* * *

_

Ron had expected to go after Shelly _right then_… but there were statements to be taken, and people to be reassured, even a few news people, although at least for now, Kim was able to plead fatigue, so she wasn't badgered.

That last wasn't a lie. Kim was trembling, pale, and she'd needed Ron's help to get on a bench Brick hadn't destroyed. She looked so bad, in fact, that the paramedics had refused to just "let her rest" and had lain down an ultimatum—call her mother, or they'd transport her to the hospital themselves. Kim didn't blow up at them… either because she understood why they were doing it, or because she really was that tired. In fact, he thought, only the fact that they had a large number of people going to the hospital had prevented them from just transporting her.

Evidently her mother had been at the hospital, or someone had her on speed dial, because she showed up less than ten minutes later, with Cindy. Kim got a look on her face at that. More irritation than anger, Ron thought. Then another guy got out of the van. A BIG guy… Ron Blinked.

Hego.

Even with everything that had changed, Ron felt a bit of anger. Shego had, after all, been part of Team Go, and if they hadn't dropped the ball, maybe none of this would have happened…. To Kim _or_ Shelly.

"What happened?" Margaret said.

"The bus driver had a heart attack." Kim said. "We were the only ones here." Margaret looked at her legs, and Kim frowned. "Mom… Ron and Shelly had to get the kids—nobody else could get the driver, so I did…it's.." She almost started on her trade mark phrase, but her legs twitched and Kim hissed in pain. "What I had to do." She finished.

"I know." Her mother said, face softening.

"Where's Shelly?" Cindy asked, as Hego leaned forward. Ron frowned, looking around at the crowd. "Right." Cindy said, "Let's get into the van." She paused, "After we give our statements to the police."

That went quickly, fortunately. Kim and Ron both had had long experience of accurately relating what had happened, and in any case, the cause of the accident was fairly obvious. The oddly damaged interior of the bus fortunately didn't come up, as the bus had been completely engulfed by flame not long after everyone had gotten out.

Quickly, Dr. Possible drove the group back to Sarah's house—Kim had to get her legs worked on quickly, or she'd likely be all but crippled for the next several days.

Once inside the house, Margaret had Kim's legs stretched out and started rubbing an ointment into them with firm motions, as Kim sat, only the occasional twitch or grunt betraying her pain. Ron frowned, but didn't say anything. It had to be done after all. Sarah had waited until the immediate needs were met, and then:

"What happened?" Sarah asked, and listened while Ron told her. "Damn" She said softly.

"I…I don't understand." Hank said, sounding far more diffident than Ron or Kim had ever heard him. "She helped save them."

"Using Shego's powers." Cindy said, looking at Sarah. Kim started to talk, but then hissed and clenched her hands as her mother hit a knot of tense muscles.

"I'm sorry, Kimmie."

"It's OK, mom." Kim said, voice tense against the pain. "It's… getting better."

"Good." Her mother said.

"But…she saved the kids." Kim said, echoing Hank's statement. Sarah sighed.

"But not herself." She shrugged, "Shelly talks to me…and she also…" She paused, and thought about it. She was bound by no oaths of service, yet in truth, that didn't make any difference. Shelly was owed her privacy….

"Hasn't forgiven herself?" Ron asked, lopsided grin and eyepatch giving him the look of some bad Hollywood pirate. "We all know that." He shrugged. "I'm sorry I had to make her do that, but well, it was that or end up a charcoal briquette."

"But she used them for good." Hank said.

"She used the only thing left of Shego, Hank." Cindy said quietly. "Think of that. The _only_ thing that she still has in common with the bitch who tortured her friends, who enjoyed doing it… who tried to use her to get to them." She paused, "Who evidently wasn't too nice to Shelly when they were sharing the same brain."

"Kinda…" Felix looked embarrassed, but forged gamely ahead. "Like those movies when you think the bad guy is dead but he was hiding in your house all the time?"

"She thinks Shego might be coming back?" Hank paused, "could she?"

"No." Margaret said. "And you can trust me, Hank, of all the people in this room I'm the _least_ likely to trust her." Kim frowned, but her mother ignored her, even while she continued working on her legs. "Those memory patterns were _gone._ The power still infuses her, but that's a different matter."

"But it…" Sarah thought about it, then nodded. "I know where she went."

"Let's go." Kim said, tried to get up and gasped. "Maybe I should go in the wheelchair."

"You're not going at all." Sarah said. "I am. Alone."

"But she's my sis-"

"Mom!"

"Sarah-" Sarah waited until the room had fallen silent.

"If she's there, she doesn't need a whole flotilla of people swarming in—_especially _relatives who she's not even prepared to meet yet. If she's not there…well, you'll have to find her somewhere else. I'll give a call if I'm wrong…and nobody follow me." With that, Felix's mother swept out of the room.

"Maybe I should have Wade…"

"Do you really think a cyberrobotic specialist can't think of that, Kimmie?" Her mother asked.

"Good point." Kim said.

"Besides, I think we should trust Sarah." Cindy said, looking at the various teens. "She and Shelly have spent a good deal of time together, after all."

* * *

St. Michael's was quiet—the main cathedral was always open, although it was nearly empty at this time of day. Sarah let herself in, quietly, and looked up towards the front. There was a black haired, familiar form in the pew, her head cast down, hand's on the edge of the pew, the rosary Shego had bought to complete her masquerade twined around her burned fingers. Sarah walked over to the pew, and moved into it, kneeling by Shelly. She looked at the girls hands, and nodded.

"Do they hurt?" Sarah asked, seeing the burns on them.

"A little." Shelly said softly.

"Scared?"

"I… I don't know." Shelly said. "I thought I could be free of her. Completely… but now I used those powers…"

"To save lives."

"So did _She_ at first." Shelly said.

"They're not evil." Sarah quietly said.

"How do you know?" Shelly replied looking up at her, than down at her hands, already healing faster than anyone could have expected. "I…She wasted her entire life, all these powers…for nothing. Do you know that Feli-" She dipped her head, cheeks turning red.

"That Felix would be walking if he had those powers? Of course, Shelly." Sarah quietly replied. "But for good or ill…they are yours, not his." She smiled.

"It's not who or what you are." Sarah continued, "It's what you do with those abilities…" She smiled slightly. "Do you know I could be rich?" Shelly blinked, looking over at Sarah at the odd shift in the conversation.

"Rich?"

"Oh yes. I've received quite the number of offers and veiled comments…in fact, when I didn't take those offers, I found some of my other job opportunities vanishing. When I came to the Space Center, I was down to 100 dollars in my bank account, and Dr. Possible had to cosign on the loan I used to put the down payment on the house." Shelly blinked at that.

"But…but _why?_"

"It's like I said—what you do with those abilities." She looked up at the front of the Church, where Christ looked down, eternally crucified and risen. "I'm a cybertronic and robotics specialist. I won't be modest—I'm probably one of the three or four best in the world." Shelly didn't blink. Dr. Renton _was_ the best, according to what Kim's father had said to Kim. Sarah sighed. "And so, if you can make an autonomous space probe that can adapt to conditions, make decisions on the fly… well, you can also make a combat robot that is great at killing people." Shelly blinked at that. _Dr. Renton_? Felix's mother practically walked out of her way to avoid stepping on a _bug_!

"It was hard, the first time I was offered. David had just been killed, Felix crippled." She didn't say anything for a moment, but then continued, "David had always been the fellow who took the pressure… he'd worked to put me through college, and suddenly… he was gone." Another pause, "Sometimes when I wake up at night, I still put my hand out, to touch him in bed beside me… to tell him something exciting that happened that day… but he's not there." Shelly closed her eyes at the pain in Sarah's voice.

"But I was barely holding on, and that's when I got the first offer—I was already a little well known, you see, and they were looking for someone to help iron out the problems."

"The Pentagon?"

"They didn't say who. I don't know." Sarah said, "But I had a decision to make. I needed money. Badly. All I had to do was…give up every moral qualm I had. Turn every ability I had towards making better killing machines."

"You didn't."

"I didn't." She softly continued, "Because it was _wrong._ Shelly. We're all given abilities, but what we do with them is up to us, and I could _not_ do that." She laughed softly, "I admit I got a little hot. When one of the recruiters decided to push and ask what David would think about me refusing to do something that could help get the money Felix needed, I told him he would be happy that I was refusing to make _more_ dead fathers." She looked at Shelly. "The gift was granted to me, to develop or not, but what I did with it…_That_ was my choice. My responsibility." She took Shelly's burned hands in hers, gently.

"_This_, is a gift, Shelly. Not a curse, not an affliction. Not the greatest gift you have, by any means—Your mind and courage are greater than _this_ magic trick ever will be, but still a gift. But it doesn't brand you. It simply requires that you decide what to do with it."

"I…. I almost let us get killed. Ron was shouting at me…but I didn't want to…to become Shego again. To do anything to survive."

"You're not Shego. Shego is dead, Shelly. The role she can play in her life is the one _you_ let her play."" Sarah said, "The living kids can attest to that."

"They all…"

"All of them." She paused, "And Ron, who I think wants to apologize to you."

"He doesn't need to." Shelly said. Sarah nodded, and looked at her hands.

"We need to have those looked at." She shrugged, "Even if you don't use them often, it might be wise to learn as much as we can about how it works to insure you're not always burning your hands. Even if they heal quickly, that can't be pleasant."

"How did you know where to find me?" Shelly asked as they left the building.

"You're religious, Shelly, and I spent time in places like this, after… David." Shelly blinked.

"But you don't go to chur—I mean I never saw, I mean." She stopped, flustered.

"No." Sarah quietly said, "I don't." She paused, "I believe in God, Shelly. That's not the problem." Shelly didn't say anything, and Sarah continued.

"It's just that I'm still very angry at Him, and I've never forgiven Him. For David…for Felix. And because of that, I try to avoid His house."

Shelly opened her mouth, and closed it. What could she say? She got up and started walking out of the church, slowly. Sarah followed her.

"Is… Kim OK?"

"Her legs are giving her hell, but yes." Sarah said once they were on the street.

"Did she have to go to the hospital?"

"Her mother's helping her."

"Oh."

"And there's someone you need to meet." Shelly blinked.

"The police?"

"No—they got all the statements they needed." Sarah said quietly. "I think… well, I don't think you'll be unpleasantly surprised." Shelly looked puzzled at her vagueness, but didn't say anything. Sarah noticed that the burns on her hands had almost vanished, only a faint reddish tinge to the skin showing anything had happened.

_And she's not turned the same green as Shego… Not that I'm complaining, but I wonder why. Maybe… _Shego had used her powers, continuously, with joy…Shelly had used them…once, and to say she'd been reluctant, was putting it mildly. Maybe that was it? Sarah shook her head slightly. Regardless of the cause it did make things easier right now.

By the time they got back to her house, Shelly's burns were completely gone. Sarah shook her head at that. Maybe at some point she should suggest Shelly let Dr. Possible examine her to see if her healing ability might be transferable. If they could figure out how she regenerated…

On the other hand, Margaret still had issues about Shelly. Maybe it would be wiser to wait a while.

As they got closer to home, Sarah considered telling Shelly who was waiting for her. Then she decided against it. Shelly might bolt again.

"Well, home again." Sarah said as the pulled up and Shelly looked out at the Renton home. There were a number of cars out there. But Sarah didn't give her a chance to say anything as she ushered her into the house. Sarah hesitated briefly at the door, realizing she should have called ahead, but Cindy and Margaret had evidently realized what might happen and when she entered, the living room was empty of everyone save one large form.

Hego.

Shelly stopped dead, and Hego looked equally frozen. Sarah didn't say anything, moving to the other door. Something's had to be done alone.

_My God._ Hego thought, stunned. _It looks like her. It looks like **her.**_ _It is her…not Shego, **Shelly**._ There was her face, confused, and slightly confusing—he hadn't seen that look in years. Her eyes and mouth didn't have the frown lines that even the best cosmetics couldn't always disguise in Shego, and her eyes…

Her eyes had the same look in them he remembered from the orphanage, and the first days away from it. Open, kind…not like how they'd been, as Shego had progressively closed herself off from the world.

She looked like his little sister.

_Oh No._ Shelly thought. It was him… It was Hank. He looked… big. No…old. He was looking at her with a look very much like disbelief, or maybe fear, and she could see the age lines in his face. Not many…but so many more than when she'd last remembered seeing him. Before she'd destroyed everything he'd tried to do. Even if it had been…dumb…

He'd been the one who had been sent to his room and not allowed any desserts for a whole month because he'd waded in and sent a half dozen boys who had decided to surround a frightened Shelly, spitting on her and screaming "GOOK!" into her face. The one who had spun so many dreams of what would happen when they were out and together…

So they had been impossible dreams, at least until the comet hit. He had still dreamed, and she remembered that even when she'd been irritated at them, they'd also drawn her in, given her, like the others, something to think of beyond the grim reality of their situation.

And how much better had his dreams been than the reality she'd created for herself.

He… She had to apologize. Hank was probably here to let her know that the others didn't want to see her…that he didn't want to see her.

It was alright. She could understand it.

"Shelly…" Hank said. "Oh God… I've missed you. We all have." His face had a different expression on it, like a man in a fever dream, fearful he'd soon awakened.

He words pierced her as no angry shouts could have. She deserved the anger. She didn't…she didn't have the right to even dream of deserving anything else.

"I'm…" She said, her throat constricting. "I'm..so… I…couldn't talk to you because I didn't deserve-"

"Yes…" Hank said, "Yes you do. You're _family._"

"No…I…" Shelly moaned, "I don't…" She felt the tears falling from her eyes and couldn't say anything more, as Hank swept her up in a bear hug, holding her fiercely, and then she lost control.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry…" Shelly could only say, over and over again as Hank held her.

"Shhh…It's OK, Little Sis…" Shelly was only held up by Henry's arms as she sobbed into his chest, her only words incoherent apologies.

Sarah quietly closed the door. They would come out when they were ready…but she figured they both had some talking to do.

Families always did.

* * *

TBC. 


	23. Reconciliations and Confrontations

"What…what should I do?" Shelly asked, wiping her eyes. She and Hego had returned to the room where the others were, sitting down on the couch.

"What do you want to do?" Sarah asked. That stopped Shelly. She looked over at Hego, than at the others.

"I'd…" She paused, "I think I'd like to stay here… Henry…I have friends here… I don't know if I could start at another school…"

"I think you're right, sis." Henry said.

For a moment Shelly wondered if that meant that he really didn't want her.

"You need friends…" Henry paused, "People your own age and not…" There was a sad smile on his face, "A comic book geek who believed too many of his own fantasies." Shelly twitched. She knew who had probably said that.

"That's not-"

"I think it is." Henry said, "The thing is, between Go Tower and everything else, I can't be certain I wouldn't convince myself you'd be better off back in the saddle. I think Mrs. Renton," he nodded at Sarah, "Would be wiser, and let you chose your own path."

"There's also the issue of well…" Sarah paused, "I'm sorry Shelly, but it really is best if as few as people as possible know about your connection to Shego. Kim had _many_ friends and not all of them would be willing to let you live in peace." Kim twitched and Sarah looked at her. "No matter what Kim said."

"And…" Hego paused, "Mego would never forgive you for stealing the limelight."

Shelly blinked, "Is he still…"

"Interested in the three most important people on the planet…me, myself and I?" Henry grinned, "Yes, I'm afraid he is, although he's gotten better."

"And the twins?"

"Actually they're your 'age' now, and giving many people in high school gray hairs."

Shelly burst out laughing. "Let me guess, the old…. We remember anything any one of us experienced."

"The same, and that means, according to them that as long as one of them is in school, all their duplicates should be free to run rampant."

"Oh dear…." Cindy said. "and I thought Middleton had problems."

Kim perked up at that, and they soon were talking about quite inconsequential and funny things. Margaret could almost forget who Shelly had been, enjoying the sound of her daughter laughing—natural laughter without the hysterical tinge that had all too often been a part of it.

But the day had been very trying given everything that had happened, and before long Kim found her head dropping onto her chest, even as Ron felt his own eyes lidding

"Okay, doctors orders." Cindy said, "Everyone not a resident of the Renton home, head home." Margaret nodded and helped her daughter up off the couch and into her wheelchair, Ron strolled out after them promising to destroy Felix at Zombie Mayhem the next day, while Hego and Shelly remained talking.

As the others left, Sarah nodded at Cindy. "Did you see Margaret?"

"Yes." Cindy said, "Sarah…it's going to take a lot of time."

"I know… it was hard enough for me and there was no one to blame in the accident." Sarah said sadly, "But I do wish she and James would work it out together." Cindy nodded at that. They had done their best for Kim and the Twins, but the tension between Margaret and her husband was palpable whenever they were together…which wasn't as often as she would have liked.

"I know…but…. We can't do everything." She said.

Sarah nodded. "Nor should we. Concern is one thing, being a busybody…"

"Yes. Night, Sarah—don't let Henry keep Shelly up all night."

"I won't."

Sarah went back in to realize that the problem wasn't going to arise. Shelly had evidently dropped off in the middle of a comment, and was curled up, sleeping.

"This happened a lot when she first gained her power—using it would lead to a crash later." Henry said, "She took to keeping energy snacks in her pockets…you might have to remind her of that."

"She's not shown much interest in using her power." Sarah said. "But I will." She gestured to Shelly's room. "Could you?"

"Oh, yes, of course." He said, easily bearing Shelly into her room. Hego paused and looked around. "Even the room…"

"M?" Sarah said, as she tucked Shelly in.

Henry gestured at the pictures. Landscapes, small towns, homes… "Shelly loved images like that. A place of her own, maybe a town where you could know other people and not have them come in and leave as parents got them, or evaluate you and then leave, because you weren't "good enough" to be part of their family." He paused, "And even if you did get chosen, you'd leave everything behind."

"It must have been hard."

Hego shrugged as they walked back out into the living room. "It was…but don't get me wrong, it wasn't a hellhole. Not by any means…it's just that it's never easy." He paused, "I'll have to…tell the others about this…carefully. Especially the Twins. They took what happened…very hard."

"I understand." Sarah said. "You realize that Shelly is on track to graduate…she has the knowledge, none of us felt it would be fair to force her to repeat classes…and it's very important for family to be at a student's graduation."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

* * *

By the time Margaret got home, Kim was nearly comatose, to say nothing of being sore. Her mother helped her into bed. Kim was a bit grimy from the adventure of the day, but Margaret judged she needed sleep more than a bath, especially given how difficult it was for her to bathe now. Showers were in her past, and she needed a spotter to get in or out of the tube.

Finally, Margaret walked back down the stairs to enjoy a quick tea before bed. Sitting down, she looked over and tensed.

James. Her husband.

She tried to relax, but too much had been said in the horrible days after Kim's disappearance and return…intellectually Margaret knew that much of it was just the outcome of not being able to do something… but both adults had still torn into each other with all the fury fear and despair could produce…and all the ability to hurt that living together for nearly twenty years, knowing every secret of the other could give them.

_I wonder if we'll ever be able to go back… _she thought.

"James." She said softly. _Say something funny…_

"Margaret." He said, his hair now far more streaked with gray then it had been, and sat down on the couch.

With two feet of empty air between them.

"I heard that Kim had some excitement today."

"It…the kids handled it."

"I expected them too." He quietly said. "I need to let Ronald know that the black hole jokes are a thing of the past."

"He'd like that."

"I know he would." James paused and looked at her. "And Shelly as well Margaret." He looked at her and Margaret found herself getting nervous.

"Or perhaps the correct name would be Shego. Would you care to explain, Margaret?"

* * *

TBC


	24. Nighttime tension

Margaret's brain shut down. _How did he kno-_

"Know?" Johnathon didn't laugh, but looked at his wife directly. "God Margaret, do you think I'm _that_ stupid?"

Margaret didn't say anything.

"1. Shelly shows up after Shego's death. 2. There's a fight involving a returned Shego which conveniently leaves no body behind." He paused, looked as if he wanted to start shouting at his wife, "3. Shelly's body type is much like Shego's if you allow for age. And 4. Margaret Possible, who is practically a second _mother_ to a good chunk of the Middleton Cheer Team not only isn't so to Shelly, but makes it a point to ban her from our house, even though _she's done nothing at all to merit it._" Now his glare was directly on his wife. "And five…my wife isn't nearly as good at lying to my face as she thinks this is, so tell me Margaret, am I right?"

"…"

"Yes." It came out as a whisper.

"So." Johnathon quietly said, "In addition to everything else, you've been lying to me." Margaret couldn't say anything about that. The gulf between them on the couch was as great as the gulf between stars.

"She's not…Shego anymore." Margaret said desperately, "I-"

"Don't you think I knew that?" He quietly said, "If you believed for an instant that she was I don't care what Kim and Ron said—and it was them, wasn't it?" Margaret nodded. "Would have kept you from calling down everything you could down upon her head." He looked at her, and she felt something shrivel inside.

_Well of course I had to lie. You were the one taking care of the twins, of our children who hadn't been maimed. What about me? Too hard for you in your ivory tower so you leave holding Kim while she cries to me?_ Margaret remembered that and dozens of other vicious conversations held quietly when their children were asleep or loudly when they were gone. She hadn't told anyone about them, not even Cindy. It wasn't fair. Johnathon had held Kim as well, had come to the hospital and sat by her bed after she'd tried to commit suicide.

But it had felt so _good_ to find a target, a target that was there and alive, a target you could _hurt._

_It may be an ivory tower, but at least my work is worth something. You keep telling me how good a surgeon you are, but I guess that's only for other people, not our daughter._ Johnathon remembered that, thrown back into his wife's face, and the expression—like she'd been physically punched in the face.

"If you can't tell me the truth." He quietly said, "I don't know how much we have." He paused, "We need to… make a decision."

"We can't get…" Margaret couldn't say it, "separated, not right now, not now that Kim's finally getting better." She paused, "And the Twin's deserve better."

"Yes." The word came out quietly. "I almost went home with Vivianne Porter today."

"Why didn't you?" Margaret asked. It didn't shock her as badly as she thought it would, which as a pretty clear sign of how far things had fallen.

"I…I wish I could say it was my choice…but." He turned and Margaret noticed the fading imprint of a hand across his face, "Vivianne expressed herself forcefully. She told me that she wasn't going to help wreck our family and that…"

"What?"

"She owed me everything for her job and career, but if I ever even hinted of this again, she'd resign that very day and leave town. She told me to come and talk to you."

"And we're talking."

"Yes."

"But not…" Margaret closed her eyes. "communicating. Are we?"

"No…. I didn't… I didn't mean…" He stopped. "Yes. Yes I did. I wanted to hurt something. You were closest."

"I know. It was the same for me." _We've saved our children, but what about us?_ She looked at the Man she'd loved more than anyone else on the planet, and realized that that love may have taken a fatal wound.

"I-" Johnathon didn't say anything. Margaret was also silent thinking of a bed upstairs that had become an exercise in tension, two people sleeping in it, as far from the other as they could get.

"We can't do this." She said finally.

"I know." He paused, "Who knows about Shego….who we can talk to."

"Rabbi Katz and Cindy." Margaret said.

"We need…" He paused, face working for a few seconds. "I think we need help Margaret. Do…do you think that Rabbi Katz or Cindy would be willing to…help us, as a marriage councilor?"

"Rabbi Katz yes…." Margaret said. "Not Cindy—she has to keep her responsibilities to Kim in mind."

"Yes. I'll make the appointment for tomorrow."

It should have made everything better, Margaret thought. Now that the decision had been made Hollywood mandated a torrid reconciliation.

It didn't happen. They both just sat on the couch, silent, getting no closer to the other, until much later, still without speaking, they went to bed.

TBC.


	25. The Rabbi and the Cheer leader Captain

The Rabbi and the Cheer leader Captain.

* * *

The next day, James took time off from the Space Center. Kim had left early, something about meeting with Bonnie to plan out the next series of cheer routines. Ron had left with her, muttering something about Lawn Gnomes.

Margaret didn't ask. Ron was a collection of odd phobias and screaming fears…and underneath that, battle steel and armor plate. Besides, she had her own fears.

They were going to meet Rabbi Katz. He received them both graciously at the synagogue and ushered them into an office.

"Johnathon."

"Rabbi." He paused, "I understand that one of the reasons you are asking me to help is because I am fully acquainted with all aspects of this case, correct?" They both nodded. "Very well. This will be difficult—perhaps one of the most difficult things you have ever done." He paused, "So, I have to ask. Do you consider your marriage worth saving at this point."

"Yes!" They both said.

Katz nodded, but his next words were serious. "I believe you both feel that way. Very well. This is not going to be pleasant. I wish it would be, but we are not talking about some minor problem here. Johnathon, do you trust your wife?"

"I…" Margaret's husband opened his mouth and closed it .The silence stretched out. "No." Margaret wondered if a single word had ever hurt someone so badly. Worse, because he was right. She _had_ lied to him.

"And you Margaret."

"I..I don't know." She said.

Katz nodded. "You both must understand that these issues have been growing, for anyone with eyes, since Kim's torture." He paused, "You kept them under control, because you both had to take care of your children…but you remembered every word, every cutting phrase…and now that Kim and Ronald are entering a recovery phase, it's all bubbling back to the surface. This is going to be very hard." He said, "And, understand this, it may turn out that a _temporary,"_ he stressed the word, "Separation may be for the best. I don't know, but understand that if I advise that, I am not trying to bring in divorce by the back door. If we get to the point where in my professional opinion, your best option may be dissolving your marriage, I will not disguise it by talking about separation."

_Dissolving… oh god, Please no._ Margaret didn't…couldn't…even now.

Katz leaned back and continued, "That being said, I believe you two can save your marriage, if you work at it." He shrugged, "I cannot do it for you. To many people come in expecting to have me give them the magic word, or a book on more fulfilling sex, or some other way to quickly and simply solve their problems. That is never the case. I'm a facilitator, but it is up to you two, and you must understand that this is not a place where you may find your own opinions vindicated. You are both in the right, and in the wrong." He paused, "And very stubborn, which is where Kim gets her 'Kimness' as Ronald so elegantly put it."

"And because of that, I need to tell you something. What happened to Kim was _not_ your fault." Margaret tensed. "Yes Margaret."

"If we'd put our foot down… had a more normal life-" She stopped looking at Johnathon who tensed, but Katz smoothly intervened.

"Kimberly could have died in an auto wreck, or been raped…and she would not have been early as prepared as she was. What happened to her and Ronald would have destroyed 99 out of a hundred people on this planet." He looked at her, "And even if she had died, once you confided in my how proud you were of her, of all the work she'd done helping others."

"I-" She continued, "She didn't have to do it that way, we should-"

"Have kept her from using her gifts?" Now Johnathon was speaking, angrily, "So she could just find someone to date, and get a part time job? She saved the world-"

"And look what it cost her. That's what we're supposed to have police for- and are you going to say the same thing if the Twins manage to blow themselves up-"

"Oh, now it's about-" Rabbi Katz whistled, cutting the two off.

"Yes, Johnathon, and yes, Margaret, it is, at least partially about them… or at least the two most worthless words in the English language—'if only'." He paused, "And you're both angry. Johnathon, regret at what happened to Kimberly doesn't make you a hypocrite… you don't need to feel guilty about your support for her." Kim's father started, "Nor do you need to take it out on your wife." He turned to Margaret, "Margaret, you knew, intellectually that it was possible for things to go wrong, and you didn't stop her. That doesn't make you a bad mother, nor do _you_ need to feel guilty about it. Besides, the real point is that you're not talking to Kim about this, but each other. That's the core of your problem."

* * *

"Okay Kim." Bonnie asked, "I'm here early…so what is your great new plan?" Kim looked over to Shelly and nodded.

Then she told Bonnie.

"_WHAT?_"

TBC.


	26. Proposals and Agreements

Proposals and Agreements

* * *

Bonnie stomped around the gym.

"You _cannot_ be serious." She said, glaring at Kim and then glared at Shelly. "Did you put her up to this?"

"I think she can do it, Bonnie."

"Oh really." Bonnie said, marching up to Shelly and poking her between the breasts. "Did you consider what will-" She paused, and looked over at Kim. "Kim, Shelly and I need to talk about something, don't leave." Then she grabbed Shelly by the arm and dragged her out of the gym.

"Well, that went about like I expected." Kim said to the empty gym.

The dressing room was abandoned right now, so Bonnie decided it was the best place to have her conversation in addition to being conveniently located near the trash bins, making it much easier to hide the body if it came to that.

"Are you insane?" Bonnie hissed.

"No, I've been helping Kim out, and I think."

"That's wonderful. You _thought._" Bonnie continued, "That this would be a good idea, and I bet she hit you with that Puppy Dog Pout." She paused, "What if she _fails?_ She's just barely gotten back on her feet!"

"Isn't it her choice?"

"No!-Yes! I don't know! ARRGGH!" Bonnie grabbed her hair like she was about to pull it out. "Fine. We'll get a second opinion."

"What?"

"Dr. Peterson." Bonnie said. "That or no deal." She paused, "_WHAT?_"

Shelly looked at her. "If what I've heard is right…this is a first. Bonnie Rockwaller is at a loss for words or plans."

"No, Bonnie Rockwaller is smart enough to know when to run off and get help like a screaming little girl."

They both than walked out to where Kim was and Bonnie gave the ultimatum.

Kim nodded. "Okay." Bonnie looked around. "Where's Ron?"

"Present, Ma'am!" Ron waved from his position on the Bleacher. "I had to hide, several girls saw me, and overcome by my roguish charm-"

"Right…" Bonnie said, "did he hit his head?" She asked Kim.

"No." Kim said.

"So this is normal for him now."

"He's been talking about getting a hook hand and demanding that 'arrr' be permitted as a proper word in English class."

"We're doomed." Bonnie muttered. "Capn' Nacho, get your butt down here, we're going to see the doctor."

Cindy was finishing up some paperwork about the terrible mental demons that had driven a student to key two teachers car. Unfortunately, she couldn't write the simple English diagnosis, which would have read: "Brat didn't get enough training from Mommy and Daddy about property rights. Either paddle or make him work to pay it back until he learns more about said rights." So, she was consulting her books to say the same thing in language that wouldn't cause people to call her Attilla the Hun.

When the four students came in, She put her report away. Bonnie looked Frazzled… which was pretty unusual. Still, the others didn't look nearly as upset, so it was more likely than not a BonnieMeltdown.

"Kim wants to start cheerleading again."

Okay, so it wasn't just a BonnieMeltdown. Cindy felt the prick of concern rise up, Kim had come walking in, but she still needed her cane, and this was a _good_ day.

_Tell me she hasn't decided she can get back to normal. I thought we'd crossed that bridge. _

"That's…." Cindy didn't let her concern touch her voice, "A rather impressive goal."

"And it's not what I said." Kim said, giving Bonnie a mild glare. "I _said_." She continued, "That _if_ I can get in shape, I would like to do _one_ game, not even the whole game."

"That's a bit more realistic, but still, I-" She looked at the others. "Could you all wait outside? This has become a consultation." The other three nodded, and left. When the door closed, Cindy looked at Kim, in a no-nonsense way. "Why Kim?" She asked, "You'll never be able to do this in college, not that you need it, with all your scholarships, so why? Even if you could do it, and that's by no means certain, you'll be spending most of your senior year in great pain to achieve it. She leaned back. "Bonnie isn't someone who normally punts a decision to the higher authority, so you have to understand how badly this shook her."

"Yeah." Kim said, softly, "We probably should have prepared her…still seeing Bonnie at a loss for words like that…"

"Well there was that." Cindy agreed, "But you haven't answered the question."

"Okay." Kim said, and took a breath, "Shego…one of the things she loved joking about was that my cheer days were over. After she…" She gestured at her lower spine, "She asked if they'd roll me out in a wheel chair." She shrugged, "Right before she told me I was going to die in there, of course."

"And?"

"And I don't want her to be right." Kim said, quietly, but fiercely. "I can't be a college cheer leader, hell I can't even be a regular cheer leader, but I want one last game, one last time, and then…and then I can walk into the locker room, take my stuff out of the locker and walk out for the last time, and I'll _know_ it was _my_ decision. I _did_ go out there one more time, and did it, and now I'll go on with my life…but _my_ life, not what Shego had planned."

"And if it doesn't work out?" Cindy asked, "If at the end of the day, Bonnie tells you that you just can't do it, that if you went out there people would only be applauding out of pity?"

"Then I don't go. But I'll have _tried_." Kim looked up at Cindy and she saw unshed tears in the teens eyes. "Shego beat me, Cindy…not when I was in that room, not when I was starving, or holding on to Ron. I understand, now, why I did, it and you're right, I couldn't have done anything else." Kim paused, and pulled up her long sleeve shirt, revealing the ugly scars.

"She beat me here…when I _gave up._ When I tried to kill myself, because I couldn't face the world." Kim looked over to the door, "I'm here now, because of them, and you, and Mr. Barkin, and My Parents, and…" she laughed, and her voice caught, "the Tweebs, who did everything they could even though they didn't' have any idea what to do." She turned back to Cindy, "But I owe you all more than to just keep existing."

"You'll never just 'exist,' Kimberly Ann Possible." Cindy calmly said.

"Maybe, but I don't want to go on knowing that _anything_ Shego said, ended being right." Kim said, iron in her voice.

And then it ran out, and she was just a vulnerable teenaged girl sitting in front of Cindy. "So…Tell me true, doctor, am I just being too…'Kim' again. Can I try this? I don't know if I am right or If I'm fooling myself…so what do you think?" No puppy dog pout, no attempt to wheedle her way through it. No denial of the possibility that the answer might be 'no.'

Just an adult asking another adult a question and expecting an honest answer.

Cindy paused, and thought.

"This is going to hurt, Kimberly…physically it's going to hurt a great deal."

"I'm not unacquainted with pain." Kim said sadly, "especially not now."

"No. You aren't. But what if you fail, you've asked me to tell you true, and now I ask you. Will you be able to go on if you fail?"

"That's an easy question." Kim quietly said. "If I don't try, I've failed from the start. If I try, even if I do fail physically, she still didn't beat me. I _tried._"

Cindy paused, and then nodded. "Then I think you and your team have some exercise options to go over. I'll speak to your physical therapist about this. He and I have an understanding."

"You work together?"

"No. When we were teenagers, I called and told him to get out of his wife-to-be's bedroom just in time to avoid her father. He owes me."

TBC.


	27. Confession is good for the Soul

Confession is good for the Soul.

* * *

When Kim came out, Cindy stuck out her head and called: "Bonnie, could you come in here?"

Bonnie looked nervous, but walked in, and sat down.

"So, I'm agreeing provisionally, which puts a great deal of responsibility on you." Cindy said.

"Me?"

"You _are_ the cheer captain, right."

"Um, yeah, yes." Bonnie said.

"Well, there you go." Cindy smiled and then got more serious. Looking around to make certain the windows were closed, and that her lips couldn't be seen from outside, she continued, "Bonnie, because of Shelly's history, you have to understand that it may be just as important to her, as it is to Kim, that Kim be able to do this." Even nearly certain that they couldn't be overheard, Cindy avoided any clearer reference to Shego. "That might mean that she lets herself be convinced that things are…progressing better than they are."

"Oh."

"Oh indeed. That means that you're going to be their backstop, the voice of reason, and if necessary the voice that says "stop."". She paused, and looked, "Can I trust you?"

Bonnie avoided her eyes. "I don't know. Maybe you should ask Tara…"

"Tara wasn't there, and we'd have to tell her why, Bonnie. Too many people know this particular secret already. And why not you? You're better-"

"What if I want her to fail?" Bonnie's voice was a whisper.

"What?"

"What if…I make her fail… I… I don't think you can trust me." Bonnie said, and now she was looking at the floor.

Cindy raised her eyebrows. "You know, I think that's an interesting subject…Bonnie, why wouldn't you be able to be trusted, after everything you've done for Kim?"

"Because…Because that was when she was losing, now she's talking about winning." Bonnie spoke in a whisper. "I used to dream."

"Dream? Of what?"

"Nothing."

"Bonnie." Cindy said, "This goes no further. No matter what. But if you started talking, I think you need to talk more, for yourself if nobody else."

"Okay." Bonnie took a deep breath, "I used to dream that Kim would screw up—screw up so massively that she's at my feet, blubbering like a five year old, snot coming out of her nose, tears rolling down her cheeks and she's begging me to fix it, because she can't. _I'm_ the one in charge now, the one that's going to fix the cheer team."

"And?"

"When she tried to kill herself…she looked almost like that, except for the blood. She wasn't begging me, but…"

"But she couldn't fix it." Cindy nodded. "And then?"

"After everything else happened, I went into the other bathroom and threw up my lunch." Bonnie said quietly. "I _didn't_ want that to happen, Doctor."

"Of course not." Cindy said, "There's a reason we're warned about wishes and getting what we wished for—it's very seldom what we wanted or believed we would get." She paused, "And you're afraid that now, now that Kim's proactive again, and having goals for herself, now that you're merely a support for her, instead of being the one in charge, you'll take the opportunity to knock the pins out from under her."

….

"Yes." Bonnie finally whispered, and Cindy could hear the shame in her voice.

"First of all, Bonnie, few people who do that actually worry about it." Cindy said, "and secondly, if you had been intending to do that, you wouldn't have come to me for the final decision—you would have done everything you could have to keep people like me _out_ of the decision, trusting in your ability to put on over on Kim and Shelly and your ability to dominate the rest of the cheer team." She nodded in the Gym's direction. "You didn't…but it does open up another conversation we should have had."

"What?"

"You didn't hate Kim, you wanted to _be_ Kim."

"Freak fighting? Hell_oo_." Bonnie indicated her immaculate nails. "Me? Please."

"How about siblings who actually loved you." Cindy said softly and a silence fell.

"I don't want to talk about it." Bonnie said in a dead voice.

"Not even to Tara?"

"She wouldn't understand."

"Probably not. Nor would Kim." Cindy said sadly. "I remember the talent show."

Now Bonnie winced, and turned red.

"Twelve years." Cindy continued, "How many hours a day."

"Usually about 3 sometimes four." Bonnie said, "It depends on the day—weekends sometimes more." She shrugged, "If you don't work, you backslide."

"And painful work." Cindy said, "And it came to…nothing, at the Talent show. You were beaten by someone who had put, oh, maybe five minutes of thought into it." She carefully watched Bonnie, the girls hands clenched, nails digging into her skin.

"So what did Kim say?" Cindy continued, "I couldn't hear."

"So much for the Rockwaller Family Tradition." Bonnie quietly said.

"Ouch." Cindy shrugged, "Of course _her_ family was waiting for her. I noticed you left alone."

"Mom had a show, Dad was doing…something and Connie and Lonnie decided to leave, they didn't want to be associated with a failure." Bonnie said, her light tone belied by the moisture in her eyes. "I went home and nuked a pizza."

_Probably not all you did._ Cindy thought. She'd seen Bonnie the next day.

"And Kim was down there surrounded by her parents and siblings." Cindy said, "Must have pissed you off."

"She never…ever fuc-" Bonnie bit off the word, "even thinks about them, except to complain…well I mean, she doesn't now, but then…"

"I know." Cindy said and patted Bonnie's hand. "You don't hate Kim, Bonnie, you _envy_ her. She has a family and siblings that build up instead of tearing down, parents who love her and let's be honest, I strongly, _strongly_ doubt either your father or mother have the same claims on their time as one of the 20 best neurosurgeons in the nation and a leading aeronautical engineer who is also skilled In a dozen other fields." She laughed softly, "I have a friend at the space center and you would not _believe_ how many times other private concerns have made the trek with brief cases full of money to try and convince him to move. Never works. He likes it here." She paused, "And yet they both make time for all their children." She looked out the window, "Kim complained about her siblings and parents, because Bonnie, I doubt she could even conceive of them being anything less than what they were. It's like a fish complaining about the water it swims in. You can argue it should be grateful, because it isn't flopping around on land, but the Fish quite simply has no referents to even make such a comparison. "

Bonnie knitted her hands together. "The only thing Lonnie and Connie have said about this whole thing is that now I can finally beat Kim Possible."

"Have you?"

"No!" She burst out, "I can't beat her, I…I don't' even know if I want to beat her. It was bad enough with everyone talking about how quickly I took over the cheer team, even though Kim asked me…. After everything I do…" She closed her eyes, squeezing out tears, "She goes and _asks_ me to replace her."

_Survivor's Guilt. To be expected._ Cindy thought.

"And please don't say what my priest said."

"Oh?"

"That this is part of "God's Plan" to help me." She paused, "I don't _want_ to worship some God that does something like this to somebody else so I can have a hallmark moment and get better."

"That's…" Cindy paused, "Well, I won't get into my belief's Bonnie, but I doubt he was saying that God set Kim up. But most churches accept that while free will allows for evil, God can make use of it, to bring forth good, without initiating the evil act or making it less evil."

"That sucks."

"It's often cold comfort, yes." She looked at Bonnie, "But I don't think you're entirely finished. How are you and Kim getting along now?"

"Better…lots better, she's actually pretty cool and she really _does_ love the Twins, and-" Now Bonnie bit her lip and refused to talk.

"And…"

"I, nothing."

"And perhaps you're feeling guilty because it's only because Kim was so horribly hurt that you and her did manage to connect. Or maybe that you both wasted a fair amount of time before now." Bonnie didn't speak. Cindy leaned back and continued, "Bonnie, both you and Kim are type A, very, _very_ in charge personalities. Fine, you don't' run out and fight freaks like Kim did. You did however choose a very difficult field, ballet that is dependent on self discipline. Kim saw the girl who could casually negotiate the sort of social minefield she's never really liked, and did things that reduced her to a puddle, _as did you._"

"Reduced _Kim_ to a puddle?" Bonnie laughed.

"Of course. Remember who signed her up for the Talent show." Cindy said.

"I thought she was going to kill Ron." Bonnie said, a ghost of a smile.

"Not loser?"

"I-" Now she looked down, "No, Never again."

"Good. Since he's your friend now as well, being envious of him seems a bit redundant."

"I was, wasn't I." Bonnie laughed, "I mean, he was always _there_ for Kim."

"Yep." Cindy smiled, "Bonnie, if you want to talk about this with me, feel free. If not, you probably should find someone else to talk about this with."

"It's hard."

"It always is. But as for Kim. Don't worry. The concerns you're talking about, your fears…those are the fears of a _friend_, not someone trying to justify a backstab. I'll give you one piece of advice—don't double think yourself. Don't doubt. You have friends, new friends, and yes, the situation around how that came to be was pretty horrible. That's the past, and this is the now. Go with the now, and don't overthink the past…or the future."

Bonnie nodded. "I…thanks." She got up to leave.

Cindy stopped her on the way out: "Bonnie?"

"Yes?"

"All this aside, if Kim does start to relapse into her steamroller mode and gives you grief about either how far she should push herself, or how ambitious the routine she wants to do is, feel free to consider me your 12 pound sledgehammer to pound some sense into her head."

"I…" Abruptly Bonnie smiled, "I was about to say I wouldn't need it, but this is Kim we're talking about, isn't it."

"Smart Girl." Cindy said, as Bonnie left, far less uncertainly than she'd come in.

_And someone really needs to kick the collective ass of your family, Bonnie Rockwaller._ Cindy thought.

TBC.


End file.
